I'm a patient, not a criminal

First of all, I thank the Honorable Panel of Judges for the opportunity given to me to deliver my personal defense memo.
Since I was detained, I no longer have the freedom to always be with my sick wife until my wife passes away. In fact, all this time I was the most understand and understand about the circumstances and condition of my wife.
My arrest made me not have a chance to explain my wife much. I can only pour out my feelings in the form of writings on a book.
The writings then I summarize the letter that I addressed to my wife. The letter became the most important part of my defense memo that I will read in this trial.
That afternoon, February 19, 2017, after I was invited to BNNK Sanggau office and finally they arrested me, around 2 pm or 2 pm, officers from BNNK Sanggau, police officers, and an ambulance unit took me back home.
They will evacuate my wife, Yeni Riawati. With a tight escort of officers, I was escorted into my house. I went straight to the room where my wife lay sick.
I kissed both cheeks and smoothed his hair with my hands. My waking wife asked me, "Why do you cry?" I tried to smile.
Holding back tears, I said to my wife, "Papa's friends from BNN will take care of Mama and find a cure for Mama's healing."
I then wiped the tears on my wife's cheek so she was calmer and not worried, but what happened inside my heart was in total disarray
Furthermore, the Honorable Panel of Judges, allow me to read this letter to my wife as part of my personal defense.
Mama, many things you want to tell Mama.
But Papa did not want to make Mama worried. Mama must keep the spirit to get well soon.
Papa knows Mama has been tired and desperate because of illness Mama suffered never healed, but has changed hospital, have consumed various medicine from doctor, go to various alternative medicine, and take herbal medicines.
However, it does not make Mama better, it just drains away all the savings we have collected together.
Papa did not want Mama to be sad. The important thing Mama should heal first. Of course Mama still remember the prayers we always tucked in when we pray the rosary together: "Our Lord leave everything to You. Show us the way step by step towards Your goodness that everything will be beautiful in time.
Mama, God finally shows His power. By the end of 2015, doctors managed to confirm the illness that Mama suffered. The doctor said that Mama suffered from syringomyelia disease.
According to doctors, the disease is quite rare. The only way to treat it is by surgery. However, Mama's condition is very weak. Doctors do not encourage Mama to undergo surgery. The risk is too great. Mom could lose her life.
In addition, existing equipment and medical personnel are inadequate. Doctors can not do much to treat Mama. Papa became very sad. Papa then collects information from various sources about Mama's illness.
One of the information Papa got came from the Worldwide Syringomyelia and Chairi Task Force website. Papa contacted the founder and got acquainted with him. Her name is Beth Nguyen. He lives in Northwest Georgia, USA.
He explained the ins and outs of syringomyelia to Papa. He also teaches and gives guidance to treat and understand the development of syringomyelia disease simply, even anyone who reads the guidelines can take care of themselves at home.
Papa actually wanted to introduce Beth Nguyen to Mama. However, Beth once explained that the disease that has been found since more than 200 years ago has not been found the drug until now.
The action of liquid suctioning and the installation of catheter shunts by way of surgery only make the patient feel comfortable for a certain period of time. The liquid will come back and the catheter shunt must be replaced again by surgery.
Papa does not want to make Mama despair because Mama's disease can not be completely cured through medical action. Papa was discouraged to introduce Beth Nguyen to Mama.
Armed with the knowledge that Dad can get from Worldwide Syringomyelia and Chairi Task Force, Papa can take care and know Mama's condition. Mama's condition is declining. Mama is getting harder to swallow food, even though Mama's food is Papa blender.
Mama's legs stiffen. Mama can not even feel when massaged or when Mama Papa's feet clean. The stiffness had even spread to Mama's left hand. Mama's hands become folded and can not be moved. Sweat on Mama's right also did not stop.
Urine in the catheter hose more and more often brings white clumps until the catheter is blocked. Mama even more rarely defecate (BAB), sometimes up to two weeks.
Mama is getting harder to sleep. Even if it can fall asleep, it's only briefly. Mama was easily startled and awakened. Mama always refused to talk to. Papa became very sad. In fact, the injuries in Mama's body continue to grow and getting bigger and deeper.
