Today I Attended First Time Indian Wedding, I’ll Never Forget

There’s no longer much else that excites a foreigner in India quite just like the idea of attending a huge fat Indian wedding ceremony.

Ask any traveller to India to proportion their need to-have reports and that i’m nearly sure that attending an Indian wedding ceremony would appear within the pinnacle three. We need to study all of the captivating traditions, we want to bounce to the first-rate Hindi wedding songs, we need to dress up in Indian clothes, we want to taste the surprising unfold of food and we want to apprehend simply how a wedding can final 3 days!

He invitation got here from a lady cousin of my friend from London. My friend had related the 2 people once I first moved to India and even though we had good intentions of assembly up, we hadn’t but gotten round to doing so. So whilst she sent me a message pronouncing, “I’m getting married next week and i’m inviting you for it” — after my preliminary reaction of jumping up and down with pleasure i was touched to have received an invite regardless of never having met her face to face. And over again i'm reminded of the warm temperature and inviting nature of India.

Sensing that i was manner more excited than I in all likelihood ought to had been, she told me that it was going to be a small affair and said that not like weddings in other states this was going to be relatively low-key. South Indian weddings, she explained, are a lot extra ‘serious’ and generally tend to take vicinity at some point of the day so I shouldn’t expect a grand birthday party.

She also confided that her husband-to-be’s parents might now not be coming. I hesitated to invite why but quite overtly and count-of-factly she explained to me that they did no longer agree with their marriage. Upon look at of her astrological sign, the parents had found her to be an unsuitable match for their son.
This changed into the first time I had heard whatever like this and it brought on me to mirror on how exclusive attitudes are to marriage in India then what i'm conversant in in my own culture.

All through the build up to the wedding day i used to be frightened and full of anticipation (each person would suppose that it turned into my very own!) I had such a lot of questions. Might the own family individuals assume that i was gate-crashing their special day? Could I be welcome at this type of personal circle of relatives occasion? Would it be disrespectful if I took photographs? Do I appearance stupid in my saree? Must I be showing my midriff? Is my present appropriate? Is my present enough? What if I do something disrespectful because I don’t know the traditions? What if I offend someone?? My mind become churning out all forms of concerns and fears.

So whilst the day ultimately got here, I arrived pretty early. Maybe it become the excitement that made me rush over, but the bride turned into still in her pyjamas. Extraordinary, I thought. I had usually wondered how long it took for Indian brides to appearance so splendid! Now I know that there's a cause for this and that i needn’t have rushed over at all. I used to be surprised by simply how a lot went into this part of the wedding by myself.
The bride instructed me to do my make-up and i told her I had already carried out it. She laughed at me and stated, “this is an Indian wedding, you haven’t done your makeup.” I nevertheless had loads to learn.

As soon as the bride changed into equipped she turned into whisked off right away (all of the guests were ready on her for about two hours with the aid of now) and the pujas (prayers) started out. I wasn’t sure if pictures became suitable in the course of the pujas, but as soon as I noticed anyone had their smartphones and cameras out keen no longer to overlook a moment I quickly joined in.

I discovered all of the specific traditions regarding all exclusive family individuals so fascinating. My preferred culture didn’t come till a piece in a while though when i used to be advised to ‘scouse borrow the groom’s shoes.’ It changed into my suitable fortune to be at the bride’s aspect and so in order for the groom to get his shoes returned he had to provide me a few money. I had not predicted to be receiving any cash that day, particularly now not from the individual getting married, and so in the beginning I felt uncomfortable with this. But with an audience looking me and egging me on, I had quite a few amusing attempting to barter a fair fee for the groom’s footwear! I came away feeling happy with myself. (as well as a little richer!)
I had been pre-warned about the food at Indian weddings and changed into concerned approximately how i used to be going to control as my saree became already so tight.

I used to be afraid that if I ate something it would burst immediately off me! Of course, that worry disappeared as soon as I caught sight of the lunch spread. To hell with my outfit woes! I thought. It all seemed too outstanding. The meals turned into displayed buffet style with waiters handy to serve you and it become an all-vegetarian affair. (fantastic for a veggie like me!)

with regards to lines and queuing in India, I’ve come to be acquainted with the ‘get in rapid or leave out out’ fashionable rule of thumb. I was relieved then to discover that the road for a buffet seems to be the only line in Indian society that receives its due admire. Anyone took a plate and patiently waited while the diner in front got their fill. It turned into oddly pleasing to experience, like a breath of sparkling air. I never idea i would appreciate waiting in a line!

