A child personality development

How your child asserts his personality :

It takes the child three years,

to come to the point of understanding that he is a being in his own right, to recognize himself in an ice or a picture, to say "me, I" and to distinguish himself from others. A work essential to its development, here are the steps.

At 9 months, he discovered that he was a being in his own right, separate from his mother. Gradually, around 1 year, he begins to become aware of his body and to consider himself as a whole. He recognizes his name and initiates a communication with the other.

He recognizes himself in the ice

The stage of the mirror is an important step, which takes place around 18 months. Able to identify his own image, he can also identify himself in a photo. The image gives the child a visual, external confirmation of what he feels in himself. It allows him to identify himself as a whole, a human form. It gives the "me" its frame.

He considers the other as a double of himself

This is reflected in his two-man games: "to you, to me". "I hit you, you slap me." "I run after you, you run after me". Each plays the same role, in turn. They are not clearly differentiated, each serves as a mirror for the other.

He talks about him in the third person

This use of language reflects his inability to clearly distinguish himself from the other: he speaks for himself as he speaks of his mother or anyone else. This work of differentiation will be done little by little, during his third year.

He knows how to define himself as a girl or a boy

It is about 2 years that comes to him the conscience of his sexual identity. He compares, questions. He knows to what half of humanity he belongs. From there to being aware of him as a single being, there is a big step.

He starts saying "no" to everything

Between 2 and 3 years old, the child begins to oppose his parents. It is "I refuse, so I am": to say "no" is his way of saying "me". He needs to affirm his own existence, his identity in full construction. Without yielding systematically, you have to listen to it, to hear it. This famous crisis of opposition is a strong sign of evolution of his intelligence.

He's bombarding you with "me alone!" "

The "me" comes shortly after the "no" and exists in parallel. The child goes one step further in the assertion of oneself, he wants to free himself from the parental tutelage. He thus confusedly claims the right to govern his own existence. He is eager for autonomy. Let him do little things as long as there is no danger.

He refuses to touch his toys

For him, his toys are part of him. You ask him to lend, as much to ask him to tear an arm. By refusing, he protects himself against any risk of fragmentation: his self-awareness is still fragile. It is therefore absurd to oblige a child to lend his toys. There is no need to criticize his egocentrism: it's stronger than him. He will later learn altruism and generosity.

He accesses the "I"

This marks a fundamental turning point in the construction of his identity: at age 3, he has completely completed his work of differentiation "me / others". His vision of the world is bipolar: on the one hand, "me", the central figure, and on the other side, all the others, more or less foreign, peripheral or hostile, who revolve around him at varying distances. It will be refined little by little.

At 4: your child's identity is built

He is 4 years old, his vision of the world is nuance. He begins to know himself and to know what sets him apart from other children. He is able to state these differences: "I am strong in football? Thomas, he runs fast. It is by differentiating himself from others that he defines himself in a more and more precise way