~SHE IS BROKEN BECAUSE SHE BELIEVED~

ALERT!!! THIS BLOG CONTAINS SO MUCH HURT FEELINGS

Pardon me if I only find this social media now as my way of expressing what I feel right now. I mean I was able to spill it out earlier thru crying when I was with my boyfriend which I know it helps me so much.

I just wanted to let it ALL out now, and I am already asking an apology if I find it this way out. I just can't think of anywhere else to go, since I told my boyfriend I will let it out the rest here, let me have the chance in here.

I can't help it anymore but to CRY.

I expected TOO much from my former bosses, they gave me HIGH HOPES but I DON'T see anything happening to what is promised to me.

Somewhere in the middle of 2017, my Production Manager/Manufacturing Engineer whispered to me I suggested you to the management because they ask me if who can I suggest to them, who does well with their work, and I told them about you. I know how you work and how you are in the line. They might call you and talk to you. Few days later he told me, another Manufacturing Engineer told me keep up the good work, you are doing well. When there is a promotion, we will pick you (now tell me, who wouldn't expect from those words? Coming from not only one boss but two).

By the end of the year, the VP in Operations, tried to hire another person, a new production manager. This time it's a both He/She, she is mean. I don't like her (I admit that). In her first week, she tried to start changing to what we have in the cleanroom. Which made everyone hates her more.

From her, I FELT DEGRADED I can't even put the pain in words right now. That's how painful for me.

The cleanroom has two lines, The Sub-Assembly (SA) line and the Final Assembly (FA) line. I started at work with SA, then later they moved me to FA. For 2017, I was in FA. I was even a part of two projects from the start of developing the project the to the end which we just finish before 2017 ended.

Early this year, she is micro managing us, she controls time going to the bathroom, taking breaks and preparing stations. First, she confronted me from keep going out of the cleanroom, she said you take breaks more than the average number of breaks of every people inside I refrained from the bathroom breaks, I hold my pee sometimes especially when she is in. The next argument we have, which she made me cry, I started that day at 6:00, 6:20 AM I haven't get my station ready and she was like, you are supposed only to get your station ready for 15 minutes, it's already passed 20 minutes and you haven't done anything, that day, I have to get ready everything because I started working that station that day, unlike if I work there the day before, it would have been easier. I was crying so bad that day, she saw me. I said everything what I want her to hear.

It seems like now that she doesn't want me in the FA, I maybe not a big help to FA anymore, I don;t belong there anymore, I guess. Until now I am still in the SA, the two new projects that I have been working on are starting this week but I haven't heard anything about it from her. I am stuck alone in FA. Which makes me feel so sad, to think those promises they told me, and lately I heard they will promote another person as lead (he started working there after me) which added more pain inside me, because I know my capabilities and what I can do.

TO MYSELF, THERE WIL BE MORE DOORS OPEN FOR YOU, GOD IS BUILDING YOUR BETTER FUTURE IF NOT INSIDE THE CLEANROOM, OUTSIDE THE CLEANROOM FOR SURE, JUST KEEP PRAYING AND YOU KNOW YOU DO WELL AND BETTER THAN OTHER PEOPLE INSIDE THE CLEANROOM. ENGINEERS KNOW HOW YOU WORK, MAYBE SHE DOESN'T SEE WHAT THE ENGINEERS SAW. YOU ARE DOING FINE AND WELL IT'S BETTER THAT ENGINEERS KNOW. MORE PATIENCE, THE APPRECIATION IS ON THE WAY =)

THANK YOU FOR PASSING BY, 'TIL NEXT BLOG

Princess Joana