My Personal Experience of Scientology - Part 2 / 我关于山达基教的亲身经历

 

(Continuing on from Part 1) 

During the next few weeks, we saw less and less of Joe as he was becoming increasingly involved with Scientology. This of course involved more buying up of courses and books. When we would meet up, he would always be exceptionally enthusiastic about giving us his latest update, though with a slight undertone of defensiveness should we try to put his group down in any way. We all decided to let it be for now and just listen to what he had to say.  

He would tell us how in one course he had attended, he and another new member would be put through a kind of training program. This required them to sit face to face for up to 6 hours at a stretch and remain expressionless and motionless. A bit like that game we all used to play when we were kids, you know, let’s see who laughs first. Except this time round, there was no laughter, just pure neutrality. If any one of them failed before the time limit expired, they started again from scratch. Joe would explain how difficult this was to do but how it must be achieved in order to learn how to focus 100%. This is what they were teaching him. I still never quite understood how that would with ones ability to focus, but to me, it sounds like it must been like plain mental torture. 

Another recollection of Joe’s was a speech that was given by a senior member of Scientology. The guy stated that positive energy was needed to get where and what you wanted in the world. So far, so good. But then he also claimed to have harnessed this energy to such a degree, he could actually manipulate his external environment. So, for instance, one time he was in a traffic jam and late for a Scientology meetup. He closed his eyes and willed the traffic to move out of his way so he could make it in time. Eyes open, the traffic literally parted in two halves allowing him to continue on his journey and make it there on time. For us, a funny little anecdote, but for someone else who already has a firm belief in Scientology and is much more willing to accept stories such as these, a little more worrying. However, tales like this were told, I believe, to provide a context for what was to come next. 

Money For Nothing 

About another month had passed by now and another meet with Joe at our local was scheduled. We were all at this point very worried for him and while not wanting to interfere with what his new beliefs were, we also did not want to see him get hurt. Late as usually, he joined us but now looking somewhat nervous and worried. After inquiring as to what the matter was, he hit us with a bombshell. 

The head team within Scientology had come to the Central London branch for a special visit all the way from their Headquarters in the UK, located at East Grinstead. All members had to attend, new recruits included of course.  

Now, they all sat around a table while the “captain”, as they would refer to main guy, gave his speech. Basically starting off with “Who wants to save the world? Show of hands, guys!”, he proceeded to try to indoctrinate all the new members into thinking the planet was going to hell and they were the people to save it. The other members were cheering and applauding at this point. Now, he threw a few badges on the table and asked the question I was just waiting to hear. 

“Who here can donate money to support our cause?” 

The new recruits being so riled up and filled with positivity began donating. I recall Joe mentioning three who gave almost a grand. We were dumbstruck and then completely floored by what happened next. Joe had donated £5000! Money I knew for a fact he didn’t have. He had borrowed money using a high interest credit card and given it to fight the good cause of Scientology. And what was given to them in return for parting with these large sums of money? A massive round of applause and a badge. Yes, one of those badges on the table. We were totally speechless for a few seconds. I couldn’t hold it in any longer and lost my cool whilst confronting Joe, asking him how he could be so stupid, but with that he promptly left and ignored me for a few days. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that, but I thought this was just going too far now. 

The Spruce Up 

Anyways, he continued on and we saw even less of Joe. Around two weeks later, we rang him to meet us on the weekend to which he replied he would try to work around his busy schedule. We agreed but that afternoon while we were all together, he never showed. We tried ringing him, but no answer. I texted him to ring me whatever the time was just to let me know if he was OK. So I left it at that, assuming perhaps he’d forgotten or something.  

That night, around 1am, I got a call from Joe. I at once enquired as to what had happened to him and if everything was alright. He was at the Central London Scientology building! When I asked why at this late hour, what I heard shocked me. He and a new recruit had spent the entire week painting the building, inside and out! From morning to night for the last 7 days. That’s why he had no contact with us all that time. I held my head asking myself am I dreaming? They had taken all those funds yet had no time to do it themselves or even hire someone to do it. I’m not even sure who actually paid for the paint itself. I calmly asked him why he was still painting there so late on a Sunday to which he responded he had to get it finished for when the head team arrive on Monday afternoon. Again, just pure disbelief, but what could I do? If I got angry, he would put the phone down, if I showed concerned, I’m cited as being against Scientology.  