In the turmoil, Papa keeps trying to heal Mama. Papa finally found an article on a web blogger written by Christina Evans. She is a mother with two children living in the Delta of British Columbia, Canada.
Since 2013, she has been diagnosed with syringomyelia. For several years, he suffered from the syringomyelia he suffered. In fact, the medicine from the doctor with the maximum dose consumed is not able to cure the disease.
Later, he switched on treatment using cannabis extract. Since using cannabis extract, his life returned to normal. He can take care of his family and can work in one of the yoga studios.
After Papa managed to communicate with Christina Evans through his Facebook account under the name "Fighting Syringomyelia with Cannabis Oil", it turns out Christina Evans using cannabis extracts after getting a recommendation from the doctor.
One of them is from a doctor at the Fraser Medical Clinic in Canada. The content of the drug contained in the extract of marijuana then bring Papa with many scientists who have been researching the properties of marijuana as a drug.
Dr. Raphael Mechoulam of Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Israel, Dr. Vincenzo Di Marzo of Endocannabinoid Research Group Italy, Dr. Christina Sanchez from Compultense University in Madrid, Spain. Kirsten Müller-Vahl, MD from Hannover Medical School (MHH), Germany, Dr. Donald P. Tashkin of the University of California, USA, Dr. Aymen I Idris, MSc, PhD from the University of Edinburgh, UK, and many other researchers.
They explained that marijuana is indeed potential for treating diseases that are difficult or even can not be handled by medical drugs such as cancer, Alzheimer's, epilepsy, diabetes, schizophrenia, Parkinson's, arthritis, asthma, and even HIV / AIDS.
Steep Hill Laboratory, one of its laboratories located in Denver, Colorado, USA explains that the same chemical element as canabinnoid is also found in the human body that acts as a cannabinoid receptor.
Mama, how do you have to explain all this to Mama? When Papa tried to get permission and dispensation in order to get and use marijuana to treat Mama, nothing could help Papa.
The depiction of marijuana is so bad without the support of scientific research results so strong in our country, even cannabis became the number one plant that is prohibited from use and utilization.
Mama, among breathless breaths Mama increasingly difficult, making Papa finally decided to use marijuana to treat Mama. Because in this world, cannabinnoid is found only in cannabis plants.
The Steep Hill Laboratory, one of its laboratories located in Denver, Colorado, USA, explains that the same chemical element as canabinnoid is also found in the human body that acts as a cannabinoid receptor.
Jorge Cervantes, who lives in Israel and Edward Rhosental from America, both of whom work as horticultural cultivators, affirm that good cannabinoids used for treatment are those that come from specially treated cannabis flowers.
Lucky Papa can get guidance to treat organic cannabis plants from a married couple, John and Amanda Seckar, who live in Washington D. C, USA.
Papa is also assisted by Emily Grand, a botanical steel in Canada who chose a lamp for chlorophyll A and chlorophyll B in plants to work optimally.
Papa also get a guide from Rick Simpson to extract marijuana with the moserasi very simple and can be done at home, the process dekarbolisasi to change tetrahydrocannabivorin be tetrahydrocannabinoid as a psychoactive substance that serves as an analgesic, antibacterial, anticancer, antispasmodic, appetit stimulant, a bronchodilator , Neuroprotective, and bone stimulant.
Mama, Papa still remember at the beginning of January 2017, when Papa wakes from sleep in between books, holding a Lenovo tablet bedside Mama, Papa listened to Mama sang "Rainbow After the Rain".
Papa is very happy to hear Mama singing again after Daddy mixes marijuana on Mama's food or drink, adds a few leaves of marijuana to Mama's favorite omelette egg, and makes Mama a milk-avocado juice with fresh marijuana leaves and flowers.
Dr. Rachna Patel who works as The Medical Marijuana Expert in San Francisco, California says that milk can bind cannabinoids well and increase protein absorption. That's why our body is almost impossible to overdose marijuana because excess cannabinonoid will be stored in body fat.
Since Papa began to intensively give Mama a marijuana extract, Mama also started to communicate again smoothly. We so often share the story again. Mama remembers many of the memories we've been through together.
