What is the Difference Between Accepting Differences and Being Annoying?

You may be asking yourself "What does it mean to be accepting of differences?" This is an important question and one that I have found myself asking quite often over the years. You may even have a hard time accepting the fact that you do not believe in all people, cultures, or religious groups. But just why is this important?


The world is a place full of diversity. We are all a part of this vast universe that exists around us. Each and every one of us have an individual voice, a unique story, and a mission in life that no other person can tell. It is important that we each decide what our role in life is going to be, and if we are not willing to embrace all that we can from others and ourselves, then we are truly limiting ourselves.

If we are truly honest we have to admit that we do not know everything about every single person in this world. We are not all psychic or born with crystal balls. And while having no belief in those things does not mean that we cannot find hope or redemption or happiness in others, it does mean that we need to expand our comfort zone. We need to learn to be accepting of other people's differences and their uniqueness.

One way that we can do this is by accepting a difference in gender. Believe it or not, I had a client who felt very uncomfortable when her male partner brought a female friend home for the first time. Even though she had been raised to think that her male partner knew when a woman came home it still did not feel good to her. She said that for her it represented a new vulva for her, and she was not sure how to deal with it.

While I do not believe that this particular relationship should have ended, it is important to understand that there are couples in the world that do not accept a difference of this nature. How accepting are they? Well, I have a couple of clients whose response to the 'friend' issue is, "Of course I am accepting of this situation. It just happens to me sometimes."

Another couple in my office has two teenage boys who hate each other to death. The girl is very supportive and understanding, but the boy is being stubborn. He will not believe that he is being mean to his girlfriend. She is trying to make him believe that he is being mean to her, but it is not working. They are not able to come to an understanding and are sitting around the same table not talking, but rather arguing.

When we are accepting of differences in ourselves and others, we are more likely to create positive change and grow as individuals. Our relationships are more fulfilling and we create lasting relationships because we are more likely to be able to communicate on an equal level. We are also less defensive of the people in our lives and are more willing to help them. We accept their differences and find a way to communicate and connect with them.


Being accepting of your own self and others does not mean you are ignoring your own limitations or lack of ability. Rather it shows you are a compassionate person who is willing to set aside differences to focus on similarities and be willing to work with them. This is the foundation for building strong relationships and satisfying life.