So, I told him to get back to me early in the week to have a chat to which he agreed. I was just despairing and didn’t know what to do. They were taking advantage of his good nature and draining his funds. I had already had a talk with his family who were at their wits end with worry and I literally witnessed his mother beg me to help in some way. This was already a living hell for that family but the absolute worst was still to come.

Life’s Cruel Twist 

I remember I got the call early morning from a friend in our group. Joe had had an accident coming back from Scientology a few hours ago. I rushed to get changed and hurried to the hospital’s emergency ward to find out what had happened. He had apparently been riding his motorbike home and crashed into a taxi. His right kneecap was completely crushed as well as other breakages in various parts of his legs. He was currently sedated and luckily no critical injuries were sustained. Immediately I couldn’t help but blame Scientology for overworking him and tiring him out. In absolute shock at what was happening to Joe and his family, we returned home and planned to visit a few days later. 

When we did go back to check on Joe, I was greeting by his sister who was in floods of tears. She explained that the very next day after that accident, Joe had an epileptic seizure. This had never happened before. She went on to say that the doctors might now be thinking that even though Joe had been wearing a helmet at the time, he may have had a head trauma due to the impact and that they were presently running a CT scan to investigate further. One blow after another, this was turning into the ultimate nightmare. I didn’t know what to say other than comfort her and stand by the family with whatever they needed. She was tired and Joe would not be back until a few hours later so we all returned back home and gave them the space they needed at such a distressing time. We all waited impatiently for the test results. 

The following day, I got a phone call from Joe’s sister. The test results were in and confirmed that Joe did in fact have a brain tumour. From its size and shape, the doctors presumed the worst, cancer. My legs almost gave way. I burst into tears at the sheer horror of what was unfolding before me on an almost daily basis. The family were simply in pieces. 

A few more days later and their suspicions were confirmed. An inoperable brain tumour that carried with it a prognosis of only a few months at best. Joe was discharged from the hospital about a month later, though even with the aid of crutches was barely able to walk. The doctors informed him that even if he would have gone on to lead a normal, healthy life, he would never run or walk normally ever again. They attached metal rods into his kneecap and leg that would be there for good. One of the lowest points in all my life that I will never forget. But that’s just me being selfish. The despair and desperation of what Joe and his family were going through was something I couldn’t even contemplate or comprehend.   

Once the numbness of this devastating news had passed, we all focused on doing what we could for Joe. Because of the rareness of his tumour, it required a special treatment not available on the NHS. After further enquires, we found out the associated costs were literally in the thousands. The very last thing Joe and his family needed at this time after still being in so much debt as it is. They were left with no choice but to borrow a hefty amount from the bank and did eventually manage to get the tablets and medication Joe required to prolong his life and ease his pain, whilst naturally worrying about the repayments at a later date.  

At this time, he had tried various times to ring his Scientologist colleagues for help or information. I have a feeling he just wanted to hear a voice of support and compassion on the other end of that phone line. Nothing, nada, all his comrades supposedly trying to band together in a crusade to save the planet as a “family” unit were now nowhere to be found. Joe had outlived his usefulness to them all. 

Finding Peace through Real Love 

Though I didn’t ever bring the topic up again, he himself mentioned a few times of how let down he was feeling by those who he considered were almost like his new family at the time. He felt betrayed and hurt that he had made such an effort for them under the false pretence of some sort of brotherhood. Joe managed to survive four months after his diagnosis but sadly did succumb to this hideous disease. When he passed quietly on, he was surrounded by his “real” family and friends. That’s at least the one saving grace to this tragic affair and a final memory I’ll cherished with me forever.  

So, there you have it. I’ve recounted one of the hardest times in my life and one I’ll never forget. Although it wasn’t Scientology’s fault that he had a brain tumour, the destructive nature caused by their actions rippled throughout the entire family. They were saddled with paying back all the money for Joe’s treatment and the loan he took out for years after that. I’m sure his family will never be the same again. 

Even after reading the above, some people may still wish to try Scientology out for themselves to find out more or still attempt to defend them. I say that’s fine. People are free to live and do as they choose in this life as I will never stand to pass judgement over another person’s decisions that he or she makes. But know what happened to one of my dearest friends and the devastation it caused that affected not just one but several lives in the process. I also suggest browsing through the Internet to search for similar horror stories relating to Scientology as Joe is definitely not the only one person in the world hurt by this group by a long shot.  

And I hope you make the right choice in the end.

