Age, Priorities, and Bucket Lists
So I discovered I'm getting older.
As it is for most other humans, time passes and their body ages.
When you're young, time is a limitless commodity. Unending. Like air, or how bored you are, or the length of the school year. You want to do everything, and tackle many projects, juggling many interests and hobbies. Granted, you become bored quickly and jump to something new often, but in general the desire and curiosity is always there. Your childlike energy and curiosity has found no bounds.
As you get older, long out of school and flowing along with the rush of your twenties and thirties, priorities start to emerge. You want a car, a house, a family, a career, a crapton of money, tickets to the Super Bowl, whatever. Time is more limited as demands pile up. The plethora of things you used to enjoy as a child are discarded, like a man traveling through the desert and slowly dropping bits of clothing or empty water bottles. Unnecessary, unimportant. The things you used to enjoy have been truncated down to a handful of activities that you still have time for.
And then you move gracelessly into your later years, which may be very roughly defined by whenever you have your first midlife crisis. You really see the years piling up on your face and your mind and your body, and see the same weight on those you've loved all your life. You're deep into the doldrums of your career, starting to get bored with a great many things, and even the small hobbies you had no longer amuse you. Everything is kind of falling apart as it ages.
You wonder, then, what to do with the short time you have left? What to interest yourself with when you're becoming less and less able to enjoy things, and have less time to enjoy them in?
One of my steemit friends, @jasonbu, recently tagged me to participate in a 'Bucket List Challenge.' In that, I would theoretically list the 10 or so things I would have as a bucket list (a list of things I want to do before I croak).
I haven't thought about such a list in depth before this, and still haven't. I'm kind of afraid to start writing that list, or even to focus on. What if I have nothing to list? Or, maybe worse, what if I have an abundance of things to list and discover that I've done absolutely nothing to accomplish them?
Have any of you folks out there sat down and completed such a list? Are you working to actually achieve them? Is a bucket list the same as 'having goals in life?' Can muses be found in buckets?
A thoughtful post. The idea of a bucket list first occurred to me from the book Living Forward by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy. The main idea is to write your epitaph, and then to plan out your life backwards from that moment. The epitaph is the focal point of what your life was about in one concise statement, and then everything flows out from that into categories: spiritual/family/career/relationships/ recreation-hobbies, etc.
Then, the point is to create annual-monthly-weekly-daily goals that set you on a course to fulfill your life's mission.
It's a great idea, but I find that I probably have too many things I want to do. Some things have to get jettisoned off side to make room for the important stuff.
I didn't write an epitaph (just seemed too macabre) but I did write a life purpose statement that I refer to from time to time.
It is all in one very long sentence:
I think a life purpose statement can be really helpful to look back on when you're going through the monotony of another seemingly insignificant/ challenging day and you lose your "why."
Some story writers sometimes do the same thing. Some write the ending to the story first, then work backwards from there decide how to reach that desired conclusion. Never been something I could make work for me.
That said, it really is about having goals, even if the goals change all the time. A moving target is better than no target at all. I do like the idea of having very short to very long goals (daily all the way to years out). That way you don't constantly pretend you have plenty of time to do things; there's always a goal to achieve.
Thanks for the thoughts!
Ah ha! You have thrown down the gauntlet, sir! You have challenged us to look into our hearts, to assess our life roadmaps, to think about whether we are on track, have missed signposts along the way, have forgotten to look for treasure on said maps, or have perhaps taken the wrong fork in the road. Or maybe you didn’t. But at any rate, once I got going on the roadmap analogy I couldn’t let it go.
Okay, so here are some of the treasures I am still seeking: I want to be a properly published author. I want to swim in every ocean in the world. I want to climb Machu Pichu. I want to do something that makes a profound difference for other people and/or for the planet. There’s more, of course. Those are just some of the big ones.
I like your list! You deserve to be a properly published author. I don't know if you deserve to swim in every ocean in the world or climb Machu Pichu, but I hope you achieve that too :)
It seems a good list needs to be a mix of things fully in one's control and things not; short term goals and longer goals; and very focused goals as well as things more vague and undefined.
