Talking to Myself

Let's talk about you for a minute. YOU are fucking amazing. I wish we told each other this more often!

Excuse the language. It's not meant to turn you away. Truth be told, swears point me in the other direction. I walk away from people with dirty mouths. I was taught to speak "properly," but it is more than that.

I must have started typing this ten times. Words are tricky. I spent a long time in a home with a man who said he loved me while he tore me down. I've learned he is a typical narcissist. He built himself up at my expense. I fell in deep. I got used to the cursing and it being directed at me. Okay, fine. That's true. That's me. I'm a bitch. You are right.

My friends saw what was happening. Most of them disappeared. I can't blame them for being afraid. It must have been hard to watch my life. I folded up as small as possible and chose to never push back. I didn't believe I could.

I don't know how much it is safe to share. I need to share. I cannot keep talking to myself. I have two friends left, but I have leaned on them so much.

I don't know what my point it here. I had to go back to look. I am happy to be talking to you. You are amazing. Fucking amazing. It is hard to say it that way, but I am taking that word back and the others that came at me.

I wish it could be more in this image. I see others sharing their faces. I am hopeful the day will come for me when I am safe and free again. I hope this "kiss" reaches you. It feels scary to share it, honestly. Like he could find me by my lipstick even though I just got it. I can't keep living in this mental box.

Be excellent to each other,

Dani