Give Your Relationships Another Chance

Life is too long to be spent alone. Add a few lovely relationships in it and it instantly brightens up. Loved ones are certainly special and their love has the power to make your dull, dreary and ordinary life into a happy, special and extraordinary one. That being said, it takes a lot of effort and patience to ensure your relationship stays smooth and strong.

image credits

Life never remains the same- it is evolving constantly. You experience different situations and episodes that have different effects on you, your personality, your life and your relationships as well. These effects can be neutral, good or bad. While the neutral and good effects strengthen your relationship, it is the negative ones that can possibly strain it.The ups and downs that we experience in our life are a part of it and often inevitable. However, when these ups and downs affect our relationships, it is when we are in for a real challenge.

When a certain relationship goes through a bad episode, we are likely to lose hope on it. At times, we may even think of parting ways with that person completely and to never see him/ her at all. This feeling is quite natural because when you feel wronged by someone or you feel that the other person no longer understands you, you wouldn’t want to stay with him.For instance, when my husband and I went through a rough patch a couple of months back, we were fuming with fury and didn’t want to see each other at all. Both of us had our own reasons for being mad at the other and we were 100% sure that we were right on our respective stances. We even considered parting ways but a little voice in both of our hearts kept telling us to calm down and think rationally. (He told me later that he too didn’t feel like leaving me and something inside him stopped him from taking a bold step forward.)

We gave things a try and took some time to first calm ourselves down and then understand the other person’s perspective. It is not easy to control your rage and it takes a lot of strength and courage to listen to the viewpoint of the other person especially when you are sure you are right. However, since deep down we knew the other person wasn’t a real monster and we didn’t want to end our commitment, we set aside our differences and listened to other person. First I let my husband talk and when he had just talked for about 10 minutes, I understood what the problem was. I then placed myself in his shoes and I became better aware of his insecurities and problems.

When he stopped talking and felt calmer than before, I shared my views with him and then he gave me enough time to speak whatever was on my mind. Since I had gone an extra mile and listened to him patiently and even imagined myself in his situation to understand his problems, he did the same for me. By the time we finished talking, both of us were smiling and felt a lot better than before. Before we realized, we were hugging each other and felt closer to each other than before. At that time we knew we weren’t moving apart at all and we will stay together for a long time.

image credits

That episode made me realize that it takes a massive amount of patience and courage to maintain and sustain a relationship. Often, we build a relationship pretty fast even in minutes and we may even break it instantly. However, this is not how we can live a smooth, steady life. To live a good life and to ensure we are surrounded by loved ones, it is important to maintain the relationships we have with them and this is where patience and strength comes in. You need to be strong enough to endure a rough patch with a loved one and you need to be patient enough to let it pass if you want to stick with them for good.

Secondly, you need to be willing enough to put yourself in their shoes when your relationship with them becomes strained because unless you do that, you’ll never understand their viewpoint and you won’t be able to give your relationship another chance. You need to understand that the other person is a human being too and he/ she like you is suffering as well. If you aren’t happy, it is likely that he/she isn’t happy too. If something is troubling you, something may be upsetting them too. you need to give them a chance to speak and you must also understand that the person and his/ her viewpoint is shaped by the different life experiences he/ she has had. For instance, my husband was bullied when he was young, he didn’t have a healthy relationship with his father, his father married a few times which further strained their relationship, his mother passed away when he was just 15 and all of this made him succumb to chronic anxiety.

So when I listened to my husband’s point of view, I took all these factors into consideration and then analyzed his situation. When I did this, I realized that his behavior with me was a result of what he had gone through and he wasn’t really mad at me but was more upset with his inner demons. So when I accepted his problem and he accepted mine, we were able to mend our relationship and move forward happily.

Putting myself in the shoes of the other person didn’t just save my marital life but it also helped me strengthen my relationship with my son, my mother and my sister. I was upset by my son’s constant tantrums at almost everything. It was then that I started putting myself in his shoes and understood that it is normal for him to not accept things easily because he is just 3. I am 29 and often, I am rigid when it comes to accepting new changes so it is perfectly normal for him to do the same. When I gave him more time and space to adjust to things, things started to improve and his emotional well-being as well as my bond with him improved.

Similarly, my mother and I used to have lots of little arguments and disagreements over petty issues. Somehow I always believed that I was right and she was wrong. This did nothing much but strained my bond with her and I stopped seeing her often. The same happened with my relationship with my sister. When I didn’t meet them often, I started feeling lonely and it was then I realized that I needed them around to live a happier life. I decided to give our relationships a try and talked to them in detail. I then placed myself in their situation and examined the problem from their viewpoint and within minutes, I understood what the problem was.

I then went the extra mile and apologized to them and didn’t ask them to do the same. I became extra nice to them and started being more patient with them. (Did the same with my husband.) And within a few weeks, their behavior became super-amazing with me. When they saw me being more patient, they started doing the same with me and it has been months since we have gone through a rough patch.

Listening to the other person and putting myself in their shoes really helped me improve my relationships. Nonetheless, I believe there are certain people and relationships that cannot improve this way. If you have a relationship with an abusive person or someone who doesn’t let you breathe at all, you need to stand up for yourself. You must not let someone else take your right to breathe and live freely. However, if you know the other person is not a monster and you feel strongly about giving that relationship a try, please do that. Who knows a second chance may be the one event that will change your lfie for the better.

---

I hope you enjoyed this post and learned something from it. Do upvote it and follow me for more stuff on positivity and development. Thank you!