Fixed mindset

Here's something I noticed about the way I relate to things: I know, from the get go, that I either can or can't do something. I even have a pretty good guess how good I can or can't do something. I think this applies to both practical things and abstract things.

Let's see some examples:

• cleaning
  I hate to clean the house, I am not good at it and no matter what I do is never as clean as it should be or is when someone who knows what they're doing are done. It's a mystery but it is what it is.

Now this is something I'll tell you, I'll admit and I've been told repeatedly. I am not a tidy person. I can't clean. My life is a semi-organized entropy concentration. However...

Is this an absolute truth?
Did I ever try to learn how to keep a clean house, how to clean tricky things ( hello, oven!) and how often should everything be done? Did I invest in some good cleaning ustensila and maybe an awesome vacuum ( hello, Miele!)?

No. I did not.

But I CAN NOT!!! ever keep a clean house cause..reasons.
Now this idea strike me as stupid. It is stupid.
However..I also feel overwhelmed with learning this and deep down I have a certitude based on nothing in particular?! that I am 100% faither to never be able to learn this.
So..I don't.
So..I live in filth. ( Well, I have someone who cleans sometimes so is not all lost)

Wtf is with this? For a person like me who believes that learning is an exercise in discipline and not in talent/inclination to be stuck with something that almost everyone can do?
I kind of believe I identified a misfiring of my brain. Which is good cause it surely applies to bigger things as well.

Like...

• Being social
  Oh another thing I suck at. It doesn't helps that I can't hear and bla bla but still, I feel and am constantly awkward around people, I can't do small talk well, I've been told that I can be creepy, autistic, weird and make people uncomfortable. Ugh, harsh!

But did I really put any effort in learning anything about this? Beyond the basic of trying to understand people, I have not. I think maybe I don't think this is learnable but then people do discuss about "social aptitude" which implies a skill, right?

Putting 1 and 2 together, my conclusion MUST be that I am not faithed to be the awkward kid in the corner forever but I kind of chose - for better or worse, consciously - to stay there. My brain is SO SURE that this is not a choice, but maybe it is more than I want to admit.

Interesting.
Now how do I use this mop again?