(Sources: 1,2,3,4,5)  

(继续第一部分) 

在接下来的几个星期里，我们看到乔的次数越来越少了，只是由于乔积极参加山达基教活动，这当然包括采购更多的课程和书籍。每次我们见面，乔总是热情地告诉我们关于他的最新消息。但每次我们提到山达基教，乔都很有防御意识。所以我们决定让乔做自己喜欢的事吧。   

乔告诉我们他参加的一个山达基教课程，是与另一个新成员一起培训。他们被要求面对面静坐6个小时，期间不能有任何动静或表情。这有点儿像我们小时候玩的游戏，看谁先笑！只是这次没有笑声，整个过程都非常严肃。如果在规定的时间内没有通过，他们得从头开始。乔解释说这是多么困难，但必须通过才能学会如何百分之百集中精神。这是他们教乔的，我还没有完全明白这到底是怎么运作，但对我来说，这有点儿像精神折磨。

乔的另一个回忆是参加山达基教一名资深成员的演讲。演讲者说，积极的正能量能让你到达世界上任何你想去的地方。他还声称自己有能力驾驭这能量，可以操控外部世界。举个例子，有一次他在赶往山达基教聚会的途中堵车。他闭上双眼，用意志驱使堵塞车辆移开。眼睛睁开时，车辆果然移向两旁，他得以继续上路并赶上了山达基教的聚会。对于我们来说，这是一个有趣的小故事，但对于乔这样已经坚信山达基教且愿意接受这样的故事时，我又多了几分担忧。然而，我相信这也为后来发生的事做了铺垫。 

被扔到海里的钱 

大约过了一个月，又到了大家聚会的时候。我们都有点儿担心乔，虽然不想干涉他的新信仰，却也不想看到他受到伤害。乔如常地来晚了，显得有些紧张和担心。我们关切地询问他发生了什么事以后，他扔给了我们一个重磅炸弹！ 

山达基教的重要领导从英国总部来到伦敦中心进行特别访问。所有成员都必须出席，当然也包括新成员。 所有山达基教成员围着一张桌子坐，他们称之为“船长”的领导人则在发表演讲。演讲的开始是这样的：“谁想拯救世界吗？举手吧，我的伙伴们!”，并开始向所有新成员灌输山达基教的思想：也就是现在的地球是地狱，只有他们才能拯救人类。此时，其他成员一起欢呼和鼓掌。这位领导人在桌子上扔了几个徽章，问了一个我一直等待着听到的问题:“谁能捐钱支持我们的事业？” 

新成员们的热情被鼓舞到了最高点，大家开始积极地捐款。我记得乔提到头三个成员各捐了近一千镑，我们都惊呆了。然而更让我们大跌眼镜的是乔竟然捐了5千英镑！我很清楚乔的情况，他根本没有这么多钱。这是他为了支持山达基教的事业，用高利息信用卡借来的钱。在捐赠了这么多钱以后，乔得到了什么回报呢，桌上的一个徽章! 几秒钟过去了，我们都说不出话来。我终于忍不住质问乔，你怎么会这么愚蠢？乔生气地离开了，并有好几天没理我。也许我不该这么做，但我认为他在这事上也太离谱了。 

美化工程 

自此以后，乔还是继续他的新信仰，而我们见到他的时间也越来越少了。大约两个星期后，我们打电话给乔约周末出来见面，但他只是说最近比较忙，但会尽量的。约定的那天，我们等了一个下午，乔都没出现。我们再次打电话给他，却没人接了。我发短信叫他回复，让我们知道他最近好不好。我猜想他可能只是忘记了回复。 

那天晚上约凌晨1点左右，我接到了乔的电话。我立刻询问，他到底发生了什么事，一切都好吗？他正在伦敦中心山达基教分社。当我问到为什么这么晚还在那儿的时候，我被自己听到的回答吓了一跳。乔和另一名新成员用了整整一周的时间油漆整座大厦，由内之外! 连续7天从早到晚，这就是为什么乔和我们这么多天失去了联系！我不禁仰起头问自己，我到底是不是在做梦？山达基教收取了这么多捐款却不能请人来干这活？我冷静地问他为什么周日晚上还弄得这么晚，乔说他们必须在周一下午教会领导人来之前完成。我再次感到不可置信却又无能为力，我能对乔说些什么呢？如果我骂他，他只会挂断电话。如果我表示担心，他会视之为我反对他的信仰。 

