Think Before You Speak, (Or Type). Is That AWAYS Good Advice? AKA Sometimes From The Heart Is Better...
So for those of you that know me this may appear to be a slightly strange post for me to write.
Usually, I choose a topic and go incredibly deep and over-analyze it for a couple of thousand words and take waaaay too long to detail something that could probably have been thrashed out in about 5 or 6 sentences. What can I tell ya? I LOVE words and I love to explore an idea until I am through to the end in my cluttered, unconventional mind.
BUT this is a very different idea for me. I actually want to write a little regarding a simple interaction that I had earlier in the day. I have thought about it several times and I realised the idea it prompted within is one that it may be interesting to share.
It may even give you pause for thought in your daily interactions too, who knows? If so that would be awesome as I love to inspire a little contemplation in others and I believe it usually turns out to provoke the greatest of engagement so I like to think everybody wins. 😎
It began with a fairly standard greeting that I make from time to time in a community server on Discord. Sometimes Discord channels become a little bit stale and it's nice to stimulate a few replies and wish people a great day/evening or whatever seems appropriate for the time.
So I opened with a simple one sentence greeting to the members of the @project.hope community. A project originally setup to help members of the Venezuelan community here on the blockchain with a unique economy behind it. The project seemed in alignment with my values and I have a few friends from VZ and understand just how fractured the nation is right now so decided to make a home there to play my part in helping such a noble and caring cause. The greeting was unremarkable...
I gained a response soon after from a really nice guy I met in the community. Again nothing out of the ordinary, our discourse was pretty mundane and the sort of thing you would see often.
The response was cheery and as you see wished me a happy Saturday too, but it did however take me back to the problems within the country and I felt a little strange about wishing such a cheery greeting when of-course we all know that from time to time we are all going through heavy things in life. We all experience times that are less fun, no fun or downright bloody tragic and does somebody being chirpy and jolly really help us at such times?
Uhm... No I guess it doesn't help us, however at such times we have a choice.
We could say something along the lines of;
A - Yes you are right, life is awful. What's the point in anything.
B - I'm thinking of you, hopefully the situation gets better soon.
C - Really try and think of something from the heart to let the person know you truly care.
You are a pretty clever Dear Reader and I don't need to examine the best or worst of those options other than to say that option A could actually leave a person more depressed or worried or hopeless about the coming day.
This is the response I sent back and this is the whole point of this post and will hopefully explain why I am rambling on quite so much 😂
I read back the message and decided I was happy with the sentiment it conveyed and hovered my mouse cursor over the send message button...
Then I second guessed myself. I thought we have only just met... We have engaged before in the dim and distant past but only in the past week have we begun to interact in the comment section and project.hope community. I have realised what a lovely man he seems to be and how many others in the community seem so welcoming and unbelievably nice.
I wondered if my greeting was too over-familiar? I wondered if it seemed too over the top? Did it sound insincere? Does anybody really talk like that in the real world?
BANG! Then it hit me!
Nope! Not many people do talk like that, maybe on TV but not so much in the so-called real world and I bloody wish they did!!!
My point, obviously, is that I almost did not send a message that I utterly and instinctively knew to be the right one. I was almost too embarrassed of speaking from the heart in the way that I wish most people around me, around the world spoke.
We are all familiar, even if we don't agree or approve of it of the way that men especially in many cultures are mocked or jibed by other men if they ever dare to show true feelings.Not everywhere or indeed everyone of course but we all know what I am referring to. The question is that;
Is that right? Is it acceptable that just by dint of gender somebody can not speak of feelings.
Gender in this case is completely irrelevant, I simply mention it to further illustrate times when heartfelt gestures and speech are looked upon with ridicule or disdain? Is that the world you would choose to live in if you were given the choice?
You may feel I have wasted many words on a seemingly tiny thing today but I disagree as strongly as I possibly can. I am merely asking the question, what id we all spoke freely and with care, compassion and empathy. What if the police, teachers, nurses, politicians, world leaders all adopted this practice?
Can you see how things could be very different today?
