What losing the World feels like
Hey there Steemit family,I haven't been active here for a good few weeks doing what I love,but there was a reason behind this absence from my side. It was the start of the new year and I was really excited to celebrate two years here on Steemit with you guys but everything changed just a few days later. on January 5th my father passed away this was utter devastation for me. As a child who lost his mother at the age of 16 and not having any siblings my bond with my Father was very deep. I mean we used to share everything among each other he was my best friend and morale support for everything that I did in life. Right now writing this I'm trying to hold back the tears and special memories I had with him. I only had him in the world to rely upon and now he has also passed away to the other side. It feels so lonely living in this empty world.
The reason is also somewhat that he wasn't sick or something it was a sudden heart attack and within few minutes he died on the bed. By the time the ambulance reached our home there was no life, I had given him CPR for about 10 minutes pumping his heart praying to Allah that comes back to me but that is not how nature works. My tears were rolling down and dropping on his chest whilst I was pumping for a miracle to happen. It was when the paramedics arrived and told the news which I already knew but didn't want to accept that my father Dr. Muhammad Shafi Ul Bari had passed away. After hearing that I broke down it felt like numbness and I just wanted to forget everything that had happened on the day like a nightmare. I couldn't control my emotions and burst out crying the person that I wanted to make proud the most in the world wasn't with me.
The pain doesn't just wash away, it takes time to get used to it. It took me over a month to finally speak what my heart felt and pay my respect to the man who taught me everything in life. I had thought long and hard whether I wanted to write this blog or not. In the end I felt as if he would want me to do the things that I'm passionate about. So from now onwards I'll be here writing my experiences and stories and helping the steemit community in what ever way I can. This was something i needed to put off my chest in order to move on from this bottom point in life.
I lost my mother in 2004, to cancer. She was 59. Someone said to me then:
"She is no longer where she once was, she is everywhere you go because you carry her with you, in your heart and memory."
I think the same could be said with you and your father.
That's a beautiful quote and is true for everyone who has lost a loved one. Thank you
You're welcome. 🙂
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