An Unexpected Turning Point

Eating crow is never fun, but sometimes it needs to be done. For me, this is one of those times, so let me just go ahead and rip off the band-aid. This article is for steemit, and it's for the rest of my social network: friends, family, and social connections to whom I feel I owe an explanation - if only to try to alleviate the awkward curiosity that people would otherwise be experiencing in the coming months as they notice certain changes on my social media profiles or other places.

So here is the turning point. A couple weeks ago, my wife and I left our son at home and went out for dinner. At some time during the evening, I looked at her uncertainly and said, "I think I'm going to withdraw from the PhD program." It felt right as soon as I said it.

I started working professionally in IT in 1987, while completing my bachelors degree. During every job interview in the 1990s and early 2000s, although I may not have known what else to expect, I was always prepared for two questions: "What will you be doing in 5 years?" and "What will you be doing in 10 years?" My answer to the 5 year question was that I would complete a masters degree in computer science, which took longer than I had planned, but I eventually completed in 2006. And my answer to the 10 year question was that I would get a job in a technology research lab, and complete a PhD. That has been the plan for nearly my entire adult life.

So, I completed my masters degree in 2006, and started back for a PhD in 2009. By 2015, I had completed all required course work and qualifying exams, and my dissertation topic was approved by my mentor and by the university. Throughout most of 2016, I worked through the rest of the required approvals, until this quarter. In this quarter, I suddenly realized that my plan had already gone off course. I had never found the job I had expected to find in a research lab that would aid the transition from practitioner to researcher. A friend once told me that while I was pursuing the PhD, I needed to be ruthlessly honest with myself about my research. And this quarter was my time for ruthless honesty. In my current situation, my plan of 25 years is no longer the right plan for the rest of my life. At my age, and with my work experience, and with my complete absence of interest in teaching at a university: A PhD is almost certainly a dead end, so instead I will be awarded a second masters degree and call it a day. I probably should have seen it sooner, but I guess I wasn't looking. Why did I finally see it? I blame steemit.

It's not actually steemit's fault, but during the last year I have found myself, time and again, postponing learning about cryptocurrency and blockchain and mining and all sorts of cutting edge things because I needed to focus on school work. And this quarter it finally hit me that this is a complete reversal of priorities for my life situation. When I first enrolled in the PhD program, bitcoin had just emerged. Now, 7 years later, more than any academic degree, it seems clear that the blockchain is the future, so when I have time outside of work and family, I need to be immersing myself in this technology, not obsessing over APA formatting.

So, for the first time since forever, I am out of school, and I have no plans to ever pursue another degree. It's a strange feeling. One thing hasn't changed, though. I still love learning, and I intend to continue feeding my mind as much as I possibly can. I'm just changing the way I go about it.

And now that it's out in the open, for those of you who notice the changes, feel free to ask me about them or comment on them without embarrassment. Of course I am disappointed to give up on such a long-term ambition, but I think it's the right thing. As they say, time will tell.