Dialogue of Mind

The heat began to enter my room. The window curtains of my room kept shut. The atmosphere of the room was a bit stuffy, but I let it go. The circumstances around did not have much effect. I was lost in my mind. My mind drifted here and there, as if my head was a cotton that the wind blew easily. Melamum has become a habit for me, when faced with a problem. Daydreaming is a fun job, because I can reach whatever I want, even if it's just a fantasy.

Today is not as usual, because my daydreaming was lively and real. This afternoon my daydream was not a daydream but a real reality, even myself as a real loser from my daydreaming. I wondered and asked myself, "What kind of feeling is this? Why is this daydream so real? "I tried to find the cause, but the result was nil. I did not find anything.

"Shit, so headache."



My reverie that afternoon, as if summarizing all my previous reveries. This is about the content of my daydreaming.

"Damn why all this always happens and happened to me. Everything I've done, as if only lead to futility. Whatever I try always fails. "
"Why are you pessimistic, your work just complaining every day."
"Do not bother me anymore, Optimist. Let me alone this time. Please give me some privacy. You and I have lived a long time in Andi's mind, even though you've got room allotted in this child's mind, so do not disturb me again and go back to your room !!!! "
"That's what I'm asking you. I do not mean to scratch you. As a long-lived imaginary figure in Andi's head, I want to help you. "
"I do not need help. Already, take care of your own business !!! "

That afternoon Andi daydreaming two figures who are arguing in his mind. The figure was named Optimistic and Pessimistic. For some reason, Andi felt the two figures so alive in his mind. The figure was arguing and arguing with each other. Andi just be a passive audience to see both. Andi did not want to separate the two, for him the battle of the two figures into a dialectic that can make his mind more mature.

"I will not leave until you tell me your problem."
"You baseball! Hi optimist listen carefully. Your self-confident nature will hurt you one day. So I remind you once again, do not you feel that life is just straight like a highway, so change your character even if only a little. "
"But I helped you a lot, when you had a lot of trouble. Besides, if I want to change my self-confidence, I'm sorry I will not. It has become my nature. From the moment I was born, I've been blessed with this trait. this is innate. "
"Okay if you insist, but remember do not argue with me. I'm lazy to argue with you today. "
"Okay I'll try."

He pulled a long breath from his mouth, "You must remember Andy's meeting with Indro this afternoon."
Optimist nodded slowly.
"I still remember with his words about work. You know, that our master, Andi is troubled by the difficulty of finding work, but Indro is simply saying things that hurt him. Indro's words are still ringing in my mind when he talks like this, 'You should not have to go to the jobfair. You already know the experience of your class brothers who already know the actual jobfair system. The companies actually did not open vacancies, they were forced to open the vacancy on the basis of government pressure to open jobs. I'm sure your cover letter is just a pile of paper that is ignored, even thrown into the trash. 'Honestly I was offended to hear that word, but I caught the truth of the remark. You remember how many times our master came to the jobfair. I'm sure you will not remember, because so much. The real reality in the world of work is cruel. It's just a lie. "
Hearing it Optimistic seemed unable to resist it, but he tried to be silent, according to his promise.

"You remember how many times you have whispered in your master's head. How many times huh? I'm sure you must have forgotten, because the sking number. And so much you have cruelly deceived our master. Open your eyes wide Optimist, reality is not always in line with what you expect. "
"But do not you," Optimist tried to interrupt the pessimistic words.
"It's been quiet for a while. I'm still not done! "

The passenger who had been talking nonstop tired. Everything said like a bullet that machine-gun spewed out, no pause until the ammunition was completely exhausted. After a moment's thought, the pessimist resumes. Other unek-unek ready dilontarkanya to Optimist.
"Do you also remember the incident a few weeks ago? Remember not !!! "
The optimist just froze, like a schoolboy shouted by his teacher for not doing homework.
"Can not remember. Okay let me remind you again, so you will be more aware with all the nonsense you convey to Andi. Do you remember a woman named Laila? "
With his face downcast, Optimist tried to remember. Pessimists give time for Optimistic thinking. "Let me give him time to remember, if you still do not remember too, then it can be ascertained, Optimist does not have a brain and this jutru justify my hypothesis so far, that Optimist only act with feelings without involving reason," said pessimist in the heart .

Optimist's face looks a little brighter, seen he began to remember with a girl named Laila who mentioned Pessimists. As if getting a bit of victory, Optimist dared to look slightly pessimistic and nodded his head, as a sign that he remembered with a girl named Laila.

"Of all the faults, it is your fault associated with a girl named Laila, unforgivable. For three years, you with your sweet tongue lied Andi. "
Optimistic as a nail stuck in the log, silent and not fight when hit. The silence taken Optimist, instead of indicating that Optimists are afraid of pessimists. Optimists are just waiting for the right opportunity to dispute all pessimistic statements.

