The Diary Game: Chapter 6- The Lovers

Just sitting down to write this is a beautiful moment. It is 11:44 AM and the device I’m writing from is at 44%. These are what are known as “angel numbers. Angel numbers are one way your angels, guardians and guides communicate with you (I will do a separate post on communicating with ancestors and celestial bodies). 11 means your manifestation is coming to fruition, or your wishes are coming true. 4 is the number of angels, sequential 4s is a sign that your angels are with you. This is a special moment to be savored. For a moment, my yearning for my soulmate quells and is replaced with the divine love that flows through me. In this moment I am brought back to the truth of my being. It is not his love that fills me with such vibrant passion, but my own love for him. It is MY love that feels this sublime. Love is a natural occurrence happening within the self, generated by the self and not some entity outside the self. Love is not something that happens to you but a vibration that you can tap into at any time. Also, 11 reduces down to 2, and 44 reduces down to 8. When you put 2 and 8 together we get the number 10. 10 is the end of a cycle. It goes through all of the single digits to bring us back to 1, where we start over again.

Let’s start over.

In tarot, there is a card designated to the concept of “soulmates.” This card is “The Lovers.”

The lovers is governed by the air sign known as “Gemini” and assigned the number 6. By some strange series of coincidence, or, as some would view it, fate, this is my 6th diary post here on Steemit. By some other coincidence, the one whose affections I yearn for is a Gemini. The symbol for gemini both in tarot and astrology is a pair of twins. Being ruled by air, the lovers is more about using your head than anything emotional, giving soulmate connections a telepathic bond. We all possess these abilities to some degree, and how we tap into them varies from person to person. More than that, the underlying theme of the lovers is one of choice. When we tap into the energy of love, that is a choice that we make, and that choice will be reflected in our actions. Maybe we can go as far to say that our love for ourselves and of others is defined by our choices.

I choose to put my focus on the cravings for his touch, for his scent, for the heat of his body. I choose this above my own peace of mind. I choose to suffer in holding onto hope that my lover will return because that is the capacity of my own love. I would suffer longer to see the curve of his lips form a smile once more. I would suffer just a little longer to be soothed by the tones of his voice. I would suffer alone, night after night, just to reunite for one more day. So much suffering. Is there, perhaps, another way?

There are different types of soulmates. Some are what are called “karmic soulmates.” The purpose of the karmic soulmate is to teach us valuable life lessons. Karmic soulmates do not have to be romantic in nature, but most certainly can be. They can often come as mentors, or even perceived enemies, forcing us to do the shadow work that we may be avoiding. Soulmates act as a mirror into the deeper part of ourselves, hence the symbology of the twins. They reflect back parts of ourselves that require our attention. They are just the right person to expose our subconscious programming and trigger us to act on it. Karmic soulmates are often very triggering.

The nature of karma is cyclical. It states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. These types of relationships tend to be very cyclical, popping up as a new person until you learn your lesson.

Some lessons must be painful so that they stick to us. When something is very hot, if we aren’t careful enough, if we get too close, we get burned.

The heat between us is so palpable, it draws me nearer, escaping the cold of the darkness. Vibrant, it fills me, as I get closer, and closer still. Warm waves of ecstasy entrance me, and I allow myself to be free of any inhibition that screams danger. Getting closer, and closer still. Ready to let the flame completely engulf me, my only choice is to trust that there is life after this. I fling myself, freely, to the hot tendrils. A stinging sensation lashes my skin, and I am shocked, as my brain translates this as pleasure. I’m ready to do it again, and again.

Soulmates are not mythical creatures that come to us as beings free from sin. We all possess duality, no one person is entirely good or entirely bad. Or soulmates may lie, cheat and steal. What are we willing to tolerate? Why? This is what our soulmates show us. We are are reflections for each other to catch a glimpse of ourselves in. The goodness you see in other people is more of a reflection of your own goodness, projected onto other people. Alternatively, the perception of evil within others is more of a reflection of your own dark side, and your relationship with it.

When we are having relational issues, instead of trying to control the other person into acting in a way that is more suitable to your needs, take a look at your own reaction. There is a lot of information about yourself in these reactions. Sometimes we do not like the information that is there for us, so these lessons are prolonged and repeated until they are learned.

Or sometimes, society tries to tell us what the lesson is, so we try to act accordingly, and we end up in a cycle until we learn the lesson that is meant for us.