How we first met and started near the lectures at Sanata Dharma University, Yogyakarta, arranged the time of the lecture to attend church together on Sunday morning and followed the deepening of faith in Kanisius Yogyakarta in the afternoon.
How galaunya we when Papa no money to pay for lab fees in the department of mechatronic is very expensive and finally Papa decided to quit college because it has no cost.
Our struggle continues. Mama tells how sad Mama after we live together in Borneo having to leave Papa to resume English education in Magelang.
After Papa gives Mama a marijuana extract, Papa no longer need to buy Sanoskin Oxy for Rp 320.000, - for Mama's wound medicine which one bottle can only be used 3-4 days.
You do not need to drink aprazolan or zypas so you can sleep, do not have to drink ulsafate sulcralfate so you do not vomit and can swallow food, no need to drink Dulcolax or injection in the anus so Mama can defecate.
Mama does not need to take chemical drugs that are not effective to cure Mama. With enough cannabis extract, Papa could already see the smile on Mama's face again.
Mama, Papa will save a lot of money. Papa can buy a small bike for Samuel. Mama has never seen it, how agile Samuel controlled his bike? Papa is actually recording the video, but Papa has not had time to show it to Mama.
Since Mama can not breastfeed to Samuel because Mama is sick, Samuel continues to grow into a healthy and active child. As she slept at night, she only had to find a bottle of teatot of sweet tea and a black and white stuffed beef whose tail was worn out.
Mama know? The doll is actually just a gift from one of the children's food products bought budenya. Samuel can sleep soundly and sleep with his favorite cow stuffed.
Mama, Samuel now also can eat alone. He sat on the floor with his plate in his hand, stuffing a mouthful of rice into his mouth. Mama would have laughed if she saw her cheek that was clogged with rice sticking everywhere.
On May 28, 2017, Samuel's third birthday. Papa did not know who was accompanying him. Papa is still taking medicine for Mama, while Mama was no longer able to accompany Samuel.
Mama, there's actually something you want to say when Mama is taken by friends from BNN to the hospital. However, Papa was worried that Papa would be frank when it would make Mama shock.
In the past few months Papa has treated Mama using a marijuana extension that Papa owns. Papa does not know how to get permission or dispensation to use cannabis as a medicine.
At that time, Papa had been detained by BNN. Papa was then put in jail. Since then, there's nothing else you can do to help Mama.
Papa's efforts to provide syringomyelia treatment guidelines to doctors who treat Mama was rejected by a doctor who took care of Mama. They said they already had their own SOPs to handle patients, and Dad hoped they could be an additional reference to Mama's treatment. Papa can only surrender.
Who else can take care of Mama at the hospital, other than our first Yuven child. Papa could not imagine how Yuven had to go back and forth to the hospital to feed Mom while concentrating on reading the textbook she was carrying.
When his friends can study at home quietly to face the National Exam junior high school, Yuven can only dream to learn with his parents.
Mama, Papa apologizes for being only candid with this letter. We can no longer be together in this world.
We can no longer talk about this life or argue about tomorrow's plans.
Just before Mama's coffin closed, how much Papa had to strengthen herself because she no longer heard Mama's breath. Our togetherness and love all this time, will be an invaluable treasure to Papa.
Good-bye, my wife. My prayers and love are always with you.
Panel of Judges I Honor the Public Prosecutor I respect the Honorable Legal Counsel of the Registrar Dear Friends, family, and court visitors I love and be proud of, I believe and believe, in this trial the Panel of Judges I Honor becomes an extension God's hand in this world.
If I may appeal, I ask His Majesty to deliver this letter to my wife so that she can understand that I really love her so much that she can rest in peace for all eternity.
I also ask His Majesty's forgiveness for all the violations of the law that I have done so that I can continue to live with my two children.
Honorable Panel of Judges, This defense which I read is a form of unity of the same series with the defense that will be read and submitted by my Legal Counsel.
I thank the Honorable Panel of Judges, who have been listening to me. I apologize to the Honorable Panel of Judges and to all parties for my mistake and lack.
Finally, with humility, I appeal for justice that is fair to the Judges who are judging in taking this decision of my case.
Sanggau, July 19, 2017
Yours sincerely, Fidelis Arie Sudewarto.