"You whispered that Laila liked Andi, when she first met, when Andi was in high school. You fire the spirit, so Andi chasing Laila. The fire is always you blow repeatedly, until the beginning is only a small fire and then become an enormous fire. The impact is on the content of the head Andi only Laila, until the school is abandoned. If there were other men who had approached Laila, Andi seemed to be crazy. The worst of it all, when Andi asked some money to his parents, the money was spelled out for school purposes, but in fact the money was used to buy a mobile phone for Laila, because Andi knew Laila's mobile phone was broken at the time. You've taught Andi to lie to his parents !!! "
Breath pessimism began to pant, after throwing all its ills. Seeing the pessimist is getting tired of talking, Optimist began to speak up, "Already? Now, may I speak? "
With annoyed face, pessimists replied, "Whatever"

"Before I apologized to you, if these past few years, I have made you upset. I honestly did not expect it to happen to Andi. Maybe you're right, I rarely act with my wits and that's one of my weaknesses, but it's already my nature and I can not change it. "
The pessimist listened indifferently, but it was clear that the victory was shining in the face of a pessimist.
"Honestly, I'm offended to hear all your allegations against me, especially about Andi who has lied to his parents. But may I be a little defensive? My defense should not be considered a form of cover-up. I did feel a part, if Andi made a mistake, but was I the only cause of all that? "
Pessimists began to see no resistance given Optimistic.

"I'm sure you're still accusing me of causing Andi's misfortune, but let's get the two issues straight, so your eyes can open wide. Let's talk about the job and Laila, for another matter, we'll talk about it later. "
"All right, though I hate you very much, but I give you a chance to talk."
"Thank you. First thing about work. You've spoken at length. You said that I whispered the futility to Andi who always came to the jobfair. I explained earlier that I acted with feeling, not with reason. And for this matter you have seen with your own eyes that Andi has sent many job applications, but still no calling. "
As if not willing to surrender, Optimist continued his interrupted utterance for a moment, "You see it yourself, with Andi's reaction after that? She's desperate. The spirit fire that once existed to get work after college, seemed to be extinguished. Even from the despair it arises thinkers to commit suicide. Do you realize that's a pessimist? "
Optimists managed to get attention from Pessimists. He was beginning to feel that Optimist's words had a point.
"So what I want to emphasize here is that I just want to keep Andi from doing the wrong thing."



"Then how did you explain Laila?"
"About laila, hmmm. Actually, I do not want to tell him more details about this, but to clear up the problem, all right, I'll explain. Andi was born an introvert, me and you know that. The introverted nature makes Andi often dibully in class. Andi is considered by his theme as a strange person, because he does not want to mingle. As a result of the treatment of his friends, Andi felt depressed and wanted to quit school. To prevent that intention, I whispered to Andi the confidence to pursue Laila's love, Andi's schoolmate. My goal is to make Andi feel at home in school. "
"I know your intentions are good, but I still have not received any consequences, because of your actions."
The optimist who heard it, began to provoke his emotions, but he tried to keep it. According to him, pessimists are no better than him. In fact, he also wanted to throw his plight into the pessimist, but he realized it would only make things more chaotic.

Now what do you want from me, pessimist? "
"I want you to get out of Andi's life. I want you to get away, you've made Andi lullaby with all your nonsense !!! "
That word is unacceptable to Optimists. The anger he had been trying to keep harmony awake had begun to falter. Her pride has felt trampled.
A high-pitched optimist said, "You idiot, are you aware of what you say huh? If one of us is lost or dead, then Andi will be an incomplete person. Andi could experience shocks in his soul, even worse andi could be mentally ill. "
"Hahahahaha, Optimist base, look who's stupid now. You with your nature, dare say that Andi will go crazy. How arrogant you are, as you say it will come true. You've forgotten or pretended to forget hah !!! All of your predictions, previously rarely proven, even tend to harm Andi. Get away from Andi, if you still love him. "
"Will not!!!"
Both hears are fierce, even to involve physical fighting. Andi who just became the audience began dizzy and nauseated, saw both of them quarreled.

Rani is busy cooking in the kitchen. Andi's sister is already 15 years old. In addition to school, helping parents in the kitchen has become part of the routine. That afternoon Rani was cooking sour vegetables and salted fish. Mom is used to leaving Rani to cook herself, because Rani has been accustomed to helping her mother in the kitchen since the age of ten. Spices and cooking recipes are already outside his head.

"Alhamdulillah, finally matured too. Bu this vegetable as the raw fish is ripe, "shouted Rani from the kitchen.
Mother who was busy watching soap operas, shouted from the living room, "Yeah, just put it on the dining table. Ran, call your sister in the room, order to eat. Since early in the morning, it works just in the room and keeps the boy. "
"Yes, ma'am."

Tok, tok, tok. The sound of a knock on the door came from outside Andi's room. No answer from inside. "Maybe my sister was asleep, so please let me in," thought rani.
Andi's door was unlocked. The door of the room was opened by Rani, and immediately there was a heavy air in Andi's room and began to burst out of the room. Rani was surprised to see Andi.
"Sister !!!"
Rani keget see Andi's condition is being cramp. Andi's eyes bulged and his mouth dropped open. Rani confused and afraid to see her brother.

Her mother who was engrossed in watching soap operas was surprised by Rani's shout from inside Andi's room.
"What is Ran !!!?"
"This is Mom, Brother seizures."
"Quick Call Mr. Joni, the doctor left at the next RT!"
"Iy-yes ma'am."
"Rani !!!! Wait a minute. Later after you call Mr. Joni, you find the info where the rehabilitation is nearby. Do not let other people know, if you're looking for a place of rehabilitation, find the info on the internet alone !!! "
"Yes, ma'am, but where is the rehabilitation for?"
"Do not ask a lot, you quickly go to Mr. Joni's house. Now !!! "

Beside Andi's stiffening body, it appears by his mother a syringe and a small plastic package. His mother's guess was true. Tears streamed from Mom's eyes.

"Forgive your mother, son. Mother is not a good mother, but why do you have to imitate the behavior of your father who is now in prison confinement. "