A letter to my neighbour

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                                Enough With Your Rotten Dog and Untidy Dog
                            
        Dear Mavis,

I have always felt happy living near to you. You are the most crazy neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud singing.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your dog is too rotten and your dog way too untidy. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a ladder

I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud singing from upsetting me. I demand that you take the fence down then paint the fence.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your loud singing increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a pleasant neighbourhood like Wysteria Lane.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the council and post photos of your loud singing on Tumblr.

Furthermore, I have close ties with the mafia and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
satochi