COURAGE Is Required To Save A Troubled Marriage

COURAGE IS REQUIRED

Their counselor told them: “I’ve never seen a marriage in as big a mess as yours that ever made it.”

How had things gotten so bad? They had ignored the impact that stress, unforeseen hardships, and frustration with each other had made on their relationship. Over time, the cracks between them had grown wider and wider, to the point that even their counselor held out little hope for reconciliation.

Truth be told, no one knew their marriage was so far gone. Each day, they put on a mask for the world and projected a good marriage, a strong marriage, a Christian marriage. Underneath it, though, there was turmoil, resentment, and emptiness.

What does it take for a couple in such dire circumstances to find help?

It takes courage.

This husband and wife needed courage to step forward into their pain and to address their problems head-on. For the wife, the long, slow turn toward recovery began with her first courageous step: commitment. She decided, “I will get help. I will do what God is calling me to do.”

On a trip to Israel, she wrote down the awful realities of her broken marriage on a piece of paper, and took it to her Pastor and his wife. She was trembling at the thought of opening herself up to anyone, including trusted friends. Still, she pressed ahead. She handed them the note and simply said, “Just pray for us. We’re on life support, and we need your prayers.”

When she later called her husband to tell him that she was reaching out for help, she feared that he would refuse to participate. To her surprise, he said, “You know what? Let’s get help together.”

Even though their counselor had never seen a marriage survive that had been in as deep a crisis as theirs, Their relationship did survive!

You will learn, as you read this, that their commitment to change was just the first courageous step. They say there are seven steps to COURAGE:

C – Commit to change

O – Overcome obstacles

U – Uncover your true self

R – Replace worldly lies with scriptural truth

A – Accept the things you cannot change

G – Grasp God’s love for you

E – Embrace a life of grace

I loved our conversation with them in the office, because they were refreshingly honest about their struggles. They actually discovered what many couples struggle to understand for themselves: if both spouses are willing to get help and to surrender their marriage to God, their relationship can not only survive, but thrive.