Ashes to Beauty-Poem

Holding on, dreaming, desiring to be what's deep inside of me.

But I can't, no matter how hard I try, money, house, American pride, still broken inside.

Escape, just want to escape, help me can't you see, I'm so broken, drowning in the sea.

I want to give her what she wants, but two clipped wings, I can't seem to launch. So I blame everyone, and everything, while deep down creating a hatred of me, why can't I be?

Collapsing walls all around, falling free from a tree, like a leaf only the ground I see. Screaming, in the nightmare, realizing I can't escape.

Escape, just want to escape, help me can't you see, I'm so broken drowning in the sea.

I close my eyes, and picture my 2 angels, hold on I say, one more fight! Tears uncontrollable, pain unmanageable, I find strength minute by minute. Hold on, fight!

Prison within prisons, finally painfully, realize just can't escape:
Childhood sexual abuse, shattered dreams, brokenness never let anyone see. Rejection, bitterness, resentment:
I finally vent! Wow, do I hate me.

Then finally breakthrough, I can see. Yes, yes, I can be free, must first learn to love me!

Prison doors opened, I am, and can be, that man deep in me. Loved by my God and me, I am set free!

Much love and blessings💓