OLD POST: WHAT IF

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What if you woke up one morning, and I told you that all we’ve ever had, all the moments we ever shared was nothing but a sick joke. What if I told you that I’ve been playing your love all this while, that I have been gambling with your heart—playing it safe like they would say—scarifying your happiness for my convenience.

What if I told you I loved you but was unsure? So I decided to consider my options. I loved you still, but I wasn’t ready to commit. I mean no disrespect when I say you’re not the type I could take home to mama, or show to my friend because they will ever approve of you. But it doesn’t matter, right? No one has to know that I love and adore you. So let’s just keep things on the low, and act like nothing is going between us. We just sneak into our beds at night and act like strangers during the day. I don’t have to tell anyone that you’re with me, while in fact you’re just right in front of me…I’ll just tag you as a girl I know, and that’s all anyone would know about us.

What if I have been lying all this while? I mean really big fat lies…about let’s say cheating—sleeping around while I bragged about being faithful and loyal. What if I’m not the man you think I am. Would you be surprised if I told you that I’ve found someone, long before I met you? Someone who I intend to spend the rest of my life with, and you have and will forever be an option to me.

What if I told you there was no future for us, just because I can’t afford to sacrifice my needs for yours, and I thought it was selfish of you to demand such from me. We are merely two naive people, whose path accidentally crossed. And one day, evidently, we would be on our own separate path, trying to figure our lives as separate individuals. So what else can I offer you but my half-hearted love, time, and affection? It won’t make any difference trying to figure this out, because we were never meant to be, we just happened, and for some unknown reason, it feels wonderful. I swear this is different—something special, but it far from ‘forever’ and ‘ï do’. Believe me, there were times when I thought otherwise, but I had to face reality, and it’s not one of the most pleasant faces you would ever see.

What if I was so honest to myself to admit that this…us was a sham, an escape to pleasure, and I paid more attention to the orifice that’s between your legs than anything else.

What if I told you that I knew I was going to hurt you and did it anyway. Would that really make me a bad person?
What if I told you that you make me feel all these things and more? Would you still feel better about yourself?

© nonsowrites

prynczzwonda.wordpress.com 2016

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Also posted here: https://steemit.com/writing/@nonsowrites/flash-fiction-what-if-3ced33ee8888a

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