Rules For Participating In Internet Wars

These are some of the items you'll probably need if you're determined to go ahead with that internet war you're scheming...

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENCE TO ANY OF THIS, IT'S MEANT AS HUMOUR (REMEMBER THAT?)

· 1 If you get into an argument online and it goes beyond the point of ever being civil again, block them.

· 2 Do not strive for the final word. Move on.

· 3 Do not respond to baiting – and certainly never stoop to baiting.

· 3a. If you feel the need to respond to baiting, see Rule #1.

· 4 Block them. Go on, do it now. I’ll wait.

· 5 Do not search for ways and means of getting around a block. If they blocked you, move on.

· 6 Do not ask, cajole or persuade friends to send stuff the other (blocked by now, I hope) person is posting, just DON’T, OK?

· 6a No ‘borrowing’ someone else’s account either.

· 7 DO NOT make additional accounts to find stuff you think the other person is posting.

· 8 If you do come across something they’ve said, ALWAYS assume it’s directed at / about someone else and MOVE THE HELL ON! :Rolleyes: It’s not rocket science.

· 9 If you see a post/blog/article the other person wrote and it is about you, move on. Leave it. No, seriously, leave it!

· 9a DO NOT share the link with your friends and tag them in order to wind them up enough to leave comments about the whole injustice of it all.

· 9b DO NOT comment – BAD idea… I wouldn’t do that… oh, you did anyway. OK, DO NOT answer every other comment from other people… oh, you’re doing that too... Sigh

· 10 DO NOT moan, gripe and complain that the followers and/or friends are targeting you – you should have listened to 9b.

· 11 At this stage, delete everything and move on. Yes, blog pages do email the author of the site with a copy of every comment, but what’s done is done. This is what’s known as DAMAGE LIMITATION.

· 12 DO NOT threaten legal action unless you want the hollow sound of derisive laughter haunting your every waking moment – and a few sleeping moments too.

· 13 DO NOT gather friends and family to make a late-night assault on someone’s page. The Internet is awake 24/7 and it is hungry. It will find people who are willing and able to answer every point and post you make, and chances are, they will already know enough about the subject to respond in an informed and intelligent (possibly scathingly sarcastic) manner.

· 14 DO NOT make posts or share links for the sole purpose of having a laugh at someone’s expense. I estimate 99% of internet wars are started because of someone taking offence.

· 15 Know when to use foul language and also, know which swear words or offensive terms are strictly off limits.

· 16 Don’t pick a fight with someone’s family. Don’t use anything about their family as a way of hurting/getting back at them. They will not stop until you apologise – probably not even then.

· 17 If you lose a battle, DO NOT persuade yourself you can win the war. Retreat, lick wounds. Move on. Seriously, how many more times?

· 18 DO NOT assume all of your friends / contacts will find the laugh at someone’s expense as amusing as you do.

· 19 DO NOT keep visiting their blog to see what else is new. You’re boosting their stats, possibly bringing new readers to their site – you are benefiting them.

· 20 DO NOT go to battle on behalf of a friend without READING THE WHOLE BLOG/POST/ARTICLE FOR YOURSELF – you will come unstuck – FAST.

· Bonus #1 If you messed up, apologise and move on.

· Bonus #2 DO NOT go to war against someone who has been online since the 1990s. They have a LOT of experience of keyboard warriors, trolls etc. The rule of ‘Do Not Feed The Trolls’ doesn’t usually apply to them, they enjoy feeding the troll, they lure it in, bait it, capture it and use it as a hearth rug.

· Bonus #3 DO NOT go to war against someone who has set a legal precedence against an online stalker, taken them to civil court and won their case. Chances are, they know what they are doing and you will not win. You’ll get your arse handed to you and will be expected to be apologetic, thankful and show delight at the innovative packaging in which your arse is delivered.

#curie #minnowsunite