"It's Not a Fried Egg," Said the Talking Fish
Icehole Awareness Month
Good day to you, fish of all sizes, and how are we today?
That's good. We gather here today to learn about iceholes!
~wait for applause
That's right, but this won't be the same old conventional approach you've all become accustomed to, oh no it won't. Today we learn about the dangers. In particular, everything you should know about eating hookers out by the icehole.
Never Eat Hookers Out by the Icehole
That's all there really is to know. Keep away from the icehole hookers at all costs. Don't put their worms in your mouth. Don't even so much as nibble. Unclean! One taste is all it takes to get hooked.
Come With Me (but stay close)
There's a new icehole nearby. Let's go in for a closer look, shall we?
Everyone be quiet! If you listen closely, you'll be able to hear the Up Dwellers. Those are the one's responsible for trafficking these hookers. They're bad news. Anyone who comes back from their place has trouble speaking and quickly leaves the area. We never get a chance to ask how it was but many assume the experience was somehow traumatic, to say the least.
Shhh! Can you hear them?
Martha! Where's my lighter! Martha!
Ernest! You had it last! It's in your god damn pocket!
Martha! Sorry! It was in my pocket!
Ernest! Your beard is on fire! Stick your head down the hole!
Ahhhhh!
Swim for your lives!
I was greatly entertained, and then I finally made sense of your username after seeing this:-
instead of this one:-
was pronouncing it as left-touse in my head all along.. side effects of speed-reading. #unnecessaryexplanation
Don't worry. Some people thought it said house at the end. People mess up my real name too. Good times!
I had the same "thing" when i saw "bieber" back then..
"Things" happen... especially when the Biebs is around.
The Bieb?? Ow, the common side effect from coming to your page is a stomach cramp, you'd think with all the laughter I'm doing that damn muscle would toughen up!
OMG....Lol. Too damned funny. I love it. Shared to FB, Twitter and re-steemed.
Thanks for enjoying that one! I don't really have much to say about it other than my mind likes to wander when I fish. People from a warmer climate might be slightly confused...
I live in Idaho I understand.....Staring into the hole.....It kinda gets a-hole of you.
I think I shall follow you.
Saskatchewan here... and I stared into that hole nearly all weekend. Thanks for the follow.
There are a lot of iceholes this time of year...must be the weather.
A couple years ago I nearly lost a friend to ice fishing. He went out alone, which I happen to think is just as bad as kids swimming alone (that's me giving you crap if you went alone), he fell through, he unbelievably got out even though his muscles were so locked he couldn't stand afterward.
We drive out. If the truck goes through the ice, it makes a big enough hole to crawl out of.
Oh come on, the first line was funny!
And the 'we' part of your statement is the important part ;)
Going alone means drinking alone, on the middle of a lake... in the middle of nowhere. Of course that's a bad idea. Might end up taking a bear home.
Or the Bieb.
Your distracted inattention in combination with the copious amounts of alcohol I've drank has prompted me to do this.
Finally! This blog felt incomplete without the The Biebs himself.
My alcohol induced state almost caused me to write back I Love You. Hahaha! I do love your blog, your comment section...and okay maybe you too ;) Don't freak out, lol! The Biebs! (That's my change of subject)
OMG I can't stop laughing
Those iceholes and nasty hookers definitely leave scars, irritation, and unmentionables that itch.
This is good icehole information. I forgot to mention the unmentionables! I'm glad someone said something.
That prompted a snort. The highest form of laughter...
Oh wait, my mistake. The highest form of laughter is laughing till you slide off the chair, and then morphing to uncontrollable snorting.
The single snort of delighted surprise is the laziest form of laughter.
The Iceholes are running rampant this week. Newest whale experiment, no whales vote to see what happens, except some whales disagree so when they vote those participating in said experiment come marching through on a downvoting spree. Betcha sad not to be here right now!
Damn, it really sucks not knowing whether or not you're okay.