Recycle Joint.

An experience from the years I lived on Tenerife (2005-2011), the Island of Rebirth. On the same day, life took me away everything I had. It was at the end of january, so it was cold, for what we were used to on the island of eternal spring.

Life took away my boyfriend, my job, my place to live, my art and all of my material and the biggest part of the clothes I owned, were locked away in a place for which I had no key. It could take a while before I could make use of that stuff again. Luckily I was still in possession of a bag with some clothes. So.....what to do now? What lesson of life was this, I asked my Self. And the answer was.....nothing. I had to learn to do......Nothing!

That was not easy for a person like me, I was accustomed to always having everything under control as a single mother of three children. Losing control meant danger to me. But I´ve learned to listen to my inside voice, to follow the way life shows me and not to fight my own creation. I knew a few people who slept on the beach, so that's where I went, to ask for a blanket. Now I needed a large cardboard box to insulate against the cold sand. As I was on the beach every day, to offer my painted stones to the tourists, I knew where the new roll of garbage bags could be found. As a routined streetrat you know these things and a lot more.

Now it was time to look for a good place to sleep. I went down to the beach and I thought it would be a good idea to lay down in the shadow of a small natural stone wall, next to a staircase that went from the promenade to the beach. So I made my bed and laid my tired head, but after ten minutes it started to rain. It rained very softly, I liked it more or less, but at the same time I was getting wet. So I looked up and said: 'Is this truly necessary? Do you realy think this is funny?' So I took my stuff and walked away to surch for a better place. I didn´t had to go far.

On the other side of this stair, there was an overhanging rock wall, with large hanging plants. Behind these beautiful green natural curtains, I found my ideal sleeping place. A place, just big enough for one person. First I had to clean up a bit, for it is a black beach, full of stones from el Teide, parts of the big vulcan are everywhere. So I made myself a place, between two big rocks looking out of the sand. First I spread out my carton on the sand, on top of it came the blue garbage bag and finally my bath towel. What a bliss I had that towel with me. My big towel to sleep on, to sit on, to dry me with, to eat on, very practical.

Now I had to prepare myself for my first night at the beach. I put on an extra t-shirt and my denim jacket, then two trousers on top of each other, which I closed with my socks from below. My little bag with a few belongings I used as a pillow. I rolled myself in the blanket and my head and face in a shawl as a protection against spiders and other insects who could creep over my face. I put my shoes next to me and watched through my green curtain. I had a good sight over the whole beach because there where a lot of lights. My little spot was dark, in the shadow of the rocks, my protection, thank you very much.

I looked up again with a smile on my face and thankfulness in my heart for leading me to this nice place, by this soft and gentle kind of rain I like so much. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the ocean. Stones rolling in and out of the water. Endless waves with their own melody, always different, always new. I felt this endless freedom in me and started to listen to my own melody.

I thought back to times when I needed a truck to move from one place to another with my three little children, dog and parrot. And we did that more than once. Now I just had a blanket and a little pillow bag. For the first time in my life here on earth I felt free. FREE...........the ocean, the wind, the melody of the rocks......Freedom. My children now mature, lived their own lives. All my stuff lost on my life journey. No old ballast anymore. What a gift of life, I felt so gratefull that I could cry. Life is so beautifull if you can accept your lessons. If you don´t have to call them problems anymore. If you don´t have to worry, because you understand that these are the thoughts who create these so called problems. If you find a way to live in peace with your ego, you can start to enjoy life. Regocnize the sound of your Self and start to sing in harmony. Don´t fight it, do not ignore. Just be in harmony with all the parts of you. Sitting on the beach, feeling free with the ocean, I wrote a song that says:

I am happy dancing with the ocean
and the water devas dance with me.
It´s like making Love, making Love,
making Love to the sea.

That first night in january I felt the Love of the ocean, I understood the wise words spoken. I listened the silent sound, the wispering words of the wind, the music coming out of my bedroom wall. Never in my life I felt so rich. I closed my eyes and flew over the water into the big silence of the night.

About seven o clock I woke up of a sound. A disturbing sound. People where cleaning on the beach, the stairs, terasses. Machines, cleaning machines, machines, human machines. The day had already begun, although I wasn't really awake yet. I sat for a while in the sand to wake up with the waves. Fortunately there was a pump with good drinking water in the harbour, that was important. I saw that the older residents drank it, so it was good. Like I alway say: 'Life has everything I need at the moment I need it. And what I dont have, I don´t need.' So I was sitting on my towl on the beach, enjoying the sun slowly coming over the mountains. This very first morning light, so soft and beautifull. Pure energy for my soul. How nice it would be to drink a cup of coffee now.

Playing with my hands in the sand, I noticed something. This apparently was a good place to smoke without being seen. Ok I thought, thank you very much. I collected and opened a few, happy to have some papers with me haha, and I rolled one. What a breakfast, a bottle of water, a smiling sun and my first but surtainly not last recycle joint. Life smiled at me and I smiled back.

Slowly walking through the sand, I went in the direction of this other world. The so called commercial world, where people don´t have time to enjoy. They have to make mony they say, to buy all this stuff they don´t realy need. To buy all this food that make them sick. On my way to that world I met a friend, another street fighter, who sold ashtrays made from recycled cans. He was happy to see me, he had a good night yesterday, selling some of his ashtrays and invited me for a coffee. Yessssss please, thank you very much again. Life and I, we just keep on smiling to eachother. Just keep moving, keep trusting, keep dreaming, keep creating and be happy. That´s all there is.

You know what? Life teached me, it doesn´t matter what happens, in the end nothing happens. You still are the same soul, just with more life experiences. In the end, that's why we're here on earth, to return Home more wisely than we have come.

Rasta Lady