People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them. *Epictetus*

Our perception is our reality: This is one of the basic underlying concept of Yin and Yang in the Tao. Most people in the West assume that the two concepts are totally separated, in part because the traditional image shown here of two fish tightly segregated into light and dark, black and white. We are taught that light and darkness cannot exist at the same time, in the same place. Yin and Yang do not deal with segregation, however, but with balance and symmetry.
Now take a moment with me and study the image a little closer. Do you now notice that the perfect dots of black and white are actually in the body of the oppositely-colored fish? Even in Yin and Yang (and in all of us) there is a tension and interplay between Light and Dark, effortless effort, detachment and great focus…even love and hate. Because of these opposing tendencies and attributes, we are able to shape and mold our lives. We can exercise choice and express our identity. Yin is not better or worse than Yang: They just are what they are.
A sunny day is no better or worse than a day of rain, and most days will normally have some moisture mixed in with some sunlight. That is the way life is. The critical concept to grasp is that we need both, sun and rain, Yin and Yang, to live.
The tendency to categorize everything into two opposing entities, and then label one of those entities positively (us, good, safe, beautiful) and the set of entities negatively (them, bad, dangerous, ugly) is an universal human tendency that each of us do. It is also one of the most damaging things we can do to ourselves, because we then start to judge ourselves and others according to these simple, dualistic categories.
Because we are all an admixture of whatever category we try to judge others by (or even ourselves), every judgement thus stings our conscious with acrid tang of hypocrisy. Unless we are completely free from whatever fault we call out in others, we condemn ourselves at the same time we outwardly judge. This pattern of outward judgement/inward condemnation brings a large amount of imbalance into our lives, impeding our progress and learning. The way to break this cycle comes from the principles of acceptance, detachment, nonjudgement and control. A common way to learn these four principles is through a meditation practice.
When we start a meditation practice, we usually start by observing our breathing as a focal point to calm our mind. We all breathe, so this is a very handy tool, as well as bringing our mind to a position of gratitude for each breath that is keeping us alive!
As we focus on our breathing and try to just be present, invariably our mind will very quickly get tired of the silence and start filling it up with thoughts. If we try to force the mind to shut up, things do not go well because we get more of what we focus on (my Third Pillar), So we accept that the mind will always want to talk (it is what is is) and we do not judge it or ourselves. We love ourselves where we are. We just detach ourselves from the stream of thoughts and observe impartially what comes by on one side and leaves out the other. In this way we practice acceptance, detachment and nonjudgement. We also start, as we watch this never ending murmur, to be able to tune it out. What we become habituated to slides into the background and we do not notice it. In this way we exercise control of our focus, as we acknowledge the thought, let it go without judgement, and return to following our breath.
As we practice meditation we make a very profound discovery: We are not our thoughts! We have them, yes, but they do not define who we are. This discovery then carries over to our interactions with all these peoples, places, and categories we were talking about earlier, because we can then start to practice the same four principles of acceptance, detachment, nonjudgement and control.
We become aware of the constant stream of judgement about ourselves and others. While we acknowledge that right now the person or situation is what is it, we refuse to focus on the judgement and give it power. We instead detach and observe nonjudgmentally what is actually happening, not what we want things to be. We love ourselves right where we are. This allows us to detach from the idea that we must identify ourselves with this story, this person, this action and just observe it without judgement. We then can turn our focus to what we can control, which is our choices. Here is the critical distinction for learning to embrace our Yin and Yang: we do not control all the thoughts that go through our heads, but we DO control our mindful choices. As we love ourselves and detach from the idea that others much be anything else then what they are, we eliminate a great deal of suffering in our lives. Buddhism teaches that if we resist and fight against things, we will suffer but things will still be as they are. If we accept things as they are and allow ourselves to find peace, things will still be as they are…but we will not suffer. To suffer or to have peace is our choice to make, the one thing that actually is in our control.
As we embrace the Tao of Yin and Yang through meditation practice and being present minded another concept starts occurring in our lives, that of Wu Wei. It is a very intriguing concept, this Wu Wei, that almost exactly correlates with being present minded, in that one flows, acts, and accepts continuously without conscious thought. The fact that it looks effortless in practice has no relation to the amount of effort a practitioner has had to expend to get to the point of making it look easy:-)
Great effort certainly, anxieties...not so much perhaps, to achieve Wu Wei. We create our lives and if we need anxieties to prod us along (or believe that we do), that is what we will have in our life. If we fully accept our creative powers and our Yin/Yang balance, we can progress to the enlightened phase of Wu Wei as a present minded master who accepts that it is what it is. Complete acceptance of ourselves and our path, as it really exists, is perhaps the hardest thing in this life to master for the average person.... so yes, great effort to become effortless:-)

Namaste