Humorous Quips

Don’t take life too seriously. Relax, have fun and most importantly laugh as often as you can. Life is too short to waste it worrying about things you have no control over.

Enjoy this selection of quips. They are funny but at the same time, there is a lot of truth in some of these quips. May your weekend be filled with laughter.

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Alcohol does not solve problems, but then again, neither does milk. - Unknown

Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down. - Unknown

A man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. A woman must do what he can’t. - Rhonda Hansome

One minute you are young and carefree, the next minute you know it’s going to rain because your knee hurts. - Unknown

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters. - Unknown

The uglier a man's legs are the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. - H. G. Wells

I’m the person your mother warned you about. - Unknown

A negative judgment gives you more satisfaction than praise, provided it smacks of jealousy. - Jean Baudrillard

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller

I don’t have a welcome mat at my house because I’m not a liar. - Unknown

Marry someone who can cook. Looks go away, but hunger don’t. - Unknown

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake and not worry about the weight. - Unknown

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