Familial Healing

As Mexican American I don't know if I can ever detach my personal well-bring from that of my families. Maybe, on some level, this is true for everybody.

Usually when I'm not feeling well or feeling disconnected from people around me, it's because I am feeling lots about family and not working through the complexity of feelings. I mean, they don't live near me so it's kind of easy to forget that they are the ones so deeply affecting me.

While everyone is growing individually in their own unique way, the strain in family relationships grows. Generally, I see the roots of all the conflicts and fights, and heart break stemming from places of clear misunderstanding. This is painful because, at least from my vantage point, these divisions don't need to exist.

Last week I sent this message to my immediate family members:

"Hey everyone. I'm inititaiing something that most of you have voiced desire for in the last few months. I really want to find more consistency with you abd bring more conversations into the open. I think it could be really important for everyone's sense of personal well-being and growth. I know this is true for me.

My initial thought would be to talk via video or phone conference every 2 weeks for 2 hours. While I think we all bring a lot of perspective and insight, I would seek to find someone to help guide us through our conversations. For the sake of keeping this simple and getting into more details later, please reply with "yes" or "no" and I will coordinate things from here onward and ask for support however it's needed to get this started."

The first response was from my younger brother, Alex. It said, "fuck yes."

Upon receiving those words I started to bawl. Seriously, tears just streamed out. It struck me... Damn, as much as I thought I was maintaining healthier family boundaries (I have in a lot of ways) I am still so intricately tied and affected by them.

My brothers response was indicative of the longing within all of us and it signaled to me how deeply I've been wanting to talk with my family, in the eyes and ears of everyone.

I've been extremely detached from my intuition the last month and my sensitivity and connection with my emotions. Damn, this family stuff is real and I'm no longer willing to be passive in this thing that is so important to me.

A good friend of mine, a licensed MFT, decided we are going to start a family leadership group... A group for people who want to be action oriented and in it together in efforts to foster familial healing.

I though, damn... Everyone in my family probably has at least one great idea for what would contribute to our family being healthier. What if everyone simply picked one and led the charge in making it a reality?

These are just some thoughts and dreams springing forth fro great longing.

What's your relationship like with family?