None of our cosmetics have been tested on animals. We didn't have to because all the ingredients have been previously tested on tens of thousands of helpless creatures. Just so you could feel good about yourself for no real reason.
Subscribe now or this crate of puppies will die today and another crate full will follow them into the dark abyss/industrial blender tomorrow. The day after that I'm not sure about. I don't think I'll have enough puppies left because the animal shelters and pet shops are getting suspicious. Before anyone gets outraged remember you could stop this happening so who is the real monster here? It's me obviously, but don't let that stop you subscribing.
We live in a rapidly evolving world. Things are changing at an ever increasing pace which makes it hard to keep up with the latest things. This time last year who would have thought that it would become not okay for men to sexually harass and rape vulnerable women? Yet here we are a year later and, while nothing much will actually change, Hollywood has taken a good long look at itself in the mirror and decided it looks great in black. How this will affect the status of women in society we can only guess. My own guess is that fuck all will change but a lot of people will make angry noises all over social media while doing nothing constructive. Who could have predicted that? Unless it's every rational reasonable person with a grasp of the facts and a non-binary view of complex issues. Those who have witnessed every major social media storm ever and understand that in a few weeks from now there'll be something else they are angry enough about to Tweet/Instagram/Snapchat. Forget those Chibok school girls who were kidnapped and sold off as wives to middle aged men. That's old news now. In fact, as it's over 2 years ago the internet has forgotten them completely and moved on to far more serious matters like an old man calling a young woman "honey".
He deserves it the misogynistic fucker. While it's okay for an old lady to call a group of men boys it's actually an atrocity for any man to call a group of women girls. This might seem illogical, that's because it is. We must never forget however that preventing one old man from using a subjectively wrong word is far more important than housing the homeless or preventing sex trafficking. They'll take care of themselves at some as yet indeterminate point, long after people never have their feelings hurt with words again. We'll get there eventually by continually taking offence at the words used by those we hate for whatever reason. At the risk of triggering people let's have a look at "honey" again. Sorry about this but sometimes we have to do the distasteful stuff. Isn't it about time this provocative term was consigned to history. Thankfully the honey bee is dying out across the globe so this will help. Oops, sorry again, should have put a warning sign up about the use of this disgusting term. Rest assured we won't be making that same mistake again. As we stated the H-word bee will no longer be bothering anyone after it's extinct. Thus literally quintillions of lives will be saved the horror of ever being triggered by this aggressive swear word. Oh yeah it's definitely an offensive swear word.
If you've been triggered by anything within this post we apologize profusely. We understand that the best way to confront injustice is to turn a blind eye to it except where triggering is concerned. Those vital discussions we should have can be prevented from ever occurring if we refuse to accept there are alternative ways to look at everything. So we can fling hurtful epithets at one another instead. Once we've demonized these people things will be perfect as long as we put laws about hate speech in place to prevent them from ever speaking again. It's common sense really. Once we outlawed murder, rape, pedophilia and recreational drug use they disappeared without trace and the world was almost perfect except for that bit over there where all the news comes from. Hatred wins if we don't hate it enough.