Fighting sexism with silence - A gym tale.
Hello, hello, a gym tale again hits your "feed", "home" or whatever we call it now.
This one is about a redneck.
Read on..
The day in question, I was just minding my own business after a hard set. If you lift, you know the feeling: you rest, look around, doing nothing in particular. But sometimes, something happens...
The Redneck appears at the horizon of the cardio zone. He wears a tight tank top that show off his inflated belly. He is 40lbs too fat and balding but you can be sure by the way he walks around with his chest out he thinks he's hot stuff. He has a constant smirk on his face and he's in the gym all the time. Doing what, exactly, I do not know.
Is it worth saying that he is 5'5'??
I've seen him around, of course, he's a "curlbro", a guy who's doing arms every day and generally seems to talk more than he lifts.
In a word, the guy is scum.
The redneck proceeds to the weights area and right then SHE walks by and jump on a treadmill. At this point, we need to do one of those "stop-camera" movie moment and zoom on her.
SHE
She is a fit girl at the gym. She is dressed, as women do, in leggings and a t-shirt. She looks like someone who does a lot of sport and yes, she is attractive. Maybe athlete level. She also looks like she is there to work out and get the hell out - headset on, focused. The "don't fuck with me" face is unmistakable.
All this would almost not register for me, if it weren't for the redneck's decision to open his pie-hole.
"What a piece of ass on that chick, huh?" he says looking at me like we're buddies or something.
I'm kind of surprised by this all and unprepared so I say nothing. This was my first mistake.
"Oh, just right" he continues and makes the international cupping the butt sign.
I turned away, ashamed for the guy, really. Yes, a victim less crime maybe but also a moral one, for me. By turning my back, I'm also betraying my views. Still, unsure if I should have said something.
On further thinking, I probably should have said nothing and just...
The silence made me an accomplice. It's almost as good as an approval wink. This was my second mistake. Not my circus, not my monkeys as they say but how right am I?
" This is why women don't feel alright at the gym. That's why we can't have nice things!!" and as people shut up, these rednecks might get the weird idea that this is accepted behavior. I think, not anymore it isn't!
There will be another redneck and another chance to say something. I hope I won't stay silent again.
And IF next time it's you in the gym, don't do it either :)
The End.
You do not have to say anything. You will not change people's minds and opinions. I think even just observing and understanding on what level some people live helps us to do better.
And I certainly do not agree with @skeptic , not all people go to the gym to look and be looked at. I believe going to the gym gives some of us motivation and space to work out. Not everyone has lots of space at home.
I agree. I don't want to change anyone's mind [ well... ] but I do feel a bit that people should not feel so smug being assholes..don't you agree?
I understand what you mean but you should not feel bad about not saying anything. And I also understand because I come across some situations when I would gladly give someone a friendly advice on how to not be an idiot but it is just not worth it :)
I support you in this. I am not a feminist, but I believe as men, we need to treat women with respect. To anyone who disagrees, put yourself in @razvanelulmarin 's place, and assume the attractive girl is your daughter. What would you say in reply to the guy then?
I support you in this. I am not a feminist, but I believe as men, we need to treat women with respect.how is looking at someone disrespecting them? should all men walk around staring at the floor bumping into stuff out of fear that they might look at someone? she obviously cant read their minds, for all we know they were staring at her because they think she is ugly. we cant read brains so the only fact we have is they looked at her. no one can prove what they were thinking. maybe they were impressed with the amount of weight she was lifting, we will never know and just assuming that they were checking her out is just an assumption.
To anyone who disagrees, put yourself in @razvanelulmarin 's place, and assume the attractive girl is your daughter.attractive to who? what we find attractive is subjective. for all we know this "red neck" guy could have thought she was ugly. we don't know because we cant read brains. if it was my daughter and she mentioned it like this girl did im sure my response would be the same. if you don't like it don't go, find another way to work out where your comfortable and stop judging people by the way they look, stop thinking you can read brains and knock it off with the victim card, so take responsibility for your own actions, that's what I would tell my daughter.
What would you say in reply to the guy then?I wouldn't say anything to him, why would I walk up so someone and try to tell them something when all they did was look at someone? she isn't saying someone grabbed her butt or that they were surrounding her and taking picts or anything. they were looking at her and she is so narcissistic that instantly she thinks they are checking her out (so what if they are) and thinking inappropriate thoughts. it is all her projection. she is talking bad about someone because how they look then saying they are all staring at me wanting to fuck me, pitty me. fucking swear.
We're not talking about trying to read anyone's mind. I'm referencing the story in the post...
That's pretty flagrant disrespect in my opinion.
people are going to be assholes, cant punish all men for the actions of a couple assholes. im sure some girls have made inappropriate comments before too, we don't blame all women because a couple assholes make some comments. their will always be assholes, nothing we can do about the couple people like that. a majority of the people know that is wrong and don't do it.
I agree.
I see these guys all the time. I think they're prevalent in most gym. Those that go to my gym are not-as 'hot-chick' oriented. They're nice guys with no-physique-progression-over time :)
those are common everywhere, but at least they don't think they're hot-shit..
good point!
