Am I Overthinking About My Autistic Son’s Future?
Ahmad Ziqri Morshidi accused of molesting a woman
Am I Overthinking About My Autistic Son’s Future?
By nature, I am quite meticulous. When I am planning something for example a holiday abroad, I do a lot of research and planning. A lot of thinking is put in so that things will turn out as planned. For my recent trip to Busan, I made a day to day schedule which included which train or bus to take.
Recently an 22 year old autistic man, Ahmad Ziqri Morshidi from Kuala Lumpur was charged in court for alleging touching the chest of a girl. The autistic man had to spent a night at the lock up and when he was charged in court the next day, he was handcuffed and dressed in an orange prison clothes. I watched the video of the incident and the accused looked so spaced out and lost, he really did not understand what was going on. I can easily imagine that it was my autistic Jonathan who was charged in court. At times when I passed someone sleeping in the street, I would sometimes ask myself, “Would this too happen to Jonathan when Roselind, my wife and I are not around?”
The biggest worry that Roselind and I had is about Jonathan’s future when both of us are not around. Who will care for him? Will he have a roof over his head? Who will provide for his basic needs? Will Jonathan have enough food? For parents who have disabled children, this type of worry is quite common and understandable. But the question still arises; Am I overthinking about my autistic son’s future?
Jonathan is still not independent and lacked the basic skills to live independently. Thus worrying about is him especially when me and Roselind are not around is quite natural. I also know that worrying does not really help and that Roselind and I should instead focus on building Jonathan’s self-help and living skills so that he can be more independent. But knowing one thing and doing one thing is very different. A lot of us know things on a theoretical level but actually doing these things is a very different matter altogether.
Yes, I do need to think about and plan for Jonathan’s future. I want to put things in place so that he can lead a happy and stable lifestyle after both Roselind and I are gone. But how much thinking becomes too much thinking? Where do I draw the line? This not an easy question to answer. I suppose that as long as the thinking and worrying does not overwhelm me then I am not overthinking about my autistic son’s future. So what do you think? Do you also overthink? What are the things that you overthink about? Do put your thoughts in the comment section.
If you want to learn some strategies to stop overthinking, please read my next post
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I have so much respect for you as an autism parent! I can't imagine the stress you handle on a daily basis. I just recently visited my friend who also has a boy, actually already an adult who has autism. Wac thing them struggle just to feed some food into him I cried... I dont know if your country has some sort of warfare for this type of family to build their future... at least some financial surety. Love and hugs!!!
Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. It is not easy to be the parents of an autistic son. Things that others take for granted are sometimes a struggle for us. We are just living life one day at a time.
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Hey, I'm a father of 4 boys, 3 of them are autistic. They're 10, 8 and 7. My youngest, the 4yr old is a normal bright young boy. It's easy to feel depressed but I need to do my absolute best in taking care of them and prepare them as much for adulthood. But I think the most important thing is figuring out how to create a good society for them to grow up in. Other disabilities are easily recognizable, but with autism you need to give that someone a good second look. It's obvious that awareness level in this country is utterly low. But organizations out there like NASOM are always in deficit due to lack of support and donations. Which had lead them to close down 3 centers early 3rd quarter this year. I wonder how the working parents are going to keep up without those day care / therapy centers. I did try to help them by taking them to a major corporate for CSR funds, but was turned down. I wish there are other ways I can help, but with 3 autistic young boys to look after, all I can offer is my sympathy and prayers to all other autistic person and parents as well. The emotional burden is of another level. Thinking about the inevitable future of my sons is just unbearable. Staying positive is a real challenge. there is no other option but to care and love them as long as I'm alive for them, and there's really no control of what's gonna happen to them after both me and my wife is no longer around.
My heart goes out to you and your family. Coping with one autistic son is tough enough and I can't imagine how difficult it is to cope with 3. We do what we can and leave the rest to God
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I don't think there should be a limit to thinking about this.
Better to be over prepared than under I would say.
I myself am autistic aged 28, I'm on the high functioning side of things, My problems manifest as mainly difficulties in social situation, reading intent and emotions, interaction face to face and talking to people. It's exceptionally stressful and exhausting. I rarely leave the house or interact with other people other than on the internet.
I currently live with my father who cares for me, deals with the shopping and welfare paperwork and a host of other things.
I honestly can't think about what would happen if my dad died, I'd probably try and continue as I am but I feel like I'd burn out and break down before long. Time will tell though until then I'll work on becoming more independent.
In regards to your son, you just have to do as much as you can. You are already doing a fantastic job that much I can already tell. You can try and teach him as many basic things as possible if he is able to learn and retain that information, if he's on the low functioning high needs side of the spectrum then the alternative is introducing a 3rd party carer you trust or something along those lines.
Anyways, Keep up the good work and thanks for the fantastic post. I always enjoy reading other peoples experiences with autism.
It is good to hear from you and I have followed you to keep in touch. Unfortunately my son is low functioning so there is a lot more I need to work with him. I am exploring what are the options for Jonathan when my wife and I are not around.
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Thank you
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I understand you are worried about the future of your son. But do not be frustrated - I hope God surely will do good to him.
Turning to God is what has help me cope on a daily basis.
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I don't believe you are over thinking. I believe that you are thinking correctly because you care so much. I totally understand you as I also have a special needs child. I have the same thoughts, fears, and concerns that you have.
The future of our special needs children is always on the mind of their parents.
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Will pray for your son bro. I knew the struggle to take Care him. But surely he is the angel from God..
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Oh yes Jonathan is an angel from God.Thank you for your prayers.
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Amen
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Nice post
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Thanks. Glad that you liked it
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Can i get a upvote pls
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Can i get a upvote pls
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what an interesting insight into the mind of a parent raising an autistic child. great way to stay positive
Thank you. I need to stay positive for my own sake and for my son.
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indeed and remember Autism often is a side effect of hyper intelligence in some form or another. your say may have talents that haven't shown yet. keep up the good work, we support your efforts :)
A lot of people with autism have savant skills. My son does not have savant skills but he is really good at jigsaw puzzles
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