Amplified Emotion (Original Poetry)

in #poetry5 years ago (edited)

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Intriguing poem, @raj808. I wonder if you are the first to write a poem on this particular topic!

Ha ha, I'm not sure anyone else is loopy enough to try and write a poem from the perspective of a microphone 😂

I'm glad it intrigued and sparked the ole grey matter jayna. I wonder if you don't mind answering a question? Did it come across well that it was a persona poem from the perspective of a microphone?

I'm going to say yes to that. I'm not sure what you mean by persona poem, but the voice of the piece leads to the mic as the "speaker" (terrible choice of words but what other is there?). My first run through, thinking it was a love poem, i saw a lover who is helping to amplify his love's self when I read the word mic. I think this poem is two poems in one.

Good one

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Cheers :)

Very creative, @raj808! Your words, beautifully coupled, could seek any destination in the reader's mind. If you had not identified the interlocutor, we would still be hypnotized looking for him. Good job!

If you had not identified the interlocutor, we would still be hypnotized looking for him.

Ha ha, well I don't like to be too obscure in poetry as I was taught that the poem has failed if the reader can't at least have a vague idea what the meaning of the poem is ;-)

Thanks for your kind comment zeleiracordero :)

I'm glad I stopped by. Very peaceful.

Hi tristan

I'm glad this poem could impart that peaceful feeling. That's surely a worthwhile result in the sea of chaos that is our world.

Cheers for stopping by to read :)

I read poetry very slowly.
So I'm reading this one very slowly, and because it starts with lips to a head (mottled? a baby's head? an elderly head?) I of course thought it was a love poem.
The words you use in the second verse are passionate: ensnaring, leaping, pouring, soothing, exciting, igniting, tearing.... and now I'm sure this is a love poem. No matter if there are some unexplained cold hard nouns: wires, transistors, speakers - I wrote those off as metaphors to ponder and unlock later.
Back to behind the lips and the sensuous tongue, I become a part of you
and finally microphone - again I think this is probably a metaphor. So I actually finish the poem thinking you've written about a great love that amplifies the soul of the other, speaks for the other, helps the other to be heard, that type of thing.
I had to read it a second time to see how skillfully you had described a mic and felt a tiny bit foolish it had taken me a second read to understand that this was a riddle, and the last word should have dropped the poem into meaning like a punch line does a joke.
But the language you used is too beautiful to be simply a riddle, so I'm going to stick with my first interpretation of the work as a love poem. Maybe you intended it to be both.
Great poem love this!

Ha ha, well it's clear that you are a concise and skillful reader of poetry, as it was meant to be a double edged sword of a poem.

It definetly is a love poem and, in fact, the first draft of this poem was written over ten years ago when I was in university and very much in love with a girl I met on my imaginative writing course.

It was rewritten and edited quite heavily on Saturday as the original was a little convoluted. I was also not as good a writer back then and it showed in the original lol. But I do remember when I wrote this poem that I wanted to experiment with personifying the microphone and the singer as in kind of a love affair.

I trained as a sound engineer as a young man so there is a lot of specific details in there that add to the imagery. Mottled head refers to the texture of a standard microphone's head, but equally it has sensual/sexual undertones to that first line. A lot of my poems from that time were partly about creating strange, and often, unsettling double meanings.

This poem was definitely experimental and inspired by a poem I read at the time from the perspective/persona of a cup of tea.

Today, you can be anyone you want. Yesterday you were 40, but today, you might be 73 or a different sex, have a different profession, or be of a different orientation. Your sister stole your inheritance. Your car broke down. You’re a pastry chef or a spy.

Source

Oh good! As far as I am concerned, you've brilliantly met you goals. I loved it. It both rattled me and stilled me. Doesn't get better than that.
I'm am amateur singer and only recently started using a mic. To me, it feels like a forced marriage. Maybe I should try loving my microphone back.

LOL - you're anthropomorhpizing your mic - thanks to Raj!
It will never love you, no matter what Raj says.
Now, electronics in general, and tech, and computers: that stuff can HATE us and torment us, but if it's ever loved any of us, I missed out.
Great poem Raj!

Ha ha, hi @carolkean.

I'm not surprised that you couldn't imagine falling in love with technology. I think its a generational thing, I hope you don't mind me saying that lol. I've known you for long enough to remember that your quite the technophobe.

To be fair, I think I'm probably of an old school mindset myself in most things. I'd much rather be out walking up a mountain to inspire me, both creatively, and mentally/spiritually than strapping a virtual reality headset on to wander around a synthetic world...

But I have to be honest, I love playing computer games, and the only reason I haven't got lost in a virtual reality world, is that I've been careful not to ever have a go on an oculus rift VR headset. I can completely imagine if I had a go I'd lose my mind and fall in love with that technology 😂

I completely fell in love with technology when I learned how to use a mixing desk, and set up microphones for bands, I ended up making music using a computer and a bit of kit called a sound module. Then about 5 years after I learned how to mix and master music, everything changed to digital from analogue. Literally everything I learned in my sound engineering course became obsolete overnight.

@nickyhavey knows about all this stuff much more than me,
but he's up-to-date 😂

Ha ha, this is a challenge to the best music producer I know on steem 😉 to explain the (purely platonic) love a person can have with technology a million times better than I ever could lol

Oh where oh where is my son the mix-master and composer....@mvkean.... he has a minor in "informatics," even had to take a coding class (it's trendy now for children to take up coding - it should be mandatory!). And never fear, you cannot offend me, Raj, with reminders that I'm a last-Century technophobe. I accept my vices as well as my virtues and will never do the math to see if one outweighs the other.

an oculus rift VR headset- now I wonder what kind Dr. Libby McGugan uses with her patients. Inspired by patients who have retrained their brains,

Libby is focusing on helping us all ‘Live Inside Out’ through her real world and virtual world seminars, talks and workshops.
https://www.eventual.space/io-reality/


Thanks for all the great information Raj, and maybe you should try out those headsets after all... as long as you set a timer and quit the fun when it's time to step outside and move the body, not just the mind. :)

I would like to make one tiny suggestion. I think your mic should be left aligned with but one extra space below the rest of the poem. Indenting it like that gives it the feel of a riddle and makes it too clear (for some), like a clue that is too easy to follow. a trick. I hope you don't mind my saying so.

Indenting it like that gives it the feel of a riddle and makes it too clear (for some), like a clue that is too easy to follow. a trick. I hope you don't mind my saying so.

I don't mind you saying at all @owasco. Also, I think you're right. I was trying to be clever with the markdown, when it wasn't adding to the poem.

If it was set out like that in a journal, or a poetry collection, the only reason to indent it left like that would be to add a dramatic pause. But to be honest, that's the last thing I want with this poem.

The last line is the twist, for anyone who hasn't figured it out through the word choice, and imagery. That line should be delivered quickly, to give impact to the reader. You were absolutely right in your editorial choice.

Thanks! Sometimes, I rush posts out on steem, or just don't take the time to let them sit for a day so I can notice the errors. I'm particularly guilt of this with poetry.

:)

Oh I have been so anxious that perhaps I overstepped. I really do love that piece.

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