You Can't Change Others

Can you really blame those who say you can't change other people? Do you really believe that you can take a Muffin from one group and give it to another without changing anything in their thinking? I am sure some do, and it is an interesting point. But it also shows a lack of understanding of the human mind.


To change other people, you must first change yourself. Most of us believe we have control over all circumstances in life, but this isn't really true. There is always going to be a possibility for someone to get hurt. So, to say you can control what happens, is just like saying you can control whether you think before you act.

I am reminded of the movie "Fargo", starring Kevin Spacey. In the movie he has this conversation with his boss, which is very telling. He says he can change other people, because other people are willing to change themselves, if they think they can.

Then another man says, he has a family of five children who all have different ideas, and he says he can change them all, because he has a wonderful wife, and children, who are all very different. Spacey then says, "What about everybody else?" And his boss replies, "No, Mr. Spacey, everything is about everyone else except yourself." See, so what Spacey is really saying here, is that if you can change yourself, you have the power to change others.

Now I know that most people have some level of self-esteem, and even if they don't it's a good thing. It allows them to think that they can change people. They would have a much better chance at making whatever it is that they want to change happen, if they thought they could change themselves. However when they change themselves, they are also changing all those around them, because they are the only one who knows how to change himself, and no one else.

So if you really believe that you are great, then you might want to think a little deeper than that, and ask yourself some questions, do you think that other people need to change, or are they too fixed to change? Do you think that you need to change others? Or are you just going to change in order to change the world around you, and I am not sure if that makes you feel powerful or not, because it seems to me, that it doesn't seem to effect very many people, and yet, it does affect everyone.

So my question to you, is do you really think that the world would be a better place if we changed everyone for every little difference they brought into the world, as long as they were nice? What would happen if everybody was the same, and there was no difference? I really think that the only way to get anywhere in life is to think about what you can change, and what you need to change in yourself. If it's a difference in you, and someone else, then that's a problem, and you need to solve that problem, and that's the only way to go.


So the next time you think about somebody that you don't like, and you try to make them change or change like you would like them to, I hope that you can change your mind before you start doing things like pushing, pulling, and pushing. Because if you think like that, you might create conflict in the end. When you push someone over to the side or pull them up, you are creating conflict. And when you pull someone down or push them up, you are creating a conflict. And that will never allow anybody to prosper in life.