Late to the Scam Party. Comedy Open Mic 32

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago (edited)

I received a phone call today from someone claiming to be from Telstra. I nearly hung up before speaking to him, because he didn't respond to my first two hellos and it sounded like a noisy call centre. The only reason I stayed on the line was because I'd recently been sorting out some issues with our previous communications provider and I wondered if it was a follow up to that.

The caller had an Indian accent, which fit in as that's where most of our communications call centres are based. The conversation went something like this:

Caller: I am calling from Telstra and want to inform you that your internet will be disconnected for 15 days. Do you want to know why?

Me: Telstra isn't our internet provider.

Caller: It doesn't matter, Telstra provides all the internet connections.

IMG_20181002_175432.jpg

Suspicion was kicking in big time now, because if you're not with Telstra you do everything through your provider and they will deal with Telstra if needed. Telstra will just refer you to your provider if you go direct to them.

Me: Okaaay..

Caller: Do you want to know why you are going to be disconnected?

Me: Sure, go for it.

Caller: You've been downloading viruses and it's affecting the network, causing problems.

Me: I still don't see why it's not my provider contacting me about this.

Caller: You can sort the problem from your computer, well talk you through it...

At this point I hung up. I guess I could have played him along a bit more and pretended to be following instructions on the computer, but I had other things I wanted to get done.

A little look online shows me that this scam has been going on for a few years. Typical, I'm always the last one to get to join in the fun!

Apparently they can get quite threatening if you call them out and threaten legal proceedings for damaging the network.

Be paranoid folks!

Trust no-one!

~○♤○~

Almost forgot! I nominate @partiko, because I think they're volunteering as they keep appearing at the bottom of my posts, and I'll nominate @sirknight, because I forgot how much I missed him.

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We need somebody who's really good at making viruses to have one pre-loaded on his PC.
When they call and take control, the virus infects the scammer's network and wrecks it.
That'd be fun.

I have, like, a dozen viruses ready to infect these guys, but we need to figure out a way to get them to my house so I can bleed in their mouths.

Beautifully constructed. Didn't see it coming. Excellent cadence. A+

Brilliant Matt.

Posted using Partiko Android

Or we find out where they live and go around there with baseball bats...

That really could be fun! 😆

There's a lot to be said for the direct approach.

Much like my first time, I feel that this ended too soon.

Shame.

I'm jealous of you because my first time last way too long. Although to be fair, I'm pretty sure I was focusing way too much on the bellybutton stuff, and, honestly, I felt like I needed to actually use up all the muffin tins before we could put a stop to everything.

Those first time jitters are a buzzkill!

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I am worried if my network will be disconnected too because i read this post mocking Telstra.
Someone help me!
LOL

You're now guilty by association, so you'll definitely get cut off. No one can help you!

Haha wanna know how my phone calls go.

Caller: I am calling from
Me: No not interested thanks, cya

Haha! There are some days when I can't even be bothered to say that much and just hang up!

Suspect everything at everytime. Only way to stay ahead of these Assholes

They're getting sneakier all the time!

I had someone with an Indian accent call me claiming to be from AGL. I told them I wasn't interested in any deals. (The electricity and gas providers want me to combine my services to the one company, and I am not interested in doing this). They tried to get me to stop and listen to them. I did and the first thing they asked for was my account details rather than telling me the details for me to confirm them.
My details should be in front of them.

Sure, it could have been just a new employee unfamiliar with the process, but I just have had enough with them annoying me so I blocked their number.

Blocking the number sounds handy. I wouldn't know how to. I did put myself on the 'don't call' list when I got sick of Telstra constantly calling to get me to upgrade (code for "we want more money from you"). I ended up letting rip at the woman last time and she told me that the list would be the only way to stop my name coming up in their system.

Posted using Partiko Android

My only phone is a mobile, so it's easy to block the numbers from the call log section.

Do Not Call register only affects Australian businesses with whom you don't have an existing relationship; so if you have a service with Telstra, Telstra can call you, whether you're on the register or not. They do have an option to opt you out of marketing calls and emails, but you need to call specifically to request it.

That's interesting, because I specifically asked them several times to stop calling for sales related things and they continued to do so because I am a customer. They didn't stop until I put myself on the don't call register.

You know, this kind of phone calls are terrifying if you think about it. Sure we can smell bullshit from far but what about the elderly people? People who have lived most of their lives in a world where you could trust most people calling you and telling you serious things. People who do not understand these kind of things and just do as the caller tells them to do.

And furthermore, in the future, the scam target could be any one of us. Old age eventually gets everyone.

Yes, humour aside it's nasty business. Reading through that article I linked, it sounds like they really play on the fear factor.

More than once my mum's approached me asking about a text message she's gotten that had her worried and I've told her to delete it, because it's a scam. I'm glad she's checked with me first rather than followed the instructions or links.

Posted using Partiko Android

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