Creatives are you having problems coming up with radical new ideas? Why not try having them beaten out of you with a big club? We can guarantee you'll be amazed at what new concepts you'll come up with in a very short space of time.
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(All image rights belong to Thebullshitcard.com)
I don't think anyone can argue with the fact Hitler has a pretty dubious reputation even by the standards of social media. I'm okay with that. The stupid idiot became a vegetarian so he deserved all he got. All the others like Himmler, Goebbels and Heydrich only have themselves to blame for their fates. Fraternizing with a vegetarian has consequences, which is only fair. They made their beds so to speak. However there have been a lot of innocent victims of their crazy ideas and actions. Some of those victims were people, so I understand. However it's not them I feel for. It's a bit late anyway they are all dead now. If I was to feel sorry for every person who has died I wouldn't have time to do the important things in life like spit on homeless people or practice my baby and chainsaw juggling act. Which is a pain because if I don't get it just right I go through a lot of babies and they can be expensive. In the sense that it takes a lot to clean one off my chainsaw.
Hitler and the Germans are responsible for a lot of awful things though. The worst, by far, is the bad reputation they've given to wars. Prior to their evil actions there were far more wars and they were all a lot better than the wars we get today. Hitler was involved in the First World War and I don't think it's any stretch to see that Adolf is entirely responsible for the undeserved bad reputation trench warfare has today. A succession of negative images has spoiled what was a fantastic basic concept. In these safety conscious, nanny state times a lot of spineless kill joys will point out the huge death toll involved in all this fun. Forgetting the fact far more people survived it than were killed in total. My great grandfather is all the proof you need the risks of heavy artillery and trench warfare have been exaggerated. He served on the Western Front from 1915 until the Armistice in 1918. Got through it all with barely a scratch. The fact all four of his brothers are scattered across large parts of Flanders doesn't disprove my point.
Thanks to Hitler and a couple of minor world wars, warfare has gained a very bad press and a poor reputation. This isn't fair. If you look at the history of mans attempts to kill each other in huge numbers you'll see that up until relatively recently war was a very popular spectator sport. The crowds couldn't get enough of it. During the American Civil War people would travel all day to watch a good battle. There was nothing on TV and the internet was all dial up back then. I expect the more technologically savvy would have started to download a movie or streaming service then pop over to Gettysburg for the weekend. Take in a bit of the battle then head home to watch GoT, with special emphasis on the battle scenes. At least with a war you don't have to endure all those naked scenes in between the bits you like.
Another great thing about a battle, or war, as a spectator sport is that you hardly ever get pitch invasions during the game. It's incredibly rare that some drunken loon takes off all their clothes then runs onto the battlefield waving their underwear. You can bet they don't get any wardrobe malfunctions during the half time show either. So the advertisers will love it. The one down side I can see is that old, old problem with war that gets a lot of people very upset. The swearing. There's really no need for language of that sort during a war, I think we all agree on that. If we could get this flaw sorted out I can see no reason why war won't become popular again.
I expect some of you may have seen the tiny problem with this concept. Sure war was a great spectator sport up until it lost popularity, because of Hitler and his Germanic friends. Since then though the ugly problem of drugs in sport has arisen. How are we going to test all those war athletes for drugs some will ask? This may be controversial but I think we should simply let the participants take all the drugs they like. If we allow everyone the opportunity to cheat it will create a level battlefield. Besides which nobody will be able to complain if the guy with both his legs blown off tests positive for morphine. Another major advantage of the sportification of war would be that there would be far fewer unhappy losers, given the fact most of them will be dead or too seriously injured to worry about their defeat.
At some point the introduction of a league system would seem appropriate. Although I can also see that having seeded teams and a knockout system would also be a popular with the audience. Once we've got it up and running we can do some research on that and thanks to Facebook and YouTube et al we'll have all the data we need. Won't have to rely on focus groups and test viewings to crunch those numbers. Ticket pricing would also be tricky initially. Back in the old days it was free to anyone who bothered to turn up to watch the slaughter. Now we'll need good seating and a ticket pricing structure. Corporate boxes are where the money is though. I'm pretty sure we could all name at least a hundred global corporations that would be more than happy to sponsor these wars and fork out for executive suites at the best games.
I don't know about you but I'm extremely excited with the prospect of bringing this back. We all know it will make money. You only have to look at the news and the interweb to see that violence sells and horrific violence sells even better. There is no atrocity known to man that the sheeple won't click on. Selling the advertising slots will be child's play to, given the weapons industries inability to take advantage of either the TV networks or social media. They'll be all over this and as a result we will get the opportunity to see brand new weapons systems in action. Now all I've got to do is polish this up a bit and create a good PowerPoint presentation which I can also use to obtain crowdfunding. This time next year we could be running competitions to win free tickets to the war of your choice. Imagine that. Then imagine you've landed naked in a nettle patch before crawling through thorns then swimming half a mile along a vinegar and lemon juice river. Which would you prefer? Free tickets to a war sure look good now don't they. Never forget that.
👍 a-0-0
You are hilarious dude! Not bad for the 3rd tallest building in Albania. Makes me wonder how funny the tallest building is! In all seriousness though (and this is actually not a laughing matter), the @a-0-0 user you upvoted in the comments here is a spammer (see the -6 reputation?). This spam account spams comments without reading or even upvoting posts in hopes of getting upvotes. Obviously it is up to you to upvote who you want to upvote, but I would personally recommend not upvoting spammers. A lot of those accounts are actually part of literal "comment farms" (and again, I only wish this was a joke) - tons of fake accounts all controlled by one person through automation, spamming comments across the blockchain and relying on the naivete and goodwill of users to upvote generic nice comments (and funneling all the income back to the farm controller, with most taken off platform and a portion sunk back into creating new spam accounts).
Cheers - Carl
Thanks for the heads up and your appreciation of my random ramblings.