Roadkill and Dying Dreams
Waynesboro, Virginia is a town of many terrible restaurant choices, but you could hardly do worse than The Fishin' Pig. It was quite possibly the most disappointing meal I've had in my life.
For those unaware, The Pickin Pig is a themed restaurant off of I-64 in Waynesboro, tucked away behind a motel and a go kart track. I'm not entirely sure what the theme was supposed to be, but if I had to venture a guess it was probably: roadkill and dying dreams.
The inside of the restaurant looked like it was going to be used in a reboot of the movie Tremors. The corrugated roofing and exposed plywood really give off a the cozy feeling of backwoods incest and giant worms that perfectly reflected the service and food.
The waitress seemed nice I guess, I dunno, I never really met her. She took my order and then disappeared, possibly to rethink her life decisions because every time I saw her afterwards she had a more and more disconcerted look on her face. Every day at The Pig n Fig is most likely a rabbit hole of depression and disappointment where the waitress knows full well that just outside the front door is the highway, freedom, and a new start. But no, she's here taking your order for a "Fancy Nancy" and popping Xanax in the walk-in.
The cup of soapy water I got was very refreshing and intriguing. The mystery of whether I crap my pants later due to the dish soap filled cup of backwash or the pickles deep fried in hair grease was plenty of excitement for me. Wow! Eating at The Piggin Fish is like playing a game of Guess Who and you're trying to figure out which part of the meal gave you diarrhea.
Every meal sounded like it was named after the owner's personal favorite lot lizard. I ordered the Mindy or whatever it was called because I certainly couldn't tell by eating it. The best word I could used to describe it is: brown. It tasted like the inside of The Pick n Rig looks: failed marriages as far as the eye could see and WNBA on the bar television screen. Your average customer of the Pissed N Big possibly finds this place an adventuresome alternative to their weekly date night at Applebee's.
I'm not saying don't eat here, but you do have to pass by literally every other restaurant on the way there and, well, that's on you, man.
Wow, tell us how you really feel! :) It is always disappointing when a place like this turns out to be less than stellar. Especially since it is supposedly local and not the common chain joints that you see all over the place. I guess the benefit you get with chain places is that they generally have some strict standards that they are supposed to at least try to hold up to. A place like this is really only controlled by the health department and the local inspector is probably the owners second cousins daughters wife.
It sounds like you had a bad experience which sucks but your description and review is hilarious ahaha. "Road kill and broken dreams" "failed marriages as far as the eye can see" hahaha so many great lines in there. That cup of soapy water is actually disturbing to me. Wow. I dont even understand that...
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Whoa. That sounds like an awful experience. Your review is pretty funny though. I actually laugh out loud. Not at your misfortune of course, at the your descriptions
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