@razvanelulmarin
She might have liked it though is she heard the comment. I know for fact that many girls do. This is a very subjective thing to assume that all people would be offended by it.
your obviousy an angry feminist.
hope you feel good about yourself for judging people by the way they look.
people go to the gym to look at people and be looked at. if not you would stay at home and workout.
im not saying what the people were doing was true, false, or even that your take on what happened (you cant read peoples brains) was not true. it comes off to me as attention seeking to post this.
have a great day getting upvotes from the feminists for this garbage. 8D
I am a woman, and I can assure you that 99% of females do not go to the gym to be looked at. In fact, what I hate the most about going to the gym is being looked at or treated in the manner that the author describes. I'd work out at home if I could, just to avoid these types of encounters, but I live in a small apartment in NYC which has zero extra room to work out in. So what is a girl to do? Stop whining and go to the gym, I guess. Keep a straight face while squating heavy weights when she can see the group of guys in the mirror behind her making wise cracks about her ass, I guess. And if that is too hard, she can just stick to cardio and avoid the weights at all costs. Because that's fair.
I hope this post gets attention. If we are lucky, it could lead to at least one less creep at the gym.
I am a woman, and I can assure you that 99% of females do not go to the gym to be looked at. In fact, what I hate the most about going to the gym is being looked at or treated in the manner that the author describes.and you don't work out at home because?
I'd work out at home if I could, just to avoid these types of encounters, but I live in a small apartment in NYC which has zero extra room to work out in.yeah cause guys in a 7x4 foot prison cell cant work out because of space. O.o
So what is a girl to do? Stop whining and go to the gym, I guess.they do have female only gyms, all I hear from you are excuses. it is a choice you are making. if you don't like it figure out another way to work out. I know way to many chicks that go to the gym as a social thing, im sure everything you are working out you could do the same at the park or in your house for free.
Keep a straight face while squating heavy weights when she can see the group of guys in the mirror behind her making wise cracks about her ass, I guess.or don't wear spandex and wait to do squats when the group of guys is right there? if it bothered you that much you would not be going back over and over.
And if that is too hard, she can just stick to cardio and avoid the weights at all costs. Because that's fair.or she could go lift weights somewhere else if it that much of a problem. you talk about fair as you talk bad about someone because of how he looks. is it fair that the men you talk about should leave the gym because females have a problem with men looking at them?
I hope this post gets attention. If we are lucky, it could lead to at least one less creep at the gym.I doubt that will happen unless you stop going to the gym. you are the only creep in this situation. are you there to work out or to pay attention to this "red neck" guy? fucking ignore him and work out if your really not there for any other reason.
I'm not a feminist and I upvoted. See my comment below.
ok I will after I deal with the spelling and grammer lesson some stupid cunt is going to try to give me. cause if I choose not to care about grammer and spelling in comments instantly all the points make are irrevelent. lol
I understand that you base your identity on the fact that you speak whatever comes into your mind but if you want to have a future here I think you would be wise to filter the hateful name calling. I seldom flag anyone but I came close on this comment.
wow, fuck you.
it is wrong to censor people. for any reason.
if you want steemit to have a future it would be wise not to threaten people with flagging if they say something you don't like. fucking swear. I said something u don't like so you might flag me and because you haven't yet, you will give me a warning like im going to give a shit? if you flag me for any reason your in the wrong and I will have no problem putting you on blast to the whole community for doing it. so go for it, i need something to write a post about. ;P
Senteces usually start with a Capital letter.
"your obviousy an angry feminist." ---> "You're", "obviously" if by that you mean that I think the boorish behavior some man feel entitled to display towards women is outdated, disgusting and make me angry. Thank you.
"hope you feel good about yourself for judging people by the way they look." He who does not judge, throw the first stone.
"people go to the gym to look at people and be looked at" , Have you ever been to a gym? "gym" is actually short of "gymnasium" an old greek word that means "a location for gymnastics, athletics, and gymnastic ".
"if not you would stay at home and workout." Your logic took a leap here...and fell flat.
"im not saying what the people were doing was true, false, or even that your take on what happened (you cant read peoples brains) was not true." You're not saying much anyway.
"it comes off to me as attention seeking to post this." I win, you commented.
"have a great day getting upvotes from the feminists for this garbage. " As long as they're not from frustrated misogynists...
Senteces usually start with a Capital letter.yes they do, I do not give a fuck though. spelling and grammer errors does not cancel out the points made.
you mean that I think the boorish behavior some man feel entitled to display towards women is outdated, disgusting and make me angry. Thank you.you talk about how the men feel entitled but at the same time your saying your entitled to make men stop looking at things because of your fweelings. no clue why you say thank you after making a non logical statement like that.
He who does not judge, throw the first stone.how is that a response to me pointing out your judging people by the way they look?
Have you ever been to a gym? "gym" is actually short of "gymnasium" an old greek word that means "a location for gymnastics, athletics, and gymnastic ".wow, have you ever been to a gym? fucking swear. that is great you can copy and paste the definition of something but it does not change the fact that a large amount of the people that go to the gym do it to look at people and be looked at. just look at the fucking clothing you all where when you go to work out at the gym. -smh-
Your logic took a leap here...and fell flat.that's your responce to me saying you should work out at home if you don't want people to look at you? how? if it is really a problem like you say why not work out at home? how is that logic falling flat?
You're not saying much anyway.your really good at dodging questions and statements that prove your narrative wrong aren't you?
I was just saying you cant read minds so stop making statements about what the person was thinking, you have no clue what someone was thinking.
I win, you commented.yep, proof that's all it is. attention seeking post. good job you got what you wanted and proved me correct.
As long as they're not from frustrated misogynists...more mind reading? how can you say im misogynist? nothing I have said has been the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women. I guess anyone that has an opinion on something you disagree with you instantly jump on the victim train calling men misogynist.
good job.
you must be proud of yourself.
p.s.
I made sure to have crappy spelling and grammer just for you. feel free to give me another lesson on it so you can ignore all the points.
*grammar
Yeah, it was misspelt on purpose.
8D