WHY DO SOME PEOPLE HATE LOVE?

Love—kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship—is not only difficult to find, but is even more challenging for many people to accept and tolerate. In my work with individuals and couples, I have observed countless examples of people reacting angrily when loving responses were directed toward them.
One man felt a flash of anger at his wife when she said she was worried about him riding his bike in an unsafe neighborhood. Even though he knew she was not being controlling or judgmental, and despite being aware that her apprehension was based on the fact that she really loved and valued him, he felt rage.
A woman became outright nasty when her boyfriend told her that he loved her so much he wished that they could have children together. She had never expressed hostility toward him before, and the man involved was not pressuring her or even suggesting a course of action. He said it was just a sweet feeling.
In a therapy session, a usually calm and quiet man revealed that he felt fury when people praised him.
Unlike these individuals, many people are unaware that being loved or especially valued makes them feel angry and withholding. Indeed, this paradoxical reaction is largely an
unconscious process. Even a simple compliment, although initially accepted at face value and enjoyed, can later arouse feelings of disbelief or anger toward the person giving the compliment, or can trigger negative attitudes and critical feelings towards oneself. LOVE IS SO BEAUTIFUL IN ITS NATURE GIVE IT THE RIGHT APPROACH AND IT WILL EMBRACE YOU LOVINGLY.