Glad with my alternatives I sat down, set my plate on my lap and peered down on the mound of meals before me. Typically I wouldn’t hesitate to consume with my fingers, but the sheer scale of my component daunted me. I was additionally conscious that i was at a nice function and so I notion I had higher show some courtesy and get a spoon at the least or I could threat making a huge mess.

I used to be approximately to stand up on the lookout for a few weaponry to assault this ‘Mt. Everest’ of meals after I realised that I had a dozen or so pair of eyes, eagerly watching me with baited breath for my subsequent flow. I could nearly study what turned into burning in their eyes, what is she going to do? Is she going to use her arms? I knew I had two alternatives. I should get a few cutlery, or I ought to simply get caught in. So I took off my ring, tied my hair again and got caught in. I looked as much as catch a breath to peer all of these eyes loosen up into friendly smiles and enthusiastic head bobbles. Phew, I had made a great desire!

The opposite thing I appreciated approximately this wedding revel in became that it was a dry wedding. No alcohol. I recognise that this isn't always how all Indian weddings are. Alcohol at weddings isn't always forbidden, it simply depends on which country the families are from. Maximum weddings that I’ve been too in the united kingdom have a free, open bar, which every body takes complete benefit of. It approach, however, that the night typically ends with a member of 1 side of the own family having too much to drink and starting a controversy with someone from the other facet. Basically, it’s no longer a marriage within the united kingdom without some sort of own family drama erupting. Coming with this experience of weddings, i was very relieved that alcohol changed into off the menu.

One of the highlights of the day turned into the dancing. Before my Indian wedding ceremony experience I considered myself to be a pretty first rate dancer who became capable of preserve my very own on any dance floor. It turned into the only factor of the wedding that I wasn’t concerned approximately. I used to be quite confident that I’d effortlessly pick out up the moves and be high-quality.

Oh how incorrect became I! The shaking of the shoulders, the winding of the hips, the flicking of the wrists, I simply couldn’t maintain up! I was well and honestly out of my depth. My saving grace, however, was that not only did the own family no longer chortle at me, however they have been all so happy to educate me some new moves and rescue me in my time of need. Taking me below their wing, the self-recognition i used to be feeling soon disappeared and that i lost myself inside the hypnotizing beats and rhythms of the pumping music.
I did study another vital lesson, but. Irrespective of how appropriate you think you may dance you'll never be able to compete with Indians.

I suppose it’s a global difficulty for more youthful generations in a circle of relatives to be quizzed with the aid of the older generations at weddings about their marital status. Being an ‘outsider’ and no longer part of the circle of relatives, I thought that at this wedding i would as a minimum be safe from the thinking.

Once more i used to be incorrect. Aunties in attendance have been especially interested by my marital fame. Most regarded to be instead concerned for me that at almost 27 I had yet to be made a spouse. I tried to provide an explanation for that marriage had by no means genuinely fascinated me individually and that during my us of a it’s very regular to be this age and single. All of that, but, turned into lost in the language barrier and so I simply needed to be given the looks of sympathy and words of wish that they provided me and act like being unmarried disappointed me.

What I learnt from my first Indian wedding revel in changed into that every one my preliminary concerns and fears were a complete waste of time. I used to be so well-looked after through anyone and guided via each degree of the wedding that it didn’t remember that for the most component I didn’t recognize what become occurring. I was made to feel relaxed and free to enjoy the day.

What become also nice become that my attendance at the marriage appeared to be loved through the circle of relatives as a lot as I loved it! I were given the impact that the family have been not only happy to have me as their visitor, however they noticed it as an honour to host me. Additionally, my presence seemed to add another degree of enjoyment to the day as i used to be definitely unaware about the culture. I used to be so keen to get completely concerned in each component and so the own family had quite a few fun showing me a way to do matters and coaching me about their subculture.

I will’t look forward to my subsequent Indian wedding ceremony enjoy. I’m silently wishing for it to be a Punjabi one as I’m advised they're the most important parties of all of them!