Now let me wish you and yours, all the joy that the world has to offer, may life treat you kindly, may fortune smile upon you and when times do get tough as they inevitably will, try, try and try again to find a chink of light in your situation, a single reason to feel at-least some optimism. And always remember, I mean always that...
@stevenwood words are that weapons that cannot be taken back once they come out of mouth, it give more destruction then an nuclear bom.
Oh my friend you are exactly right. We live in a world where so many do not realise the power and damging qualities of words.
How many times have we heard things like "It's just words" words can build a person up and make them feel loved and want to be a better person or they can break the heart and shatter the spirit.
May we always use our words for good :)
I seriously wonder why people have this terrible mindset, men are humans too and they have emotions. There are little things I publicly argue about and this is one of them.
Heyy you :)
We have not crossed paths in so, so long, maybe not since my Discord show for scribbleguild. Wow! How time flies.
I have a theory, it is simple but I truly believe it would be a bloody magnificent one if we all followed this simple path... Whenever we have the chance to be nice, to care, show compassion and spread love we should grab that opportunity tightly and relish the chance to make the world one tiny bit warmer with each act.
This should apply to men, women, all skin colours, religions and races, every nationality. Imagine if every single human woke up each and every bloody day with this simple mindset???
Every one of us would be in heaven, in a paradise permanently. Thankyou for taking the time to stop by and doubly for taking the precious time to leave me such a positive comment, you gave me a smile... You did at-least one amazing act today :)
@tipu curate
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 0/16 - need recharge?)
Thankyou so very much I wholeheartedly appreciate that kind, thoughtful gesture :)
Take great care, may all your days be filled with the vibrant power off electric and the skies ahead blue but never your mood my friend :)
Hi @stevenwood, your speech is incredibly good, you make something that could be trivial for anyone a fantastic piece of writing, which makes me think that you are a rather detailed and sensitive person, no doubt of a very active mind.
Yes, certainly in PH most are open to dialogue. In particular I tell you, as a Venezuelan that I am, that in Venezuela despite the difficulties that there are people will always be able to give a smile, a gesture of joy, and the desire to share so is what little they have.
Of course, the situation hits hard, I can't deny it, however, day by day we try to take the best of it. I am not currently there, in my country, since I emigrated two years ago. But it is impossible not to be aware of what is happening. Of course, not only is it there, at a global level things are not going so well, but, come on, we have to put our minds to the matter.
That thing you said about gender being very limited in the expression of emotions or feelings, that's real. There's a lot of machismo, there's a cruel relationship between showing feelings or some kind of sensitivity with DOBILITY, and they're not necessarily related, but they don't make them believe that way, movies, series, etc... you have to be brave, men don't cry, and many other things...
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, my friend.
Good start to the week.
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TrufflePigHi @stevenwood
Thanks for this closing it could not be better, and if it is it will be in a next publication of yours, of that I am sure.
Thank you for those good wishes for everyone, I know that it fills your soul and the soul of those who want to receive it, why wish someone else good, I think that person must also be willing to receive what is good. in my case I receive it with pleasure and I also send you the same energy.
If you have reason to quote Venezuelans, we are not having a good time, but somehow we are looking for a way to make a good day.
Once I heard a great thinker, I do not remember the name, but he said:
When you do things right, good things happen.
As well as you, I also somehow send positive messages, in the midst of so many negatives, my good friend and doctor @josevas217 can attest to that every time I write in a group where I am connected via WhatsApp.
I close with this phrase:
Te envió un gran abrazo desde Venezuela.
I think in a strange way, that when we smile even through the bad times, when we find reasons to laugh and share good vibes and best wishes and a little love with others, somehow we defeat some of the bad luck that has befallen our lives.
I realise of-course that this is not the answer to everything, our lives may still be tough, bad things still exist but we take away some of the power they have to hurt us. Smiling and laughing always feels better than crying too, right?
I am incredibly happy to hear from you my friend and can attest that 'gran abrazo' ((always returned)) is always a very welcome thing to see, if only that was the offer and the prescribed advice for so many situations in life 🙂
Thankyou so much for being one of the 'bright lights' my friend I am happy to know you. Be well, be happy, be you! That is more than enough for now 🙂