IMPORTANT THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE YOU SAY YES TO HIS PROPOSAL

in #relationship7 years ago (edited)

marriage.jpg

Do you answer yes to these questions or deep down your gut is telling you something is just not right, please do NOT marry that man.
You have to be sure the man you are about saying yes to, is honest with you with his words and his actions. If he’s deceitful to you in the course of the relationship then you shouldn’t expect anything better when you bear his name. He has to be truthful to you; there shouldn’t be lies.

Its so funny that some ladies in a bid to get married and answer “A married woman”, hurriedly dabbles into a marriage full of deceit and unfaithfulness.

These red flags will help you know if you’re in the wrong relationship.

  1. Financial Stability
    I strongly advocate that a lady should marry a man who can take care of the needs of the family. Your man should be able to pay the bills at least, even if he can’t afford most things at that point, you have to be sure he has prospects and future plans in that regards. Don’t marry a man who does not even have plans of making money; I tell you that amounts to a death sentence.

  2. Is he rude to his parents?
    How he treats his parents (and the rest of the family) indicates how he will eventually treat you. Does he expect his mom to baby him? Does he talk back to his dad? Expect the same treatment in a few years.

  3. Has he ever made you feel silly because of your beliefs or values?
    Love is being able to completely be yourself around someone. If he has ever belittled you because of your faith, morals or even political views, he doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t have to agree with all your beliefs, but he absolutely needs to respect them.

  4. Has he ever cheated?
    Anyone who has cheated before is 3.5 times more likely to cheat again, according to a study by a University of Denver grad student. No matter if he cheated on you, with you or before you were ever in the picture, an unfaithful history is a serious red flag.

  5. Has he ever screamed at you?
    Abuse comes in several forms. Screaming is destructive. A man worth marrying wouldn’t degrade his sweetheart that way.
    A healthy relationship should inspire you to be better, but it shouldn’t make you feel like you aren’t enough right now. It may come from things he says or maybe just from your own self-perception, but you don’t want to feel this way for the rest of your life.

  6. Are you nervous about a future with him?
    Sometimes the excitement of marriage can cloud your thinking. At the end of the day, you should be most excited for knowing you’ll have a life-long relationship with him. He should make life seem more exciting.

  7. Do you frequently think about breaking up?
    Your gut-feeling doesn’t get enough credit sometimes. If you worry about the relationship or think about breaking up more often than you enjoy the relationship, your intuition is probably trying to tell you that this isn’t quite right.

  8. Has he ever been so angry it frightened you?

Your man most likely deals with anger differently than you. That’s normal. But it’s not OK for him to fly off the handle. Have you ever wondered if he’ll completely lose control? If your answer is yes, please leave the relationship now. Marriage will only make it worse (and harder to leave).

  1. Does he regularly ask you to skip out on family events?
    One of the major signs of someone who will be controlling is them isolating you from your friends and family. If he pressures you to cut yourself off from them for “love,” you are in dangerous territory.

  2. Does he constantly demand to know where you are?
    Relationships require a great deal of trust. Yes, you should be able to be honest about anything with your boyfriend and vice versa. But if he demands to know where you are, what you are doing and who you are with at ALL times, he’s frighteningly controlling.

  3. Your Feelings For Him
    The previous tips centered mainly on the man but it doesn’t just end there, it shouldn’t be all about him. Many ladies have gotten married when they are so unsure of the feelings they have for their man. You have to be sure you actually love that man; there is no negotiating this, if you don’t love him then there should be no need. Marriage is no small affair; time would come when the chips would be so down and the only thing that would keep you going is your love for him; so if the love isn’t real then the marriage won’t last.

12.Compatibility
Compatibility is one measure that would eventually lead to a successful marriage. The issue of compatibity shouldn’t be taken for granted; when couples are compatible, their marriage is blissful and a joy to watch but when compatibility is lacking in that marriage, it turns to a cat and dog affair.

13 .How Ready Are You?
Marriage is different from a relationship; you might be ready for a relationship but you might not be ready for marriage; to have a successful marriage, you should be willing to take a lot of sacrifices and if you aren’t ready for those sacrifices then you absolutely aren’t ready for marriage.

  1. Make Sure You Aren’t Lured By The Wrong Reasons
    Not to play the role of judge and jury, but you have to satisfy your conscience for the reasons you choose to say yes to him. If your reasons aren’t good enough then you should know that he isn’t your man but like the eleventh tip pointed out, if your feelings are genuine then you should give it a go. Don’t get lured into marriage for the wrong reasons, they won’t last; you would probably get tired of them at a point; marriage is supposed to be a lifetime events, if you get married for the wrong reasons then at some point it would eventually tell.

Remember, as painful as it is to break up, dealing with divorce years later will be much, much worse. No one is perfect, but certain things are never OK in marriage. These questions can help you avoid a world of hurt in the future

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Nice tips.... In addition, forgiveness is a great tool as well... Does he easily forgives and allow things slide? It takes only a humble and a matured mind to do that but if he does kudos. Also learn that two wrongs don't make no right so one should always know when and how to submit.

Good to know that Chi is a relationship adviser, it's making sense.

Nice post quiet educative..

Nice one mate! Welcome to Steemit!
Voted and commented. see you around!

love is open your eyes well, before you say i do

Very important

Hmmmm @ number 1. 9ice write up though

Marriage involves two parties, thus there's need to create a balance, please do the needful. Nice write up notwithstanding.

Really it's a formal thing now... But the oath still stand be the maker

Hello @mmagreat. It's nice to see you around.

This is an interesting topic; marriage is not something to just jump blindly into. Well done! Upvoted.

Do you know that there are many more Nigerians than you can imagine on Steemit right now? We are working on building the Nigerian community on Steemit and making it a lot stronger. You can check our blog for more info and also check out the accounts we follow (we are following all Nigerians we find and you've been added to the list).

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