How to Save Your Marriage by Mending Commitment Statements

One of the keys to a successful marriage is to have a focus on commitment. If you have a spouse, a family or even yourself involved in your relationship it's important to have a focus on commitment. Commitment does not mean that you love them or want them to change, but it does mean you are committed to them as individuals and to the marriage as a whole. You have to be willing to put them on hold at times and remind them about what matters to you. In some ways commitment can be similar to parenting.


It's natural to become distracted and it's a natural response to feel the need to "do something" when you feel the tension beginning to build. That doesn't mean that you love your spouse that way or that they are a bad person. It just means that as a couple commitment can be an important ingredient in making your marriage work.

Sometimes you may find yourself questioning if your focus is on commitment. This can be a good thing and sometimes a negative one. You should be asking yourself why you are hesitant to make a more permanent commitment and how your actions will affect the relationship. There are a number of reasons why some people are uncomfortable with commitment, but the two most common reasons are fear and insecurity.

The fear is basically rooted in your natural instinct to be suspicious of your partner's intentions. If you suspect your partner is falling in love with someone else, you may begin to question your own motives. You may also think that your partner would never leave you for someone else. If this is happening to you, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are not leaving your spouse or your partner. You are simply thinking about making a more permanent commitment now and seeing where that takes you.

The insecurity stems from the fact that you don't feel you deserve the commitment your partner offers. You believe you deserve a better person in your life because you aren't as successful as your spouse. Focus on your success and your desire to make your spouse happy by showing him or her how wonderful you think they are. Focus on the future and not on the past or the "now". If you keep focusing on the past, it will become impossible to focus on the future.

Once you learn to be patient and to put the feelings of guilt aside, you will be able to focus on the object of your affection. If you have been hurt before then this will likely cause feelings of discomfort. The best thing to do is focus on the positive things about your spouse instead of the negative. If you do that you will begin to build a secure feeling around the relationship and your spouse.

To help with your confidence in the commitment you need to start focusing on the future. Make a list of all the things you want in life and see how many things you can realistically accomplish. Then take one item off the list. That one item will be the focus of your attention now. You can continue making the list until you have accomplished as many things as possible. Focus on the positive and let that be your focus now.


You will probably feel a little overwhelmed at times but don't worry. Focus on one thing at a time. If you really want to save your marriage focus on making a commitment to change your habits, invest in a marriage book or workshop. Do whatever you can today so you can improve the state of your marriage.