A True Love Story | A Story About True Love
A True Love Story a story about true love
"She's gone now. she's gone now."
He said the words with an annoying kind of devotion. I felt sorry for him, of course, but I couldn't help but be grossly appalled at the same time. Only reason I chose to listen to him in the first place, in fact, was because this was his first time. He'd never gotten this way before.
"She's gone now. She's gone now."
So I let him continue and when night came and he still hadn't lost an ounce of his devotion I decided to call M, our third friend, the only person I knew could get through to him.
M said to come to the bar downtown so I threw him a jacket and we were on our way. He kept muttering the words to himself on the way and he was the most annoyingly pitiable creature in the world. At the bar I met with M at a corner.
"How's he doing old friend?"
M said.
"I'm afraid he's gotten worse."
"Worse? How worse?"
"He's talking about darkness and nihilism."
"Oh why didn't you tell me he was that worse! That's really worse. You should have called me sooner."
So we went to the table and he was still muttering the words. He was sobbing silently now.
"She's gone. I don't know what I did. I don't know what I did. She's gone."
"It's fine, old buddy."
I said
"To make her hate me so much." He said, and then silently, sob. sob. "I really absolutely can't know what I did. I tired to figure it out. If she had just told me. If she had just told me."
"It's okay, old buddy."
I said, tapping him on the shoulder. M ordered drinks.
"Have a drink, old buddy."
M said.
"It's not my fault."
He said, sobbing.
"Well of course it's your fault!" M said. "It's your fault for dating someone so much smarter than you are!"
"She was." He said, sobbing. "She was! She was so much smarter than me. She's gone now. She's gone now."
It was an absolutely funny affair, I tell you. I couldn't laugh, of course, because he had never been like that ever. And he was in fact the smartest of us. M was the calmest. I was the dumbest--and proud.
After a while he stopped sobbing and had a drink or two and began to sob again. It was the funniest thing you'd ever seen. After a while he stopped again and looked us dead in the eye.
"I hate her."
He said.
"We hate her, too."
I said.
"No we dont."
M said. He understood him way more than I did. I was the dumbest and proud.
"And you have no right to, either." M continued. "It's all your fault. You made her the crux of your knowledge. Your intellect. Your being. Your success etc. And that is why whenever you think about her now you lose the zeal to strive. To exist even."
"There's nothing to existence anymore. There never has been anything to existence but her. And now there is no her and there is no me and there is never going to be another her because of the pain. The pain is so much, M."
He looked like dying puppy.
"The pain is so much and so senseless and it's going to crush me utterly and there's nothing I can do. There's nothing I can do. I've tried everything."
It was all so funny and bleak and dreary you wouldn't believe we were in a bar. I wanted go get the hell away from there, to tell you the truth. But he was my friend and the smartest of all and had never gotten that way before. Ever.
"She was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. Still is. I miss her. And I hate her."
"It's fine then." M said. "Hate her. But have a drink old buddy. See if you still hate her afterwards."
So after five bottles he got really drunk and he couldn't hate a fly. He climbed on the chair and cried out aloud and said these exact words.
"Oh I love! How I love! I loved like a fool and I knew what I was doing and I never thought the pain would be so much and the darkness so senseless! But I love! Oh I just wanna love! I just want to love and read and see girls. I just want to read about beautiful girls and how beautiful girls are and their hairs and eyes and oh just their beauty and how girls are the sweet things of the earth and beautiful. Girls girls and beautiful girls. I love!"
So I was terrifically high too and I got on the table and laughed so hard and there was the stench of vomits and stale sweat everywhere and it was beautiful. And when I was done laughing I cried for my friend because he was the smartest of us and he had his heart shattered and became a nihilist and he was the smartest of us and had never been this way ever.
"Do you smell that? Do you hear that?" M. Said. "That's the stuff. It's the smell and the music. It's the nostalgia is what keeps us going. They're our worst friends and our worst enemies. These are truths. These are truths we will come to disparage. Cheers, old buddy, cheers!"
So we turned the whole bar upside down or we were the one upside down it's hard to tell but it was terrifically sad. We couldn't have been so blissfully miserable and wretched if we had tried, and in a second we found ourselves face down on the table getting our faces pummeled by big men with biceps the size of our head.
He was covered in a pool of blood and my head kept swirling I couldn't quite make out anything. By and by we found ourselves thrown outside the bar face first into the garbage and M was standing above us getting us up.
"What a night, eh!"
I said, unable to feel a thing.
He was beside me unable to get up. M tried pulling him up buthe'd fall down again and say, Leave me be. Leave me be old buddy I've found my ataraxy.
So we sat on the floor outside the bar, M and I, and he was sprawled on the floor sobbing and saying,
"She's gone. She's gone for sure now."
And then,
"I don't hate her. Hating her could help for sure. But I don't hate her. I loved her! I loved her so much."
So he cried and cried again.
"I loved her so much!"
"I know. I know, old buddy."
"I know you do. I know you all do. I loved her like a fool and you know it. But it's me I'm worried about. I don't want to stop knowing it."
"You really have to move on."
I said.
"No. No I don't wanna."
So he slept off on the floor outside the bar and I slept off too and M called a taxi and inside I woke up and he was still asleep and then he stirred.
"I'm so lucky," He said. "I'm lucky she loved me once. She did. I know it."
She didn't.
THE DICK WAS TOO GOOD