The importancy of random encounters #1

Consider how many people we meet - or just cross paths with - every day when we step out of our homes.

This is a lot, right? And with how many of them do you establish any type of connection?

Most of the times, none.

I have been writing about encounters. About people entering or just passing through our lives and how influential that can be.

I think of three main types of encounters:

• The ephemeral ones, that happen when we are not paying attention and perhaps we never meet those people again
• The long-lasting ones that catch us by surprise and some people stay for a longer period of time
• The routine ones that happen every day, or every week like meeting your neighbor.

What all of them have in common, is that every single one matters. A lot.

The power of a #smile

Last Friday I went for a walk, and as usual, I was with my headphones and my mind on the clouds. I tend to smile often, especially when I am inside my bubble of thoughts and hopes, but that day I was quite serious. A bit reflective on future matters like what I want to do with my life for the next couple of years and where I want to be in the next 10.

I have recently moved to The Hague, after living for 2 years in Rotterdam, the #Netherlands. Both cities are pretty close to each other but the atmospheres are completely different. And I am very glad I took the leap of faith and changed environments.
Life as an expat, in the Netherlands, during #covid times, after moving to a different city can be challenging as hell. I cannot name how many things I need to overcome every day.
However, I also cannot express how glad and satisfied it makes me feel every day too.

What made me want to move was mainly the longing to be closer to the sea again. Which I have a deep and dependable connection with. And that alone already improved my life satisfaction 10x in the past months.
As a second reason to move, was that Rotterdam is a very cool city with lovely people, but I was missing something and I didn't really know what was it.

Anyways, I started to explain this because the first thing I have noticed before and after moving to Hague was the more laidback lifestyle that gives me the feeling that people here are more authentic with themselves.
I know this is quite a statement, but what I want to say is that when your life is more relaxed, you tend to have more freedom of mind to be and behave as you will, not depending on external approval all the time - my opinion, of course.

I remember the first time I went to do some groceries here and I saw a very old man, probably in his 70s, with a very serious face. I looked at him and his immediate reaction was to open a smile and start a small talk about the corona madness. Immediately I smiled back and glimpsed his arm, which was an arm full of old tattoos that told me that guy must have been a mariner or something like that in his youth. And then I was like "Woow! I didn't see that coming", and felt immediately connected to him somehow.

And I took that smile as a lovely and warm welcome to the neighborhood. And so it was.

Back to last Friday, when I was 'seriously' walking on the streets with my music on, I saw this guy - an older guy about 50something, walking next to his girlfriend, and he was a punk. Still carrying his style and attitude I could spot at a distance. (For those who can't imagine, I had a purple mohawk at some point in my life). We were walking opposite directions and then we exchanged some glances and so he gave me a timid but warm smile, followed by his girl's too.
On that same day, there were other smiles exchanged, and that is not the point.
The point is that the first one was completely unexpected and necessary to take me out of my loop of worries, it brought me back to reality.

Also, it made me realize what I have been missing all those years. Random smiling between strangers can make life much happier, actually. And this tiny thing makes me now feel at home.

This text isn't about smiling at strangers - which I highly recommend though, but about how these experiences I narrate had a much deeper meaning to me than just random smiles. These people I might see or might never see again gave me much more than they could ever imagine, just by the 5 seconds we crossed each other's path.

I have some amazing stories of random encounters that proved to be much deeper than just random at a later stage. Like how I got a job because I helped someone crossing the streets, how I met a random guy in Amsterdam in 2011 and 5 years later we bounce into each other in Sao Paulo, a tiny village of 11mi inhabitants, how I have been only twice in Leipzig and both times I met the same couple who was also there only for these same dates, how a cigarette buddy at a rave became later a business partner, so on and so forth...

What I have learned in the past decade is that you can never disguise or think encounters are meaningless. You never know what is next in life and sometimes, some people have a very brief but very important message for us. Like if God is speaking to us through kindred souls. You just need to pay enough attention to the messages.

But to enjoy and make good use of these unseen opportunities, one must remain free of judgments and open.

Open-minded and open-heartened.

Every person has something to teach and something to learn.

What do you have to give?

Some people base their relationships on what people can offer them, but seriously, have you ever thought about what can you offer them? I see relationships as what you have to give to the world, not what the world can give to you. And if you know what you can give, just do it. A simple smile, as I said before, can have a much bigger impact on someone's life than one can ever imagine. So, why not? You have nothing to lose when you give what you have. (Remember the #miracle of multiplication?)

You are only losing if you try to give what you DON'T have.

So, the formula is very simple. No pretending, no hiding, no faking... just give what you have and life may return you some favors - through other random smiles or whatever you need on a specific moment. Some call it luck, I see it as the harvesting of your own attitude.

Light and love,

Sami