You hear a lot of this “I don’t chase, I attract” nowadays. For persons with an anxious attachment style, this can be a very toxic mantra. It is important for persons with an anxious attachment style to be their authentic selves. The advice around dating often caters to persons with an avoidant attachment style, allowing for the avoidant to be distant, while the anxious partner, and even the secure partner, suffers as they yearn for more closeness and connection. We teach people to act aloof and uninterested, and when you think about it, this is the opposite of what it is to show love.

Too often people succumb to fear and the need to control in what are supposed to be loving relationships. They may seek out submissive partners, chasing a sense of security that they do not inherently possess. Taking fear based actions, over and over again, until they learn to choose the action of love. We often get stuck in these fear based thought patterns, until a soulmate shows up to show us the way out.

These lessons, they bind us. They are what are known as “soul contracts.” When we are beings of light, in the space between life and death, before we choose to come here on earth, we make soul contracts with different soulmates. A lot of times, we know a soul contract by this familiar feeling upon meeting someone new. Your souls fell in love with each other, once upon a time, some life time ago, in some distant dimension. Your souls agreed it would be unbearable to never see each other again, and so, a soul contract was born. Woven into the life force that connects all things, it’s a force that carry’s us from one life to the next. This force is everywhere, it’s in the light, the clouds, our blood, our breath.

This force takes us from tiny seeds, it implants us, and gives us life. The nature of life is fluid, it is movement, it’s photons changing every second, resembling both its past and future state, but being neither, constantly.

His energy is the warm sun against my skin. I wish to bask in his radiance, eternally. Taking his warmth in as my own, I feel my petals shifting. The more he gives, the more I change, my roots grow deeper. I reach for him with all my might, and suddenly, it happens. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, I am a lotus in bloom.

Let us explore a different concept now. Some people are on what is known as a “twin flame journey.” The twin flame is a type of soulmate. This connection is incredibly intense, and your twin flame is not always your life mate. In fact, the connection is so intense, that we don’t always choose to meet our twin flame in every lifetime. Twin flames force us to wake up and do our shadow work. They point out our shadow side in such a way that we make the necessary changes to be in a healthy, loving, committed partnership. Your twin flame is a romantic soulmate. Sometimes the shadow side of one, or both twin flames is so dark, that the connection becomes too toxic, and is severed. On the other hand, if both partners can learn to love correctly, this is the love of a lifetime. You will never forget, or stop loving, your twin flame.

When most people think of the word “soulmate,” they think of the life partner soulmate. Your life partner should feel like home. The relationship, for the most part, should be free of the dramatics of the karmic soulmate and twin flame. This relationship, though still requiring work, should be relatively easy.

The only flame in the night, it’s hard to see without my flames light. A candle that has burned through, I just want to go back home to you.

The journey to our life partner can be long. You do not have to be completely healed to meet your life partner, but you must, at the very least, have enough self awareness to maintain a long term relationship. Hopefully, with your karmic soulmates, you learned effective communication, how to set and respect boundaries, compromise, compassion, vulnerability, understanding, intimacy and connection.

By this point, you have hopefully learned how to reach, and how to respond.

We must remember here, every ending is a new beginning. With the lessons of the karmic soulmates behind us, we begin to learn new ways of existing.

We may even bring new soulmates into the world; familial soulmates.

With these soulmates, we must pay attention to our own shadow side, so we are not transferring our trauma onto our children.

In this system of soulmates, we learn how to grow, not just as individuals, but as a unit. Teaching, and learning, from each other.

In this system of soulmates, we learn to manage the health of the unit, by managing our own health.

This unit also acts as a cycle. A lot of the lessons you learn with your romantic soulmates were given to you in childhood, from your original soul family. You continued this cycle into adulthood, learning your own lessons, coming to your own conclusions, taking whatever lessons you think it is important for your new soul family to learn. The cycle of life continues, in unison, tiny photons, always changing, never still.

By this point, hopefully you have come to terms with how everything unfolded in your life, and understand why it happened the way it did.

I hope you enjoyed this piece. If you are single, and, with this knowledge, are ready to call in your divine counterpart, then this reiki video is for you. May you go into this experience excited and ready for new love, new lessons, and new opportunities.

Disclaimer:

Reiki is in no way meant to replace traditional medicine. I aim to facilitate mental, physical, and emotional healing through a series of techniques that target the energetic root of the viewers problem. This is how reiki works. Reiki can never cause someone harm. You are always safe throughout my healing sessions.
Through relaxation and mindfulness, the human body’s natural healing processes are strengthened and accelerated.

Let us heal now, friends. Remember, you don’t have to go it alone. You are never truly alone. We are all one soul, perceiving itself from different angles. Join me on this healing journey. Let us learn to love.