A Satirical Story.

I managed to do some writing yesterday. Here it is! This doesn't have a name yet, and is definitely not the final edit, but other than a read-aloud to Mikey, you guys get first read. I hope you enjoy it. :)

Helene Wynton entered the room first, making her way along the carpet through the crowd. She was a soft, but manicured-looking lady of about 46 years. The people were cheering. Anticipation for the debates had never been higher. Both of the politics leading in the polls were contentious in their own way.

A women held up her baby to Helene. Brushing a wispy bit of tawny hair aside, she met the dewy little bundle of joy with a kiss. Smiling and waving, she finally made her way to the stage, backing up each step and blowing kisses on her way to the podium.

She straightened out her smart two piece outfit, her papers, and readied herself for the debates.

The crowd cheered for a while, but started to quiet down after several minutes. Helene's opponent was late. Ten minutes in, murmering began. Helene cleared her throat to speak to the crowd.

Dougall Fromp burst in with a breeze of egg fart. The crowd turned to see him in the doorway. He stomped forward, with a bow-legged gait. One of his horns caught the curtain from the doorway, and ripped it as he tore through the crowd on route to the stage. The cheering began anew.

An old lady reached out to touch him as he passed, and was sent sailing through the air by a swift uppercut. The people clapped and cheered, and the old lady thudded softly against the far wall, moaning her praise.

Fromp aggressively made his way to the podium, and sent an acrid belch back to the people, in appreciation. The debates could now begin.

The host was a 30-something pixie-cut brunette woman in a pencil skirt. Not wanting to delay any longer, she addressed the audience.

"Welcome everybody, thank you all for making it out to the final debates for this election. We're running a bit behind, so without further ado, let's open the floor for introductory statements! Let's start with the leader of the East party. Dr. Helene Wynton!"

The host moved stage left, making way for Helene to speak.

"Hello and thank you all for coming out to this final debate." Helene started. "Voting day is tomorrow, and it has never been so important to take decisive action for your own futures. My promises, to you the people, are of care, and social responsibility--"

"I WILL EAT THE HOMELESS, AND THEN THERE WILL BE NO HOMELESSNESS." Fromp cut in. The audience roared with cheers. He snorted a spray of mucus from his porcine snout onto his tusks. His tongue darted out to try to lick them clean.

Helene continued, "social responsibility, towards people living without shelter, or below the poverty line, people struggling to pay rent or afford medication! I have on my team leading economists, sociologists and--"

"NO MORE MONEY FOR SCHOOLS! EDUCATION IS WASTED ON HUMAN YOUTH SCUM!" The roar of cheers erupted again. The lady with the baby in the crowd raised her flesh sapling high in approval.

"Sociologists and... and..." Helene stammered. Somebody booed from the back of the room.

The pencil-skirted host cut in. "I'm sorry, Dr. Wynton! Time is up! It's Mr. Fromp, leader of the West Party's turn to introduce himself. Mr. Fromp, please."

"Thank you, inferior female!" He crowed, tipping his horns toward the host. More cheering from the audience. "Enough promises from lying politicians, like the lies we keep hearing from lying liar Wynton, who only tells lies. She wants to hire 'experts' with YOUR tax money, so that YOU'LL be poor. Wynton wants you all to die of poorness!"

"With all due respect--" Helene tried to interject, but was cut off again by the host.

"Dr. Wynton, please wait your turn to speak. Mr. Fromp?"

"Thank you, less valuably-gendered being. As I was saying. Also, useless female subhuman Wynton was a baby once! We cannot afford to overlook this discretion. I have called two FBI investigations into this matter, and they have clearly been paid off by the vicious East-supporters. We cannot have babies in leadership positions. They don't know stuff!"

The crowd begins to echo Fromp's words.

"She doesn't know stuff! She doesn't know stuff!" They cried, working up into a frenzy.

"People, please! Keep an open mind! Think about your futures!" Helene cried out, concerned.

They murmered with worry, and anger at this.

"I OPENED A MIND ONCE." claimed Fromp. "IT WAS SQUISHY. I'M LEAVING NOW. DON'T VOTE FOR A STUPID BABY." He stomped back out, leaving his opponent slack-jawed at the debate podium.

The next day, people took to the polls. By a landslide, the winner was Dougall Fromp. A few people wondered how this could happen, and why.

"I just didn't like her policies." Said a younger blonde woman to her husky friend.

"Policies, whatever." Said Jenny, the blonde's friend. "She just wasn't charismatic enough."

Nora, the blonde girl, nodded in agreement. "And we just can't have a baby in office. It would just be wrong."

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