Happiness - Something external to You
When you find yourself unhappy, you should think about having something external to make you happy. What is outside can have a huge effect on your mood. Some external things are very effective at making you happy and others are not.
The first thing to consider when thinking about having something external to make you happy is what causes the unhappiness in the first place. In other words, what caused your unhappiness? If it is due to an external person or situation, such as your boss, then this person needs to know that you are unhappy. They can use this information to try to change your behavior.
For example, if you feel like your boss is constantly calling you on the phone and asking you to do things that you are not happy to do, they might want to know why you are not happy. By finding out what makes you unhappy, they will know how to change your behavior. An external thing can be very effective in changing someone's behavior. This is because the thing itself changes the internal state of your mind. You might realize that what made you unhappy has nothing to do with anything else but the way you perceive something.
Something external to make you happy is also very effective at helping someone overcome a challenge or fear. For example, if you have a fear of flying, you can get relief by thinking about flying. When you think about flying you may even start to fly even though you are not a great flier. The thing about external things that alter your internal state of mind is that they do not need to have much effect on you. They are more about reprogramming your brain than they are about changing your behavior.
Another effective way to alter your behavior is to use something external to make you happy. If you cannot express your anger properly and you cannot deal with a situation you will find that external things can help you calm down. You do not even have to use pills; just find something that will help you relax. Some people would call this meditation. It does not necessarily mean that you sit with your eyes closed; it means that you focus your attention on something external to make you happy.
Some people would consider this external happiness as a happy bonus rather than a permanent solution to your problems. However, if you are able to change your external circumstances you will still remain happy. If you do not know how to find happiness, then finding it will require that you identify something that will make you happy no matter what. You should be able to identify that happy feeling within yourself.
External states of mind are extremely powerful as they allow us to use the power of the mind in order to change the external conditions in our life. However external things are only one of the external variables that we can change. Happiness is a more complex concept that includes the internal state of mind. The state of your happiness is completely relative to you. No external person can force you to be happy, no external event can force you to be happy, and no external thing can force you to be happy.
You are the only one who can determine your own happiness, and no external entity can do it for you. This is why there is no such thing as happiness outside your control. This is also why you cannot make changes to your external state of mind; you cannot force yourself into being happy. If you can learn to control your own thoughts and feelings, then you can change the external things around you. You can always change your external state of mind, but you cannot force any external event or person to make you happy.