Can a mother in law be a mother ?

Today is a bad day. I don't know why, but I am not feeling good. The day has ended for others, but not for me. It is during days like this that I remember how I lost my first pregnancy which I so dearly loved. It will be ten complete years for the incident on March 27th this year and I have 2 lovely sons in hand, but I just cannot stop mourning over what happened on that day.

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I usually don't speak about this to anyone, but today I am feeling like I should. I was just a little over 18 when I got married and soon I discovered that I suffered from polycystic ovaries syndrome that made me skip my periods for months. Though it didn't bother me much at the beginning, it was my gynac who suggested that we should start planning for a family as the chances of me getting pregnant was 50%. My husband panicked. He wanted to be a father as quick as possible.

It took me 4 months to get pregnant, now when I look back, I feel the gynaec was a little under qualified to handle or counsel cases like mine. Anyways, I was happy and so was my husband. The doctor forgot to mention to my husband that I was too young and weak for the pregnancy and I needed complete bed rest. However, my husband used to leave me at home while he went to work and my mother in law made sure that I kept the house sparkling clean and cooked tasty food even when I could not keep my head over my shoulders for more than. 5 minutes all for that terrible morning sickness that went on not just in the mornings but all through the day.

If i mentioned to her that I was not feeling good, I would have to deal with a hour long lecture on how weak I was. However, I started bleeding on 24th morning when my husband was out and since mother in law was the only female I had access to, I confided in her. She being eccentric told me that it is normal and I need not worry or make a hue and cry about it as my husband would worry. That was the time before internet was available easily. It took 2 more days for me to bleed heavily and that was the time I told my husband to take me to the doctor.

The doctor said I had a miscarriage and also scolded me for being so ignorant. I should have visited the doctor when I saw the first spotting. Probably I had the miscarriage around 2 days earlier before I discovered.

I was devastated. I was depressed. I lost a year in graduation. It took me a year to recover until I had my first son in my hand. But, I still mourn that day. I can never forget what happened on that fateful day.

Life has been good, I don't trust my mother in law for anything now. She still has her expert advices when it comes to parenting and medicating my children, but I have had a lesson learnt. I just pretend to hear and don't take a word of hers into my brain.

Indian mother in law's can be terrible but then there are some who will prove me wrong.