Asking For The Right Reasons

One of the major undoings of many people is the belief that they are absolutely sufficient on their own and need zero input of others. Well, no matter how independent you have been made to look, you are still not an island. That is, a point must come when you will be in need of the input of others for you to access the next phase of your life or for you to get a problem solved. At this point, will you just sit and wait for the help to locate you or will you ask for it?

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The truth is, many people are too busy with their own engagement and they will not discern that you are in need of a particular thing. However, through asking, your request will be made known to them. One thing to understand is that, asking for assistance should not make one to become irresponsible, so you should always be cautious not to ask for the wrong reasons or just to fulfil your selfish desires. Asking for a right reason - like to be shown how to get something done, is to make you assumed more responsibilities.

When you see someone asking to be given a fish and another person asking to be taught how to fish, who will you feel the need to assist more? Obviously the one that is asking to be taught how to fish, because once he learns it, he will assume the responsibility of fishing himself and will not depend on you to keep giving him fish. This is what is meant by asking for the right reason. One thing to understand is that there is no shame when asking, as long as what you are asking for is genuine and it is for a right reason.

I remember when I was doing my industrial internship a few years back, I worked in a particular company. There was a task that, each time it came up, I would ask my friend to help me to do it. At a point, I discovered that it was getting out of hand because I did not know how to do it and if anything happens to my friend, the task will not be done. So on a certain day, the same task came up and I brought it again to my friend. At first, he thought that it was as usual, but this time, it was a bit different. I asked him to walk me through on how to get the task done myself. He gladly gave me a few tutorials and put me through on how to get it done. After I learnt it, I started doing it on my own and would not have to inconvenience him with the task. At a later time, he confessed to me that he was almost getting tired of doing the task. You see, if I had not asked rightly to be taught how to do it, I would not have learnt it and he would not be willing again to do it for me.

The truth is, most times, people know the difference between when you are asking for help because you want to shy away from responsibilities and when you are asking because you want to assume more responsibilities. The later is actually better and will almost always get the required help. However, there is one thing to note: asking, even though it is for the right reason, should be done at the right time. Imagine approaching someone for help after you had stepped on his toes, you may get an express NO.

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More so, do not let asking to be your lifestyle. If everyone remarks you for asking too much, they will start to avoid you. Let asking be a desperate strategy at desperate times and for the genuine reason. When you have fulfilled this, then you will not be sacred of a NO. However, if by any means you get a NO, it is still not the end of your life, so move on or try again.

Thanks for reading