Character Development in a Child

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The above plant has been staked - it is done to provide support to its stems.
I remember this happening alot on our farm and i could ask my granny why they were doing it - he would always say that it is done so that the plant or tree could grown upright or straight.
It was normally done when the plant was still very young because then you could bend and position it to the direction you wanted, otherwise you would have a tree forcing itself in your bedroom!

How do you develop character in a child?

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Character is the mental and moral qualities distinctive in an individual, it is how someone feels, thinks and acts. This is what defines who you are as a person.

"I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." - Martin Luther King

I once remember having an argument with some of my pals about what a child is! Some were wondering how you would quantify a childs being, since in comparison to the size of a grown up a child seems soo small. And so the questions were - Is a child fully developed? Does a child have feelings etc? We concluded that a child is a complete human being with all the emotional and physical capabilities commensurate his/her age, size and gender.

Meaning that there are stages of growth and development in a child. Our rites of passage in the Kenyan context is birth, puberty, marriage, having children and eventually death. These stages had age brackets and on each of them certain relevant topics were introduced to prepare you accordingly.
Eg you could not be taught about sex while you were still very young and you could not be taught about marriage while still at puberty. A time would also come that needed you to prepare for death and plan a transition.

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men

Samaki mkunje angali mbichi is a Swahili proverb that means 'you bend a fish while its still wet/fresh' in English. This basically means that Children should be given guidance early in life! Some principles that he/she should follow. There are different types of character by definition but today we will dwell on the basic moral character or virtues that child should be taught while still very young.

• Honesty
• Integrity
• Fortitude
• Loyalty
• Empathy
• Good behaviours or habits

While it's always a daunting task to teach these things to very young kids, it should be understood that they mostly learn by watching your actions and behaviours and trying to imitate them. There was once a young boy was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, his answer was shocking and amusing (because it was unbelievable to expect he would say this) at the same time, that he wanted to be a maths teacher and be beating his wife! Well, guess what, his dad was a maths teacher and he was fond of smacking his wife. This is the behaviour that his own son had picked from him!

• You are kind your child will pick kindness
• You are fair your child will pick fairness
• You are cruel your child will pick cruelty
• You are bad your child will pick evil

You are the dominant source for your child to learn and either pick good or bad behaviours.
I say dominant because you are not the only source!

Be mindful of what your child is

1. Watching - in terms of TV programmes, music videos cartoons some of this are intentionally exposing kids to pornography
2. Listening - some music and people are outright vulgur.
3. Video games - most of these promote murder and theft, there's alot of violence!
4. Reading - some materials are very sexual in nature.

The effects of exposure to these is catastrophic and its causing alot of damage to kids!

how early you ask?

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I believe while the child is developing in your womb! Yes! Scientific research shows that your baby will start to hear from week 23 - 27 weeks. He gets used to voices and music they have heard in womb and he may respond to sounds he's heard before birth by appearing more alert and active!

• You could affirm your child and speak greatness, love and kindness.
• As a father, you could treat the mother with care so that you can transfer positivity to your unborn child.
• You could also eat healthy and try to exercise a little and not poison your body with drugs and alcohol!
• You can attend the necessary checkups and appointments to ensure a healthy child.

spare the rod ans spoil the child

And i do not mean that you pick up a rod and smuck the kid when he misbehaves! No, i mean coming up with effective ways of disciplining your child when when he strays out of the path. Because it's not always, no matter how hard you try a child is still a child and you do not expect him to be 100% perfect, he will want to experiment and explore but you been the grown up handle it in a sensible and sensitive manner.

Thank you for reading!