Seven easy-to-use communication skills make it easier for us to communicate with friends in our daily lives.
Seven easy-to-use communication skills make it easier for us to communicate with friends in our daily lives.
- Adjust your emotions to control communication
Sometimes chatting with friends, the more anxious a friend speaks, the more annoying I listen to, the more my friends find that I don't want to listen, the speed of speech becomes faster and more anxious, I suddenly relax myself and find that my friends have slowed down and adjusted. Your own emotions will affect the emotions of the other party and thus change the direction of communication. There is an interesting example. Once I think my friend's speech is too slow, I use my left index finger to tap the thigh to beat, first with his speaking speed, then speed up, and his rhythm will be accelerated. - Express your emotions, feelings, and thoughts instead of judging each other.
Both physically and psychologically. Judging can make each other nervous, allowing communication to enter a defensive mode, making continued communication inefficient or even harmful. - Listen carefully, believe what others must convey
I used to listen to others and always felt that others were more nonsense and meaningless. Later, I found that each expression has a deep meaning. If I understand this meaning, I will understand him better and improve my relationship. For example, my friend is very excited to introduce which bar song is the best. I feel it carefully. She wants to provide me with some valuable information and establish a relationship with me. So I also worked very hard with her, listening to her, I also cooperated to build relationships, not really want to go to the bar. Everyone's words and deeds express their own consciousness, or subconscious, but also deeply identify the purpose and meaning behind the discourse. - Focus on relationships, not content
I talked with my friends and talked about a theory of psychology. The atmosphere was a bit awkward. I felt that I played the role of a mentor. After a while, in order to balance, he also published his life. I know that what we said is not important, he does not like being guided. So, I decisively stopped the exchange of such content and began to talk about jokes. Our inner need for relationships is like the body needs air. Relationships have always been the underlying tone of our communication. If we can identify the language of relation, we can reduce the consumption of content. - Learn to forgive, no longer negating others' denial.
One day, I gave my wife advice, let her rest early and don't look at the phone before going to bed. My attitude is not very good. My wife is very annoyed. She complained to me in the morning and complained about how the ex-girlfriend was, then We should not get married. I used to argue with her, I would feel that I had messed up again, or even really thought, my fucking is really a fool. That day, I learned to forgive myself, believe in myself, and stop accepting others’ denials. Let her go and say, I slowly wash, do not respond, after the washing is over, she is ready to communicate with me solemnly, feeling that it is to negotiate, this time I used her hand to say, tonight 10: 00 I will give you a massage so that you will sleep better. She became a little girl in seconds and nothing happened. In the practice of psychology, I can understand and accept others if I can understand and accept everything. - Do not interfere with the choices of others
I used to like to interfere with other people's little things. When an old friend smoked, worried that I would criticize him, he said defensively, how do you plan to help me quit smoking? I said that the smoke is very important to you. I will not force you to interfere with you. His expression is awkward. He has not heard anyone support him. Even if he is a friend, I am afraid that he will only helplessly, but he will still smoke. Psychology believes that people are doing their best to appease their emotions. At this time, don't add pressure to him anymore. - Understand others with your own emotions.
Emotion is the most important tool for us to understand ourselves and others. When communicating, we should think and feel from the perspective of the other side. We are emotional, and emotion is the most important bridge in our communication. It is the expression of true feelings without skill just the inner resonance.