The Talk With A Friend's Dad - COM 16

In the past few months since I changed locations, i have witnessed a lot of crazy. As they say, when located where thing happen, You eventually tend to happen (no one says that, but it sounds good).

Src

Onitsha, the entrepreneurial capital of East Nigeria, with no blueprint for fun or urban pleasure, just work and bars to drink your daily wages off.

Then there's Akwa the las vegas of ANS. Clubs, casino's, hotels, whore houses, even Universities, you name it, all places to get grooving. Onitsha to Akwa is a 44km journey, approximatly 1hr 30min by our fantastic roads.

So I got a new friend in town, a son of the CEO to some Food Spice Conglomerate.
Dude said he liked my style, I don't talk much and would be good to know a devious person.
Devious... well, whatever money calls you, you best answer.

It's friday and my rich ass friend, Uche says he's broke, said he's only got #70000 ie $200 (I guess he doesn't know what broke means).
Anyway, he informs me of his plan to extort cash from his wandering dad, as he alway does to keep a shut.
The Rich and their love for clubs, the only thing worse than getting ripped off by a stripper, is having your Son find you at the club.

It's dark and off we are to the club.
A 90mins journey to our mission point.
We arrive at the club, where Uche spots his bouncer friend who presents us with highly classified intel on a high profile.

Briefing time: The Oblivion Effect (with the mission impossible theme song playing in the background).
Mission description: Extort atlest N200000 ($600) from the high profile target.

Mission is a Go
Into the club I went, towards the target, with a look of oblivion on my face as I purposely stumble upon him.

"Good evening Papa Uche... sorry sir..... sorry Oga, I mean Boss"
"Shut Up, Is my Son here"
"Emmm.. I don't... I don't think so"
"What are you doing here, aren't you supposed to be in Onitsha"
"I came to buy wine"
"Wine? What wine"
"Emm.. Green Label"
"There's no Wine or Hot, with that name"
"Are sure you sir"
"I am"
"I guess you should know better"
"What did you say"
"Nothing Sir, since I didn't find the wine I'll be leaving now... going home..... back to onitsha..... to tell Uche..... he sent me.... at your home..... that I didn't see the wine.... in the ktchen..... where he said he was...... with mom..... and Whitney, your fine daughter...."
"Oh, my boy, are you going so soon, let me give you something for your transportation fare"
He says bringing out a stack of Real Paper

"Here's #250000 ($700) for your transport and another #250000 for Uche, wherever he might be"
"Wow.. thank you sir"
"Yes... Yes... Goodbye"
"I will not tell your wife you said Hi, I mean I will.... emm.. let me just go, bye"
"And remember, you didn't see the wine or anything"
"Yes... infact, I never left Onitsha"

As I made my way to the rear entrance of the club, Uche chattered with anxiety
"Did it work?"
"Yes mehn"
"Now, time for the real partying"

This was the easiest $700 in my life, I might have to start clubbing where Dad's do.

I nominate @udembahenry and @chukwunalu to come choke on comedyopenmics Com.dy