乔答应我下周再和我详聊。我感觉很无奈，却不知道该怎么办。我已经与乔的家人沟通过说出自己的担忧。 乔的妈妈央求我想办法帮助乔。这让一个好好的家庭陷入了困境，没想到的是更糟糕的还在后头。 

残酷的现实生活 

一大早我接到我们圈里一个朋友的电话，说几个小时前乔在从山达基教分社回来的路上发生了意外。我匆匆地赶去医院的急诊病房探望乔。原来他骑着摩托车回家的时候撞上了一辆出租车。乔的右膝盖骨破裂了，双腿多处有损伤。 目前他已打了镇静剂，幸运的是没有其他部位受严重损伤。我马上把这次乔的意外归咎于山达基教使他过度疲劳。这给乔和家人不小的打击。为了给他们一家人一些空间，我们几个朋友就回家了， 计划过几天再来探望乔。 

当我们再去看乔的时候，他的姐姐泪流满脸地告诉我们，发生意外的第二天，乔癫痫发作，这是以前从未发生过的。她接着说，医生现在推测即使当时乔戴着头盔也有可能由于很大的撞击力而导致头部受伤。他们目前正在进行CT扫描做进一步调查。 一次又一次的打击，这简直变成了噩梦！我都不知道说什么好，只能安慰她，问他们家有什么需要帮忙的尽管说。乔的姐姐当时很累了，而乔也好好几个小时以后才能做完检查回来。所以大家都各自回家了，焦急地等待着结果。 

第二天，我接到了乔的姐姐打来的电话。测试结果出来了，确认乔其实有脑肿瘤。从肿瘤的大小和形状，医生推测最坏的情况，也就是癌症。腿一软我几乎瘫在地上，眼泪也情不自禁地洒下。这几天几乎每天都是噩耗，这结果对乔和家人是怎样摧毁性的打击啊！ 

几天以后，医生的推测得到了证实。这是一种不可手术的脑肿瘤，病人通常只能活几个月。乔一个月以后出院了，即使有拐杖的帮助也几乎不能走路。医生告诉乔，即使他没有脑肿瘤，他也不可能再正常走路或跑步。医生已把金属棒固定在膝盖和腿部之间。我永远都忘记不了，这段时间是我一生中的一个低落点，但我都不敢想象乔和家人所经历的绝望!  

这以后的日子，大家都专注于如何来帮助乔。由于这个脑肿瘤比较少见，需要NHS（英国免费医疗系统）以外的特殊药物治疗。经过进一步咨询，相关的费用起码要数千英镑。这应该是乔和家人在已经负债累累的情况下最不想听到的。他们还是向银行贷款并设法买到了乔所需的药片和治疗药物，至于如何还清只能日后再想办法了。在这时候，乔尝试多次去联络山达基教的朋友，希望得到帮助或获得一些信息。我觉得他可能只是想听到电话线另一端来自山达基教朋友的支持与同情的声音。但什么都没有! 他的所谓教会朋友本应联合起来如家庭一般来拯救地球，但现在乔需要他们的时候，却无处可寻。很明显，现在的乔对他们来说，毫无用处。 

真正的爱 

我已经没有再和乔谈及山达基教了，但乔却自己提到几次述说他的失望，因为他曾一度把山达基教当作他的新家庭。在他为这些虚假的教会兄弟姐妹倾尽全力以后，受到这样的待遇他感到背叛与伤害。在医生诊断出脑肿瘤的四个月以后，乔在疾病折磨下去世了。他去世的时候，身边都是“真正的” 亲人和朋友。这个最后的时刻我一辈子都不会忘记，并会永远珍惜。 

我讲述的这个故事可能是我一生中最难忘的，至今想起心里还一阵阵的痛。虽然乔的脑肿瘤并不是山达基教所致，但这个教会摧毁了乔和他的家人的正常生活。现在乔的家人不仅要设法偿还乔的药物费用，还要负担他给山达基教的捐款以及书籍课程费用。我敢肯定，乔的家人为此付出了昂贵的代价。 

看完以上的文章以后，也许仍然会有人希望亲身经历山达基教，或是为他们辩护。这当然没问题，人们有选择自己生活方式的自由和权利，我绝对不会评论别人所做是对或错。但我希望大家都能从这个发生在我好朋友身上的惨痛经历中吸取教训，清楚知道山达基教会给你和家人带来的极端负面的影响。我也建议大家通过互联网搜索与山达基教有关的同样事例，因为乔并不是山达基教的唯一的受害者。 

我希望你能在最后做出正确的选择。