Why do people lie?

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Lying is something we all have done in the past, it's something everyone does, even children. Lying is a bad habit that can be cultivated quickly by children, kids of around 7years tend to start lying at this point in their lives because they see others doing it. Children learn from what they see and not what they are told, so if mum says everything is okay with a weary eye, then they know mum is lying. Kids are very smart and can dictate our moves even before we make them. As kids, they tend to learn different lies as seen from people around them. They are told that everything is okay even when it is not, taught to be strong when deep down they are weak and vulnerable. So, in a nutshell they learn how to lie about their feelings.

How and why do we lie?

Over time, we learn that for us to get what we want as humans, we have to make up the truth so that what will want will come to us. In relationships, we lie to our partners to save them the stress of being hurt and emotionally unstable. We also lie about material things like; how much the skirt cost, how much we drink and many more. All these lies are for the comfort of our partners, because they might feel hurt if told the truth. Some lies are told as a result of insecurity or the feeling that you are not wanted. Fabricated stories and exaggeration are also under the umbrella of lying. Most times we become so used to this habit that we don't even know when we are lying, it has fully become part of us. If we fabricate a story and tell it to someone, we also have to lie to defend the lie.

Can it be stopped?

Many people lie because of the fear of rejection. It will be very difficult to start telling the truth for these kind of persons. Truth is, we can take everything personally and assume that they do too. For instance, if you are offered an apple and you do not feel like eating it, the person that served the apple will understand that you didn't reject them, rather you did not feel like eating. Similarly, if asked to do something against your wish and you refuse, and then the other person gets angry over your decision, you need not worry about that, let the anger be theirs rather than lying.

We lie to please people.

It takes courage and boldness to say what you mean and mean what you say without any form of fear whatsoever. However, when you are living a truthful and authentic life, they tend to know when you are not honest with them because they have known you as someone who doesn't lie. Learning to not lie is a gradual and difficult process that takes meekness and realizing why you started lying in the first place.

If you were taught to hide your feelings, you need to stop lying and come out plain and honest about your feelings. It isn't easy but it requires a lot of time and patience with both yourself and others. Most persons lie to make themselves feel free and better at the detriment of whom they tell the lie to. Imagine if we have a world that everyone in it is honest and authentic.