It's okay to not be okay
I woke this morning, this year same as the last
A day of joy, the eve of Christmas
I woke this morning with the pain I can't feel
This kind of wound takes the longest to heal
I've made it one year farther
But still all I want
Is to see my father.
This time of year is hard for a lot of people myself included now. It was almost poetic that my dad passed Christmas eve. It was the day we celebrated Christmas with his side of the family. I was always with him that day. He passed at about 5am, and last year was the first Christmas eve we were apart although it felt like a blur. This year is technically the second year but is still so fresh.
I want the rest if you to know that although you may be upset, depressed, grieving.
It's okay to grieve
I also want you to know that its okay to be happy and excited for the holidays even if you are grieving. Fortunately we as humans are complex beings capable of multiple emotions at the same time as long as you allow yourself. I am excited for Christmas and love seeing the joy on my childrens face in anticipation, but also deeply grieving.
It's okay to be happy
For all of you hurting this season. I stand with you. You are not alone. If you are depressed, talk to someone you trust. Where I live... Suicide is a huge issue this time of year. Please talk to someone, please get help.
I am pretty down myself...you read my most recent post.
It's sad to lose a loved one... I kick myself in the ass for not crying not greiving when my grandfather passed... I was so young at the time.. BUt to this day i sometimes just collapse and cry.
We are men but we also cry and show emotion. We are humans.
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. Don't let the negative turn you down.. think of the happy times and that they will always be watching you and waiting for you on the other side. I love you all and all of you are my family <3
<3
I slept in today... was thinking about just this very subject exactly while waking up. I was framing it a bit differently though because I haven't actually suffered a loss on Christmas.
I myself was speculating that Santa Claus, somehow a spirit of joy might really be Chronos, devourer of his children, masquerading as a jolly man to increase maximum irony and pain. I was also wondering if there might be an increased suicide rate this time of year. Reading your post answers that question.
A complex holiday indeed... invoking both joy and despair at the same time. Sorry for your loss @saywha.
Hoe Hoe Hoe !!!!! Merry Christmas !!!
My daughter gave a speech one year where she told the youth crowd she was speaking to that "It's Okay to not be Okay" I will have to try to find the video recording of it. It was very passionate.
I know how you feel, (Somewhat) as my father died right around Christmas time when I was a younger kid. I kinda count myself lucky that I was only 7 so I don't have a ton of solid memories of him, but it's also unlucky in another way. I'm glad to hear that you're excited for Christmas though and celebrating it with your children and family. I hope you have a wonderful day today/tomorrow and get through it all okay, man.
Well said. I lost my mum a few days before Christmas 2009 and this time of year has been nothing but a painful reminder since. What becomes clear is how much of the year is taken up by this period. In the UK, shops start pushing Christmas in September and it feels like a quarter of the year is taken up by this one day. That is a long time to be reminded of something painful. No wonder people find this time of year hard.
Obviously no one can say anything to fill the void but I absolutely agree with you that anyone who struggles should find someone to talk to.
Stay strong @saywha and anyone else who finds Christmas hard. You are most definitely not alone.
My heart goes out to you my friend. This is our 3rd year hanging Roman's stocking and placing a new ornament on the tree for him. It hurts the same everyday, some days I am blessed to be occupied but he is always there as I look upon another child. All the kids take their stockings and ornaments when they move out and get married. One day the tree will contain just his ornaments. I'm not sure how that makes me feel.
About 75% of my christmas lights and one of my christmas trees were my dads. He absolutely loved going all out putting up lights and decorations. This year I spent about 7 hours putting up his lights and it was a healing experience
I hope you let the kids help. I also hope you got to have a nice long conversation with dad as you put them up. I know he was watching you, probably laughing the whole time as you carried on his tradition.
They're a bit young for the outside lights (which was my dads thing) but the lights on the tree and decorating they helped a ton :)
Strength to you my friend. Yet again, this post of yours just goes to show what a wonderfully giving spirit you have. At a time of mourning you still have the heart to think of others that may be hurting too. I do hope you'll have a Very Merry and Blessed Christmas! My kids opened up their pressies this morning and were squeeling with joy. Nothing better than that :)
Merry Christmas all the best wishes to you and your family @saywha