Hard on Yourself When You've Failed - How it Leads to Failure and Emotional Pain

How many times have you heard that we should try harder, or that it's hard to give up, or that nothing great came from nothing? These statements are hollow, they are nothing more than arrogant statements that have no meaning. Have you ever failed at something you thought would be easy? If you have, and I bet you have, then you have also succeeded in teaching yourself to think and act for your own benefit. If you haven't, then maybe you should start learning how to fail quickly so that you can change your mindset and the way you view your life.


So many of us have a strong sense of self-esteem but a weak resolve when it comes to sticking with our plans and goals. The problem with this is that most of us know we want to make changes, but we don't have the willpower necessary to actually change. When we've failed many times, we stop trying, and we become hard on ourselves because we've convinced ourselves that we will never succeed. This is where failure starts. When you've failed many times, you stop challenging yourself, you stop trying to improve yourself and you stop considering the possibility that you might fail.

Once you've convinced yourself that you will never be successful, you will find it very difficult to achieve anything worthwhile. This is the reason why so many people fail with their businesses, their marriages, their careers, their relationships, and a plethora of other things. They're not hard on themselves, they don't push themselves, they don't look at their opportunities objectively, and they fail over again. The only reason that you're reading this article right now is because you're serious about changing the way you approach life. The next several paragraphs will teach you just how to do that.

Most people when they fail to make the mistake of trying to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps. The problem with this is that it's extremely difficult to actually pick yourself up when you've failed. You've probably made a lot of mistakes in your life, so to pick yourself up is to accept responsibility for these blunders. The problem with picking yourself up is that you have to think big. If you pick yourself up by your own bootstraps and fail to achieve any real progress in your life, you will end up being disappointed because you didn't actually accomplish anything.

The only way to succeed in life is to stop expecting to be able to do everything. The reason that most people fail is because they expect to be able to do everything. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "Do what you hate to do, the only thing that'll change your life." This saying is extremely true because if you hate doing something, you're not going to be passionate about performing it, and passion is the cornerstone of becoming successful.

Another common reason why people fail when they try to be hard on themselves when they've failed is because they focus on what they didn't do rather than what they did do right. Let me ask you this question: When was the last time you celebrated success? If you haven't done anything recently, then the chances are that you haven't. You celebrate failure, not success. This is a huge mistake, because it prevents you from seeing where you need to improve as an individual.

The people who live life to the fullest are the ones who don't let failure get in their way of living their life to the fullest. They allow failure to bring them closer to success. Failure gives them the opportunity to grow and become better human beings because they know how hard they've struggled. It also forces them to develop their ability to work hard because if they feel like they've failed, they know they can't give up.


Finally, hard on yourself when you've failed will only cause you mental pain. Think about this for a second: Have you ever heard the saying, "When the going gets tough, the tough leave the races?" Do you recognize how that statement applies to you and how it keeps you motivated? If not, I guarantee you that you will if you stop and think about it. People who have failed many times in life are the ones who keep replaying their success story over in their heads as they criticize themselves repeatedly. They're constantly telling themselves that they're just not good enough, that they can't catch a break, that they're just not good enough... over again.