I had been intensely quiet for the past few weeks.I am undergoing a lot of transitions right now. I am still currently waiting for my registration to be done.The paper works are really mind boggling. I even started hunting for jobs. I was initially upset because, I feel that I am going through this alone. But it was my choice by the way. Due to all the crazy people that I have encountered lately, I thought that doing everything else alone is the best thing.

I can probably say that as of now, I was able to survive because I am very happy with the choices I made and, these happened to me:

I get to recharge.

I am not a completely antisocial person. But if I feel that your personality clashes with mine, I will always minimally expose myself to you. Being alone made me recharge my energy. I feel that the energy I used to please, pay attention, anticipate, accompany anyone is instead utilized to nurture me. I get to enjoy doing the things that I normally do minus the company. But the pleasure is still there- minus the stress of making sure that everyone is happy.

I stopped apologizing.

Since I am doing things alone these days, I get to make choices without offending anyone. I am brazenly unapologetic. Though the impact of some of my decisions might have affected others, being alone made me realize this- its sometimes beneficial to cater me first before anyone else. Being alone meant this: I do not need to apologize for possibly offending anyone.

I stopped seeking validation.

I never even realized before that the reason why I want to be with others was this: validation. I need to hear from everyone that I am making the right choice, that I am doing this correctly. It is a cultural thing and, the fact that my mom tried to instill this on me instead of encouraging me to be more independent and self sufficient was detrimental to my psyche growing up.

Misery loves company.

Growing up, have you ever done anything with your friends or family which resulted with an adult getting upset? Perhaps intentionally picking all the leaves and flowers from your next door neighbor's plants or maybe, leaving a mess in the kitchen after eating or making something?

What I observed from people is that, they feel more comfortable and at ease when they are not alone in their miseries. I too would feel the same because then, I get an instant support. But the thing is, sometimes, having someone with you all the time inhibits your creativity and problem solving skills. Sometimes, you become more and more dependent with each other that in the end, nothing is accomplished or if there's anything done, it would only be done minimally.

I get to learn new skills

I think that partly, I had been doing things on my own for quite awhile now. But consciously knowing that I made a choice to do this alone- with no help as much as possible is liberating. Being alone prompted me to learn quite a few skills from learning how to obtain my tax file number to simple things like learning how to cook or balance my finances.

I get to practice self love.

In my culture, self love is akin to selfishness. For me, being alone meant that I get to listen to me more. I get to do things that makes me happy and comfortable. I get to prioritize me.Looking at the whole picture, I realized this: when I practice self love, I get to be more happy and comfortable in my own skin.

Suddenly, what matters most in this world is what I think. Not what others expect or think.

Being alone does not mean being lonely.

I get it. Some people strongly equate being alone to loneliness. Probably because they never learned how to do that. I myself had been conditioned to believe that I am lonely because I am alone.I really tried to fit in to be in company with others. But the thing is, sometimes, its easier to be by yourself rather than investing my energy in pleasing others. Its called trying to get along actually.

I do not feel depressed or I am missing out on anything. I do not also feel disconnected with the world. I do not feel unhappy. Rather, I find the whole experience liberating.

In the past, I have always been puzzled with people who go on retreats alone for a few days or even a few months. I sometimes cannot get the idea why someone would intentionally live alone isolated from the rest of the world. Now, I get it. When you're alone, you get to see the world in a different perspective. You get to make a choice strongly influenced by you.You get to listen to your yourself and you get to learn to love you more. Being in the company of others might be beneficial but learning to be alone and staying at tuned with your inner self is more important.

I really never expected me to say this but, I am going to say it anyway: when you feel lonely or stressed I highly recommend to try being alone for awhile. Maybe what's causing these are the company you keep. Try it. Its not deadly. Its not dangerous. Its liberating.