Nothing to be afraid of, right? :) Maybe I will spend some time on mine and try to properly complete jasonbu's bucketlist challenge!
Do eet. I like your guidelines! Very clever.
I bet some muses live in buckets. Mine live in trees. Don't worry though, Neg. They rarely bite.
All muses bite eventually if they're not fed!
Honestly, this is something my wife and I argue about often. She'd rather spend all the time and money making the "perfect" house for us to spend our lives in. I'd rather enjoy the weekends relaxing and doing something I enjoy, but might now create much value.
My bucket list has grown much shorter in the past few years as priorities change and the people who control my time grow.
It's hard to know what to spend your limited minutes on, but it's hard not to argue that it should at least be fun and enjoyable as much of the time as possible. We can't all be hedonists 24/7, but finding ways to enjoy your time each day is a worthwhile goal on its own.
Sinc I'm pouring my life into my kids, I hope they can achieve some of my bucket list items I have put on hold and perhaps surpass or surprise me with what they accomplish. Now, could I do more now? Probably. But I'm tired often, never bored.
Ah, so, kids as a long-term stunt double for the things you missed in life, an emissary from the past you to the future you to give you something to enjoy later in life as you watch them succeed beyond where you stopped. For me, I don't think my cats would serve that purpose quite as well :)
I guess that depends on what your bucket list is :0
Maybe write a book called "Where did all the muses go? And, the ones that are around, be muse-y-er."
I did have an idea for a story along those lines. If I only I had the time to write it :)
In that post I made one that was, "as of now." I didn't come to grips on my mortality until after I had left the military, seems a bit odd, eh - but it was a job and yes you could die but looking back I didn't think that way. You could die any number of ways; be killed crossing the road going to your office job. My bucket list started to come together as I finished school and then layed down the path to freedom 55... midlife crisis aside (that's for another post), I think I will start to put some effort into actually completing it. Make the list, don't be paralyzed with analysis. Life is what it is - live it to the fullest. Those bucket list experiences will take you there.
Carpe diem!
Thanks for the words of wisdom! The Freedom 55 goal is something I've been working slowly towards for a couple decades now. Maybe I'll have that as the first item in my bucket list: Retire before 55 (and hopefully not die too soon thereafter, which would be a dark irony.)
Thx!
Dang, you didn't even post the bucket list. And now I'm depressed XD
Jk, but yeah. I think Im'm just going to not get married or get an address or anything. That should fix most of those problems :P
Sorry Caleb, for making you depressed. :) Also, I don't think 'not doing anything' in life is a proper solution to any of this :)
Don’t underestimate the power of nihilism :P And it didn’t depress me for too long, it’s all good :DD
A most interesting post! It seems that fairly early on, I lost control of my life - calling all the shots myself - although I tried to set things aright all along the way. But if this was going to be the name of the game I decided to do things as I did in school before a big exam - just do the best that I could with all that I had learned. In this case, that result would be called "My Life". It didn't work out badly with those exams and it hasn't with my life, all things considered. By the way, I'm not speaking metaphorically for something spiritual; that's a whole 'nother subject. What I'm saying is, sometimes doing the best you can, along with grabbing some enjoyment on the way, is good enough.
That's what it's about; doing the best you can with what you have and the time you have. It's just a matter of being honest with yourself so you don't suddenly find yourself wallowing in regret later. Hard to know if you're on the right path until it's too late, that's all :)
I really dont like the concept of bucketlists to be honest. They are a reflection from a certain point in time on what you want to achieve, and not necessarily of what kind of person who you want to be. Its more physical deeds and not mental goals.
Id say a good bucketlistpoint would be not to get in a midlifecrisis once you hit freedom 55.
And uhhh...wifey @morodiene has the key point, made them together!
I like your perspective here. I think a good list should be a combination of things you want to do AND the person you want to be.
And creating that list with your spouse together...that's the key :) That way if you make a mistake, at least you made it together.