Can there be two queens in a kingdom?

Can there be two queens in a kingdom?

And no, I'm not talking about polygamy here.

It’s a phrase that perfectly sums up a dilemma rooted deep in Indo-Pak culture — the silent power struggle between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. The mothers of sons, for generations, have been taught that their place in their sons’ lives is supreme. They’ve raised them, loved them, sacrificed for them — and now, they expect to remain the “one and only queen” of his heart and home. It’s not entirely unjustified from their perspective, but it creates a ripple of conflict that often never truly ends.

I’m not generalizing, but let’s be honest — this mindset still dominates. Even today, I hear stories of women silently breaking down under emotional pressure, trying to coexist in an environment where their individuality is constantly tested. Husbands, more often than not, choose the easier path — letting things be, believing their wives must treat their parents like nobility.

In many households, the elderly — though fully capable — refuse to lift a finger once a daughter-in-law enters the scene. Cooking, cleaning, serving, smiling — it’s all her domain now. The “queen mother” retires, and the “new queen” is crowned, but only to serve, not rule.

Even modern families with separate homes and househelp aren’t entirely free from this. When parents visit, they expect the royal treatment — the privileges of guests, the authority of family. And the daughter-in-law? She juggles respect, responsibility, and silent rebellion, wondering when this unspoken hierarchy will finally shift.

My dad always says, “Two women never stay in peace under a roof.”
And honestly, there’s some truth to it. As he puts it, “Just like the sun, there should be one woman in the house.”

Mothers (from son's point of view) will always be their Moms, and MIL (from DIL's perspective) will always be MILs — both personalities of the same person are polar opposites. You definitely need huge patience to have them both together under one roof. It becomes a balancing act, a constant juggling between emotions, loyalties, and unspoken expectations.

Perhaps it can only work if both women are altruistic — willing to compromise, empathize, and let love rule over ego. Again, a hypothetical and an impossible scenario. My suggestion (or rather, my dad’s) is to have one of them (the queens), with you and the other nearby — a peaceful deal for everyone involved.

But then again, not everyone has that luxury. Circumstances, finances, and family expectations often make such arrangements impossible. So what’s the solution then? Maybe it lies in mutual understanding — in redefining boundaries, respecting differences, and realizing that love doesn’t diminish when shared??? I don't know!

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What do you think?
Have you seen such dynamics in your surroundings — in Pakistan or elsewhere?
Do you think the mindset is truly changing, or are we just repackaging the same traditions in a modern frame?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, experiences, and even disagreements.
Let’s talk about it — respectfully, openly, and maybe, just maybe, with a little hope for change.